Saturday, May 31, 2008

Isn't There an Adult Around?

This happens about once a week to me. I am going about my day with my girls and something crappy and unexpected happens. This time, it was a spider.
I have made a lot of effort to keep my arachnaphobia to myself without transferring the fear to my kids. However, spiders are really just that creepy and gross. I think most people find them creepy and gross, and that is perfectly reasonable because spiders are in fact, creepy and gross. And scary. I guess technically then, this is not a phobia because it is a fear based on a real and observable threat. The threat being logically that the gross and creepy spider IS going to get me.
This spider was the usual beige sort, toting a typical number of weapons (8 spindly crunchy legs). My girls went into the usual fit, where some of the screeches can only be heard by dogs (who are not helpful with spiders either). I grabbed the nearest shoe, then spotted my husbands sandels across the hall and grabbed one instead. I felt a bit of guilt but quickly set it aside convincing myself easily that the real reason I wanted his shoe was because it was bigger and more likely to hit and squish the intruder.
Nasty thing died easily on the first smack. But what I want to know is, how did this become my responsibility? Where were the adults who could be counted on to take care of this for us? Who's bright idea was it to leave ME in charge???? Ok granted I am coasting toward a 4th decade in life but how did I get here?

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Praise and Props to Heather B Armstrong!!!

I watch Nightline on ABC because I like to pretend to be uber-aware of current events and the little 7 minute bursts of information (with moving pictures!) sort of float into my brain and, once in awhile, stay. Also, I have a half hour to use before the "King of the Hill" re-runs come on.

This is what I call my "me time".

The preview of the mommy bloggers story normally would have set me a'flippin' except they hooked me with some donald trump-esque overstatements .. . Oh me oh my, when the story of Heather Armstrong and her so called mommy blog started, I heard myself talking. I am the same kind of parent. I see things in the same way as Heather B, and I see myself in her posts. Well, myself minus any income or beyond-basic computer skills. Okay, and add in 2 girls instead of 1. I love and adore my children. They are both brilliant and beautiful. The truth is this parenting thing can, on occasion, even on a lot of occasions, just can suck BALLS!

Seriously. After seeing the Nightline piece, the next day I went to her website and read recent posts. I was prepared for some funny, irreverent humor. I was not expecting to laugh out loud to the point my eyes watered. I was definitely not expecting the water to turn into real tears. Someone. Else. Feels. This. Way.

I have come to an unexpected place in my life. I have a 3 year old daughter, and a soon to be 5 year old daughter adopted 2 months ago. I have worked for a counseling clinic for going on 8 years. I have worked what is called intensive in-home psychotherapy with other peoples children six hours a week per child and usually have about 5 kids to see every week. Recently, the HR director, hereafter known as Her Horribleness, decided to dump on me the full cost of my families health insurance with no warning. WHAT? I can hear the reader scream (gawd I hope I get a reader) She CANT DO that! Oh so she did. The ugly result is that I cannot afford to work and pay for day care for 2 children and pay for health insurance. After a life of working and mostly enjoying it, I have resigned from my job. My last day is tomorrow. I will be a Stay at Home Mom. I am, The Accidental Mommy.


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