Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Maybe this is funny...

Maybe I am just nuts. You can decide for yourself.

The past few weeks have been really stressful. You may have noted a time or two that I try to handle stress with humor. Makes the stress less stressful sometimes.

The day we watched the Sheriff deliver our Temporary Restraining Order to our daughters' former adoptive and terminated parent who moved in with The Skank across the street, The Husband told me later that this caused a great disturbance at the other house across the street. Not with Jack, but with the folks who live directly across from us. See, they are the sort of folks you might refer to as, well, alternative. We believe they may sell their alternatives from their home. However they are very discrete and very quiet. They don't bother anyone and we would have not ever noticed them had it not been for the fact that The Husband and I have had a vague, passing familiarity with those who deal in smokables from a hundred years ago.

Are you thinking, what kind of street do they live on with the pill popping Skank and now doobage dealers? My answer to that is you probably have a lot more people around you than you realize, who engage in alternative uses for stuff. Or who enjoy the intended uses for stuff.

So, nothing like the appearance of some officers of the law to bring out your neighbors, truly. Brought down the average speed of traffic on our street as well. Quite a few people I have never even seen before (and we have lived here almost 10 years) suddenly had a need for exercise of the walking- in- front- of- my- house- really- slowly variety. 

Anyway, The Husband tells me that just after the Sheriff drove up, he heard someone at the other neighbors yelling "Was that the Sheriff? Did the Sheriff just drive by? Why is the Sheriff here?". Followed by lots of doors slamming and general chaotic sounds of panic. The very second the officer pulled away after delivering the notice, people started barrelling out of that house, jumped into 3 separate cars, and sped off.

Dear Alternative Types,
I am so sorry you panicked and felt you had to flush your doobage. I know that the sense of paranoia can increase when one is high because I read it in a book. That had to suck. Please blame it on Jack Ass as this is all his fault.

I think this is really funny in a bizarre and grotesque way. I don't know if anyone else will. My sense of humor is not for everyone.

In other news, I have been writing it down every time I see Jack. The Husband made contact with a police officer who has opened a case file and is waiting for his first entry. He came over to our house today and helped us clarify some issues. There have been 2 incidents already where Jack avoided a violation because I kept Genea out of his sight. In other words, I saw his jackassed self before she did and I moved her out of the line of sight quickly. The Husband called Jack yesterday and reminded him that he is violating his order by being visible outside of his house and we can call the cops at any time. Jack whined, "but how am I supposed to know if she can see me or not?" to which  The Husband replied, "that's the point, that's why you have to move!". ARRRGH, I just SO totally would have thought that was obvious. Move! Anyhow, some officers went over there again today to remind Jack that it is just a matter of time before Genea sees him and he gets in trouble with a violation. That it is really unavoidable if he is going to try to live there. So he should really move. Our nice officer called us tonite with an update but now we are playing with messages and crap so I guess we'll find out later what they said.

ps. go check out late entries for TTT #16 and don't forget to leave a nice comment for the people who write up their awesome stories!


  1. Noo, it's not just you, THAT IS FUNNY! So sad you have to go through this too. HUGS!

  2. I think it's hysterical.

    And I'm so glad for the GREAT police officer! It sounds like you've got everyone on G's side--right where they belong.

  3. Oh make no mistake, that IS funny! Yes, sometimes I do take pleasure in the discomfort of others. I can be mean like that!

    It is so good to hear that the police are supportive of you and actually encouraging Jack to just move! THAT is fantastic!

  4. Breathing a sigh of relief that the officers are "encouraging" JA to move on.

    After watching Weeds recently I have a little video going on in my head that is representative of what was going on in that house. *insert snickers*

  5. That is Funny!! And I did have to think "my goodness, what kind of neighborhood does Essie live in?".. You're completely right I might be surprised by mine we have a college 2blocks away but our neighborhood is mostly grannies.. I might get an even bigger giggle out of old grannies flushing stuff b/c the cops showed up :)

