To clarify...

A few people have asked as to whether Genea has seen a doctor on the subject of her urinating issues. She has. When she was with the other family and had Failure to T hrive (did not grow or gain weight for 2 years), she had every medical test under the sun. This includes CAT scans, x- rays, MRI, blood tests, medication tests, blood sugar tests, urinalysis and all sorts of other tests I never heard of. She got her very own Pediatric Endocrinologist at a specialty Childrens Hospital.Two important things were learned. First, she had burned out her bodies ability to produce stress hormone. Second, she is completely normal and healthy physically otherwise.

I have spoken with her pediatrician many times. We agree that this is an emotional problem for Genea. It is exacerbated when she is under stress. She also gets "stuck" in certain reactions, certain cycles, and it can take a lot to push her out of it. She does not get consequences for night time bed wetting. It is only when it happens in the day time.

I made up and brought the list of symptoms to Genea's psychiatrist because I tend to be unable to describe clinically significant issues to him. As I pointed out, this is NOT how I see Genea. This was a list of things I thought were important for him to know medically. I thought people might be interested to see the full range of what makes up a stretch of disordered behavior in our house here. Usually in the appointments I stumble along, yammer some nonsense and when we are almost done he will say "OH! You didnt tell me THAT before, well THATS different"(my interpretation). I did not list off things that all kids do. The highlighted things are excessive. Frequent, intense and severe. Not what your average child does. She is not your average child. Likewise her experiences do not make her exempt from serious psychological disorder. Her background does not earn her a pass.


We do not spend our days drowning in Genea's problems. Every day is new. There is no "hangover" from the previous day. Every day starts with few restrictions (no cake for breakfast) for both girls. I have been coincidentally scheduling surprise popcorn and movie parties on days that she is dry. I spontaneously hand out treats and hugs and high 5's for being considerate to others. She earns "chips" for positive behaviors that can be exchanged for painting toenails, picking the restaurant on take out night, etc. Several of the categories are "givens" to ensure there is always daily success in something, no matter what else has happened. Every night we have snuggle time for at least a half hour, tickle time, and kiss kiss time, we just do it, not as anything but just being together. No matter what else happens we do these things. We spend 15 -20 minutes after school every day talking about school and her day and whatever the teacher sent home, drawings and stuff. Fun things, things that were hard, whatever. We do strong sitting together, as well as tapping together. These are the things I can think of offhand to write, it is not rigidly structured, it is just our days. She had to have 5 dry days to get back in her undies and she has made it. Today she went to school with undies on again. She came home with the same undies on, dry. This morning, for the first time ever, Genea got up and went to the bathroom and used it. Teena does all the same with chips and things so that Genea is not singled out.

Incidentally, I have one other bit of information from Genea's other family. She was continent with them because they had a severe and extreme consequence for urinating outside of the toilet. I am not willing to do that and I am not going to discuss what it was. I have tried everything else I can think of. Kind and encouraging. Supportive, hugging, loving. I have given out stickers, and made charts and given out candy. I have sympathized, structured, timed and rewarded on this subject. When it was just a problem here at home we used all sorts of different ways to keep her dry. It was when she started going on herself at school that I decided I needed to really come down hard on this. I know folks are aware of what can happen to a kid like Genea at school with classmates. The kid who pees herself will become a target for years of torment, bullying and abuse. Being this hard on her is not what I want to do and it is not how I want to do it. It is what is working.


In most ways, Genea has grown and developed and is a great little kid. And while I myself may often wonder if I can really help her (who do I think I am?), the proof is in the shoes. After living here for a month, she started growing. She grew 4 or 5 shoe sizes in 3 months. She grew 11 inches in 12 months. Yes that is right. After about 6 months, and after doing enormous amounts of research, reading and reading and reading, learning words I still cannot spell, I was able to put some pieces together regarding her medical condition, took another approach and within another 6 months we were able to throw away her Medic Alert bracelet. Yes, I literally threw it into a corner behind the TV somewhere. (Syringes I disposed of differently). My point is, I am doing my best. I have left no stone unturned and I do not intend to. My instincts have been dead on so far. I forget how frightening the graphic terminology can be and how discouraging it can sound. It is all real. It is not everything and it is not defining of her. It seems I need to be more clear. I have spent too much recent post space on the negatives. So I will try to be more clear and much more balanced.