Thursday, May 14, 2009

happy anniversary to my blog

It was just about a year ago that I figured out what this whole blog dealie is about and decided to try it. So this is the one year anniversary of The Accidental Mommy!

(pause for cheers and applause)


(oh crap)

I had heard of blogs and thought the whole idea was silly. Then I heard about the and decided to rethink my definition of silly. Silly don't make that kind of money people! I was leaving my job and not because I wanted to (and not cuz anyone made me either lol). I remember trying to tell a 15 year old client what was happening, that I was leaving the job to stay at home and Mom my kids. I began laughing and couldn't stop. It became a bit hysterical, and not in a good way. Oddly, she understood. Or so she said. Anyway, being a mom was never a goal of mine. But if it were to happen well, I never imagined I would quit my job and stay at home and .... do.... what.... exactly? Home school? Or cook stuff? Clean the house and volunteer at the Ladies Auxiliary? Not the sort of things I am good at. I was pretty sure I would become an alcoholic. Or one of those scrapbook toting home party maniacs. I just noted on another blog that I am a terrible teacher. I am convinced Teena has learned far more from PBS than anything I have tried to teach her. Seriously. I drive thru dinner, or I open it. Cleaning....well, I have never been a cleaner. As a SAHM I have no skills. NONE!

Among other things I swore I would never do if I had kids but I was not going to be having them so it didn't matter, is allow vile sludge like (*gag* s pit*) Barney in my house. Well, Teena goes into a partial coma when Barney comes on and she will actually stop her incessant talking mid sentence and for that little period of time becomes a member of the cult. And so it makes for a great time to blog. Yes, I use the TV to babysit my child so I can do something more interesting. Come and get me Parent Magazine!

So I am still not feeling it. The stay at home thing I mean. At first I resented and counted every minute. I can say I have grown accustomed to SAHMing, but not comfortable with it. I have never gotten to a point where I can say I am in a groove. Where I wake up on Wednesday and say, yup, it is vacuum and meatloaf day. Put Teena in her pink Packer jersey, Genea has eggs and toast and fresh juice for breakfast. Remember her field trip money and it is wear a green shirt day at school. Some folks I am sure are convinced that all makes me evil. What kind of woman can't get with the program! Not only do I admit that I fairly well suck at this but it appears, appears, that I am not even really trying. Like I don't care. Harlot! Heathen! Horrible horrible Mother! Take her M away! She is just an "Other"! Ah well.

I have really enjoyed my little blog here. It has kept me from jumping off a bridge many times. I am happy (but feel a little left out) that I have not gotten any crazy stalkers. (What, you trolls got something better to do???) I am also happy to have gained a regular group of "followers". It makes me so happy when someone new clicks into my followers block! I was worried for a long time that no one would come and read my little stories because they are stupid and boring and secretly people would be like, who does she think she is, William Hung?

My intention with my blog was and still is to be honest and real. I remember being in the depths of Geneas worst time and finding a list serve on yahoo about kids with severe problems and it was such a life line. Just to read from another person that they were having a hard time too was a relief. So that's what I set out to do, tell it like it is and hope that someone finds it useful. The beautiful, the fabulous, the fun and the funny, the ugly and The Crazy!

So I thought I would open up for questions for my first anniversary with myself. I am inviting you to ask any question you want. Anything! Of course now I am terrified that no one will ask anything. So I am serious, ASK STUFF! I will answer in the next day or two in a seperate post.


  1. OK, I'm mostly a lurker. (I do comment very occasionally.) But I couldn't let your anniversary pass without congratulating you. I love your blog. It keeps my spirits up, and it is also one of the blogs that remind me I am not alone in the adventure of dealing with a RADish. So thanks.

    Because I now know you get such a thrill from having new followers, I will try to get motivated to sign up within the next week or so.

    Finally, 2 questions: 1. How did you end up in Northern Wisconsin (do I have that right?)? 2. Do you have plans to return to work outside the home, and if so how old would your daughters be? (I am the primary breadwinner in our family -- husband's a poet, for lots of work but not a lot of money -- and I find myself in a constant tug over work-life balance. Yet I cannot imagine being a SAHM. Maybe working 50% time outside the home would be ideal for me?)

    Congratulations again.

  2. When did you realize that it wasn't going to be sunshine and rainbows? Tell us about the WTF am I doing moment.

  3. Happy blog-iversary! you think you'll go back to work when the girls are both in school? What was your pre-SAHM job?

    Frankly, I think if you were going to be a SAHM, the golden years of that would be when they ARE in school, so maybe don't give up on it yet!

  4. Congratulations!
    I'm so glad to have you in my life. It makes me feel much less lonely and of course there is the daily peeing of the pants when I read your blog. ;D

    Describe the absolute worst day you've ever had in the radical world. Pretty please....