  6. Ha ha Jack! Essie's smarter than you are!! :)

  7. As soon as you mentioned the alternative lifestyle, and I could see you weren't referring to a sexual preference, I have to admit I too wondered about your neighborhood!! It was just me wondering, not judging, FYI. Anyway, yea, it's kind of luck of the draw. You never know about your neighbors or what goes on in their house. I mean really, if you live in the hood, ghetto, or the projects, well you should just expect that trouble is as common as a meal. But for the rest of us who are home owners in a reasonable residential neighborhood, well, most people would like to believe they live "above" that sort of thing. WRONG! I don't normally flash this around, but I live in a neighborhood that is a gated community; million dollar homes (mine is NOT). Anyway, boys up the street from us have been caught doing drugs at the busstop, other boys up the street have been in trouble with the law, arrested, sued, and sent to jail/work camp (as teenagers!!). And then there's of course my wonderful neighbor across the street who invited the WHOLE neighborhood to a drunkfest at her home, everyone but us. So I called to ask if we've offended her, and she said yes, you yell at your children. Um, excuse me? It's called discipline and I'm not screaming and yelling my head off at them. I explained this and told her probably the only time I "yelled" was moving day (who doesn't feel high stress then?) and that for all I know she could be doing drugs. She should not judge. Karma is funny. She's been caught with drugs. She moved.

    Drugs are everywhere.

  8. Heck, go have a chat with the AL's. When they find out who was the cause of their emergency doobage flushage, they may become your new best watchers.

  9. That's definitely funny!

    So glad the police are working with you so willingly. Keep up the vigilance.

  10. Yep, we are definitely trying to keep up the pressure on the Pinheads. I am not going to take a nap and wait for something to happen. Until the day Jack moves it is open season on jackasses.

    Our neighborhood is mid- middle to lower-middle class. But I would rather have potheads living by me than child molesters, wife beaters, kid beaters, drunks, etc . Your average pothead has little- to- no ambition or motivation for any crimes other than acquiring more pot! There is a really nice house on the corner with noisy teenagers in and out all day. How can they be in and out all day when they are supposed to be in school? Dunno.

    The police have been like, so Jack is causing your child emotional problems? And I have said no, he is a grown man stalking a six year old child and he needs to move away!

  11. We live in a very "exclusive" community where the houses are so far apart I can barely see my neighbor's roof way off in the distance.
    Come to find out he's a big time mafioso.
    Good luck in getting JA to move out. Having read Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People" I can't help but think of his example of a man who had killed several people but he found excuses for what he did and he considered himself a pretty nice guy.

  12. Open season on JA's! Too funny! Keep it up! And yes that IS funny!

  13. I love that the doobage folks panicked. How funny!

    I am completely in awe of the fact that he has not moved yet...DUH! What a Jack Ass!

  14. Oh do I know what the sight of police cars in front of the house bring out! Across the street from us is a 19 yr old kid who has had his share of drug treatment. His parents smoke the wacky tobaccy with him because "hey he's at home and that's better than doing it somewhere else" It doesn't matter what time of day or night the cops were at our house (for DQ) and he was texting my Mr 19 saying how they were shaking over there. Yes, it is funny Essie! Grab humor by the ass and have a good time with it!

  15. I think that is extremely funny. It could be a movie scene, actually.

  16. Right, come to think of it my best friend in junior high, I used to sleep over at her house all the time. Her dad murdered 2 women. So you never know. Nice neighborhood there too!

    I am so glad other people think this is funny. I was worried my brain had gotten warped. I mean, it might be anyway I just thought it might have gotten worse, LOL!

  17. I agree it is funny. I hope that it doesn't backfire on you and they think you are messing with them.

    I can't imagine why Jack would want to be in the position in which he is in. Does he want his child? That surprises me because it would be so rare. Curious.

  18. Jack is not related in any way to Genea. He and his exwife adopted her from Ukraine, had her for 3 years, then disrupted their adoption.

    I think the other neighbors know by now we aren't messing with them, because all the officers have been going to The Skank's door. Regardless, we're not messing with anyone. I try to make it light to keep a cap on the boiling anger I am feeling, but this situation is incredibly serious and potentially dangerous. We are doing what we have to do to keep our daughter(s)safe.

  19. I think it is quite funny. And my delighted thought was "Their neighborhood is like OURS!" Notice I have not yet done the "look at my pretty home" post on my blog.

    Anyway - very funny, actually, and if you can't have fun looking out your windows while standing in a darkened room behind curtains, then your neighborhood is just TOO good.


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