Paula Perry said...
did adopting "out of order" affect Teena at all? (as is she is now not the oldest kid in the family)Also would you adopt again? or are you two and threw?
Yep, good question. Don't try this at home! Yes, Genea was adopted "out of birth order". As I understand it, going that way is a terrible idea. The worst. Setting yourself up for failure. I tried to do research on it, and there is almost none! Logically though, it would make sense that the child already there is going to resent a bigger, and the bigger could take a lot of advantage over the littler. Teena could not have been more thrilled to have a sister, seriously. They bonded quickly and were sisters just about the day they met. Teena had some adjustments, but not out of the norm. Same for Genea as far as becoming a big sister.
I would adopt again but I want both these girls in school first. Then we can see. Our house is only a 2 bedroom and oddly designed. So we have grand plans to remodel and make 1-2 more bedrooms. I also desperately need the kitchen relocated. I have been trying for over a month to get some pictures of it to send in the home improvement channels here, to try to get a TV makeover. But I can't get it clean enough, and if I get it cleaned then some person comes along and messes it up before I can get the pic taken!!!!
Today my blog went to 10,000 hits! Woo hoo! And there are 4 new stickers in my followers block! Yippee!
We found it impossible to do the birth order thing without screwing someone up.
ReplyDeleteOur first long term placement, bio kids being 13, 10 and 4, we took in kids that were 13, 11 and 6. Almost everyone lost their place. The oldest new kid was no longer the oldest, the new baby was no longer a baby. Both middle kids were already screwed.
I don't have answers, just pointing out that no one wins this game.
Also, a sidenote on hits. When I moved to word press I found out that my hits were about 8-10 times what the site counter/sitemeter type counters show. The latter don't report those reading in Google reader, or anyone that doesn't land directly on the page where the meter is embedded. Todays hits so far number 231 on wordpress' counter vs 36 on sitemeter. Just thought I'd let you know you are even more famous:)
ReplyDeleteOoh, look how popular you are! Does that make me cool by association since I knew (well, read) you before you were famous? Can I ride on your coat-tails?
ReplyDeleteRe: the birth order. We did the same thing, adopting Katya, and putting her between #1 and #2. We got the "bad idea" thing from a few sources, but it really has worked out fine. There are a few issues, but they are minor and manageable, and I can't imagine even going in birth order, there would be ANY issues with adding a new child to the mix.
Yep, that's what I make of it too. Both girls were going to have adjustment after being two "only" children anyway.
ReplyDeleteOf COURSE you can ride my coat tails, just keep in mind there is probably some pee back there. Got a towel?
i want in on the coat tails...however i will bring a plastic bag to sit on as i don't want to sit in pee.
ReplyDeleteI wondered about birth order as i tell you i was well put out when my little sister came along 10years after me, and that was in order...if you get what i mean. so i am not sure it would matter all that much. no research just opitons that its a bad idea...wonder why.
I think that birth order thing is a bunch of hooey.
ReplyDeleteSergei detests Anastasia (younger) and adores Ilya (the same)....is fairly indifferent to Zhenya (too young to matter). I don't know that kids are as obsessed with their "place" as all that. So much more important is the fact their is an addition - at ALL - as several pointed out. And more important of all the annoying factors or appealing ones, of the additional sibling.