Potty Boot Camp

What did people do before blogs? Jump off a bridge?


I would be the happiest mom in the world if I could just let up on Genea and have all her issues fall into place. It would be so, so, great, if I could go easy on her, be nice, and have a result. If her surface affect, her insincere interactions, her superficial charm and interest, if any of that were, as was suggested today, a result of "just trying to please" me. I would be truly, ecstatically peeing on myself if that were accurate. That's right. Peeing. On Myself. Were anyone on this planet to put one tenth of that effort out just for the sheer intent of making me feel positively towards them. Wow. What a great life I would have. Who has a life that great that I could even compare too? I can't even think of anyone!


I hate having to be this parent sometimes. Damn it would be fabulous to relax and approximate the mom I thought I might have a chance at being. If I could just give Genea a bowl of ice cream and listen to her talk. I would listen all night. All day, all week. However long it took. I don't want to drag my daughter through all this. My other daughter having to see it, hear it. Ugh. I wouldn't be potty training an almost 6 year old. An almost 6 year old who deliberately, intentionally, P's herself regularily. My house stinks. Their room reeks.


I have tried everything on this P issue. I am at the end. These are the things I have resorted to. Keep in mind this has been going on for 2 years. It is totally voluntary. There are no physical problems. Genea is wearing a pull up to school now. Every day that she P's in it, she has to pay me back for having the extra expense. I pay for one stupid pull up a day. She has to do a nasty chore to pay me back for any extras. She has to sit on the toilet for 10 minutes every 30. She has to sanitize the toilet seat. She has to carry a timer around with her and bring it to me to reset every time it goes off. She has to hand wash out the clothes and hang them outside to dry. She has to sit on a piece of plastic wherever she goes in the house. She may not sit on any furniture. I have tried all these things on and off, but never all of it at the same time. Now, finally, she is trying. 3 of the past 4 days have been dry. Not even going to discuss the overnights. Sigh.


I have one more idea before I resort to using an alarm on the underwear. The placebo effect. I am going to give her a vitamin and tell her it is an anti- urination pill. I have not got it all fine tuned yet, but my idea in general is to say, this will make you able to go potty when you need too, instead of in your undies- pull up- pants- whatever. I will make up a side effect, maybe it could give you a headache, but it will help your P come out where it is supposed to. It is very powerful but you still have to do the work to go into the bathroom, on to the toilet. So there it goes. I am going to start after the weekend, cuz my little darlings are on their way to my moms for the weekend. Woo hoo. Sleep time. Rest. Prop eyelids up with toothpicks and watch late TV. Not that I watch a lot. Maybe get drunk. Oooh, that sounds good.