Sunday, March 29, 2009

It's Mad Cow Disease

The Husband thinks we all have the flu. But since it is my scholarly and experiential opinion that he is always wrong, it must be Mad Cow Disease that I have. I am not a doctor but I watched 'er' for a really long time and I also watch 'House'. I feel like my brain has been turned into a sponge by visiting alien worms along with the logically following dementia. I think its logical. If it isn't, take it up with the cows. Or the worms.

Okay, I might be exaggerating. It's probably Irritated Bovine Disease. Or Pissed Off Dairy Disease. I am serious about the dying part though. However no one seems to care. I counted my comments. Very few people care that I am dying compared to the huge number of people who are evidently fascinated by insects and traveling pee. Uh huh. Don't try to sneak in a caring comment after the fact either. They are dated and time stamped. It is too late.

Genea went to another kids party this weekend. It was the sister of her friend across the street. This time I dumped her at the door and ran (my time has come!!!!). We have all been so sick all week we had nothing to give this poor child for a gift and no one could get themselves up or moving enough to go to a store without losing consciousness. So The Hub went to McDonalds drive thru and bought a bunch of gift cards and I had a little make your own jewelry box thing to decorate that I bought a while back to do with the girls. It went to the party girl instead. I keep a box of generic birthday cards around for just such an occasion. I think greeting cards are huge useless wastes of money. Especially for a kid we barely know. What kid reads the damn card? Only when the parent is snapping a rubber band on their arm to make them do it. I don't care about cards. I don't want them and I try not to give them out either. Here, take the $3.00 bucks the stupid card costs and pay some tolls.

Genea has been on a tear to end all tears the past few weeks. I don't even have the energy left to describe her. Madonna is apparently adopting a 4 year old little girl (named Mercy- how cute is that!). You go Madge.

Usually I write up a post then I go back over it later to check on it and then I "publish" it. Sometimes, they try to publish themselves when I am not looking. So once in awile a post goes up before it is ready and I take it down as soon as I catch it. I am certain this is user error, and should explain how people sometimes read a post and then it disappears.

Off to die now. Fingers are rigor mortissing.


  1. Oh Essie...I am so sorry. May the mean the sick germs leave soon!

  2. Oh, don't die. I care, I do!!

    Poor you. Hope you are better ASAP.

  3. Oh, I totally thought you were kidding about the dying thing. You're not? That sucks.

    Anyhoo, I hate cards, too. Hallmark has nothing on most cults. Usually I just write on the newspaper wrapping paper with a sharpie...if they were lucky to have the thing wrapped at all.

  4. I can't ever remember my username and password to leave comments but will make a better effort from now on since you think no one cares you are rigor mortissing. I love to read your stories.

  5. *sniff* thanks guys (I am typing with my nose).

  6. Typing with your nose--what a nut. You know, I watch er and house all the time so I think you would be an expert diagnosing this mysterious disease you have going on! I am an expert, I even watch re-runs!

  7. well i hope that you are feeling better soon.
    Take care and cards are a bit annoying, i make mine and i will let Sarah make them too soon, then you dont spend money on it.

  8. You are cheering my early morning with your humor. :) You CHICKEN! I do not see you teaching in the middle of the night? What GIVES? And you say you want to earn money... This "sickness" is just an excuse.

    Anyway, I was very relieved to see I got my caring comment in under the wire.

    Again...A soul mate! I too hate greeting cards...only you keep a pile of generic ones; I am blazing the trail of NOT GIVING THEM! Not with a gift anyway. They better pay attention to the name of giver written on packaging.

  9. Well, you have dated proof that I asked you how you were doing, right???

  10. Please get better soon. :)

  11. Thanks everyone!!! I still feel like road kill though. The kind that has been in the sun a while. Blagh.

  12. Honestly, I just didn't want to catch if from you, so I didn't leave a comment ;-p

    Seriously though, I hope you feel better soon!

  13. Um, okay now that the haze has lifted and I can see without tracks of blinking lights following my eyes, I realize I sounded needy AND whiny here, which is an awful combination.
    Not my best.

  14. I thought it uproarious as usual!


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