Saturday, October 11, 2008

...you want to do what?

My door bell rang this morning.

This rarely happens. I know I have written in the past that I have no aspirations toward being Super Mom. Adequate Mom, sure. Super Mom, not so much. Super Moms are not only able to keep their homes clean, they are sanitary as well. So when their door bell rings with Ed McMahon holding a check, they can open the door wide and let everyone in. I discourage visitors. My standards of housekeeping are low. I will not go into specific detail on this, but if I am going to get a guest I need about a weeks notice. The day Ed comes, I will step out into my overgrown yard to accept my check then suggest we all go to Chuck E. Cheese to celebrate.
I run to the door and I can see there are 2 kids on my overgrown porch, a boy and a girl. I open the door (and note that the stupid screen door has come off the track again and is flapping off in the corner) and I am greeted by these two children about 9,10 years old. The boy says, um, hi, um, I am Abbie's brother (a classmate of Genea) and um I wanted to ask if we could go in your yard and look for snakes.

Hmm. Well. I can't think of a reason not to.....hmmm. OH!
"Did your mom say this was ok?" I asked responsibly (did everyone catch that moment of Real Mom behavior on my part?).
Yeah, they both assert confidently, yeah it's ok with her.
Hmmm. Side thought here, this is the mom who met her kid at the bus stop with a beer....couldn't set the beer down long enough to go a half block to the bus stop.... yet this is Wisconsin and bringing your drink to the bus stop is oddly acceptable.....
"Ok then, have fun"

I go back into my house and tell The Husband that there are 2 kids snake hunting in our yard. Teena is immediately fired up. I WANNA HUNT SNAKESSSSSS TOOOOOOOOOOO. Hmm, let me think sweetie....NO. We watch them for a few minutes, and they genuinely are looking in the bushes and poking into trees and overgrown who-knows-what. Boring. It occurs to me that they are doing us a favor really. If there is a snake somewhere in our yard, well I will be happy to let them have it and take it away. Huh. This could work out really well! I am pleased!
Another thought wafts through my brain sort of in the back cob-webby area. Super Mom would think this is not a great idea. Super Mom would make sure they had on snake hunting boots and one of those stick things the Crocodile Hunter used, and would have an ambulance on stand by if something were to bite. Super Mom would have sent out The Husband to help and would be prepping a snack. Or maybe she would have gone to the snake store and bought them one. Or maybe she would have just said NO
SNAKE HUNTING and put up a sign in the yard to discourage other young zoology wannabees. Uh oh.

No worries. After about 20 minutes the door bell rings again. This time The Husband goes to answer. I can hear the boys voice.
We couldn't find any snakes. Do you know where they are?
No, The Husband says, No, I am sorry I don't.
Um, the boys says, does your wife know where the snakes are?
The Husband says, no, she doesn't (with a snort, knowing as he does that if I had any idea there could be a snake we would have moved back to the city where there are bricks and concrete and people are meant to live).
Sad and dejected, the children leave and go home.

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