  5. I love your stories and come here for my regular fix from a regular mom. My question: how did you go from not planning to have kids to adopting a child from disruption? What a leap!

    Peace and Happy Blogaversary!

  6. Hey, Essie - Happy Anniversary!!! :D

    Your blog is a highlight of my day, so I'm glad you started it. What's funny is that you say you were never going to have kids and certainly not be a SAHM - I was the polar opposite - gonna be the SAHMest Mom in the world, gonna have it all together, gonna have a great time being a mom. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    Good for you for toughing it out, even though it's not your first choice. It truly is only for a few years and your girls NEED you - especially Genea. They will be grown up before you know it (really, I'm not just blowing smoke).

    So, do you WANT trolls to stalk you? :D I mean I DO have relatives over there - I'm sure I could find out where you live if I tried really hard. (maniacal laugh).

  7. You know, I came in contact with a friend from hs on facebook and she said her kids were her life. I asked her if she ever missed her old life before her kids and I indicated I was having trouble with my transition. She never wrote me

    I feel like you. I was going to be single forever and I thought I'd give it a go when I married a man who wanted children and then PooF! 5 kids.

    We didn't even get to try. So, I have a very hard time. Hell, I have a hard time being married and my hubbins is great. But I miss my single independent do what the hell I want to do when I want to do it life. I haven't got over it. Do you know how often Martha Stewart's name gets thrown around here by the kids and Hubbins?

    I am not Martha. I had a career, I have an education and I stay home and rot. I worked in a male dominated field and all this cooking and laundry and well you know...soooo not my thing. I try but I do find myself resenting being the one who needs to make a house a home.

    I get you.

    Congrats on your anniversary. I was Freak Magnet and then Zen Master before I became Accidental Mommy. lol

  8. Hmmm, you hate me because I am a Vikings fan? Or do you just throw up in your mouth a little but swallow it?

  9. D@mn blogger and not posting my comment yesterday- now it totally looks like I've not been stalking you properly. I swear I wished you a happy bloggyversary right after Annie yesterday but fates conspired against me!

    Naturally it's been a full day since I initially tried to comment so I completely forget anything else I said but just wanted to say HI , I'm still stalking :)

  10. Whew! Nice to know more like me are out there. Not just the mom of a RADish but that sucks at the whole Leave it to Beaver thing. I imagine it in my mind and I make charts that get thrown away and make schedules that don't get followed and start laundry that never ends (or gets put away correctly). I do widh I had more time at home cause I think I could get more accomplished...right?

    Question: Favorite childhood memory?

  11. I have no stalkers either.... People go "Oh you accidentally left in a last name!" I'm thinking, I could put in my whole name, address and phone number, and all it would get me would be someone else calling about a special time-share offer.

    Congratulations! I am so glad I stumbled on your blog; you are a highlight of my day, too.

  12. Congratulations!!! As I told you some time ago I love your blog and the way that you write even though I don´t have children and am not married. Maybe my life is a little like the one you planned before you found The Husband, and I cannot lie, I really enjoy it, being independent is great. But I can totally tell, by the way that you write, that you enjoy your life as much as I enjoy mine. So thank you for sharing it with your readers. Just for the record, I am a non-American reader and of course i didn´t get your post about American footbal (even though when I was a teenager I used to follow it).

  13. Hi Essie,

    My boys are 3 and 1 1/2. I completely understand what you mean about "the transition" and I'm not quite through it yet either. I go to a parent group and the leader was telling us that the older a woman is, the harder the transition is for her. Her theory is that the younger women, in their early twenties or whatever, don't know what they're missing like we do. They've haven't had the luxury of such a long period of independence, or career success. I think it's pretty cold that your h.s. friend didn't write you back even if she couldn't sympathize. It is such a common feeling and I think most women just don't allow themselves to be honest about it for whatever reason, which sucks because we could all help each other if there wasn't that stigma.


  14. Just a happy anniversary from someone coming along after you in the adoption journey. Thanks for paving the way!

  15. Here is a present for you. It's just what you asked for:

    You are a horrible mother! How dare you even think about anything other than your children? Don't you know that is completely unacceptable?!?

    And, why aren't you cooking for your family and vacuuming in heels and pearls every day? Don't you know that will car your children for life?

    Everything that irritates you about your children is YOUR fault!

    A Troll!
    (Trolls use lots of exclamation points and leave nasty comments!)
    Something like that? (note to the the internets who don't know me and do not understand--this was a joke. don't come trolling on my blog. i don't like trolls.

  16. Kate, aren't trolls supposed to use all caps, too?

  17. Ha ha, and Kate dear? Trolls don't usually have such good spelling.


    Thanks for the effort though.


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