Sunday, March 14, 2010

Somebody owes me money

Someone owes me some cold hard cash. A referral fee or an idea fee, or a some kind of pay me for coming up with this fee. Maybe I will send a bill. Check this post out, (at the bottom) then tell me who I should call up.

So, a few things about the new Celebrity Apprentice.

Dear Bret Michaels,
For the love of cannabis man, do something else with that hair! When your hair makes both Trump's and Blago's hair look good it is time for a change. Please. Change. And btw, while I am writing you, enough with the Rock of Love Bus and crap. It might have been cool in the 80's to advertise the crust on your wee wee but this is a new century.

Dear Joan Rivers,
YOU rock. Seriously. I love how you went to the little diner on the show and despite the crowd at the lunch counter, you put your Birkin handbag on it's own chair. The Birkin deserves no less.

Dear Donny Jr,
For the love of expensive hair gel, please stop referring to the woman's team as "the girls".

Dear Ivanka,
Please kick Donny's ass. We all know you can take him.

Okay I am done now.


  1. That's hilarious! You should write the network!

    The real reason I'm writing is to tell you I'm waaaay too excited about TTT :-D

  2. Nice, Essie. My son was sitting behind me, and he says, "Mom, what does 'ass' mean?" So I had to say, "um, well, it means 'butt,' but I'd really rather you didn't use that word." And he said, "who wrote it, that woman or one of those girls?" So I said, "um, the woman." And he declared you not nice.

  3. OT: I saw a car called a TEANA today. Who knew?

  4. HEEEEEEEEEEY! I am not not nice!

    How on earth do you have a child who has never heard the word "ass"? I am highly impressed! What about other curse words, does he know any? Gosh, our kids....well.... they are fluent although they don't use them. Huh. That is amazing. Sorry to ruin his life.

    TTT is going to be.... your secret indulgences. When all else fails in your life and despite the possibility of having to eat actual grass and twigs, what are the things you will insist on spending money on anyway.

  5. He got "shit" from the bus. I think that's his entire bad-word vocabulary. And, really, I'd rather his life got ruined by reading than by riding the bus, so thanks! You did him a favor.

  6. my kids hear us swear all the time and everytime Fudge hears the word crap he comments on how that is not an appropraite word for kids to hear.
    ps I left you a reply on my blog.

  7. So funny! I agree about Bret's hair!

  8. Cracking me up. Bret's hair is soooo bad. The 80's are over boy. Move into the next century or at least the next decade.

  9. Lol...makes me want to watch that show!

  10. Yep. I wanted to reach into the tv and choke Donny a few times. What a puke he is!

  11. Sorry I don't watch this but I can imagine from what you wrote what I'm missing.

  12. Oh the hair. Brett, DUDE. just give it up already. I know your hair is your glory but you aren't fooling anyone!!

    I love that show.

  13. Seriously! And now I want to know, what is under that bandanna. Probably skin as white as a snowflake. As pale as the skin between your toes.

    Where do you even buy a bandanna like that anymore? Could it be the same one after all these years?


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