Friday, March 12, 2010

HOO- wah! Pinheads lose! Sort of!

You can probably click on these to make them bigger and readable, but I will summarize down there.































We got our Injunction- Child Abuse, Order of Protection against the man known as Jack Ass, effective for the next 2 years. YAY!!!!!! This is most excellent and wonderful!

It was the strangest experience I have ever had in court.  The judge we had could only be described as volatile and at one point threw her glasses across her desk as she yelled at all of us. Seriously! She did! We went in to court and she was reading off the complaint and talking to herself about how she just got the papers, we should have a Guardian ad Litem assigned, she shouldn't have to deal with this but since we were there, she would ask Jack if he would agree to the conditions. Here are the conditions:

  • avoid the child's residence and any premises temporarily occupied by the child
  • The respondent to avoid contacting or causing any person other than a party's attorney to contact the child unless child consents in writing and the court agrees the contact is in the best interest of the child.  Contact includes contact at child's  home, work, school, public places, in person, by phone, in writing, by electronic communication or device, or in any other manner. Contact also means knowingly touching, meeting, communicating or being in visual or audio contact with the child.

I think she threw a temper tantrum herself when Jack asked her if he could still drive his girlfriends children to the same school and she scornfully derided him with "What part of "no contact" do you not understand? Figure it out"!

Amongst all the yelling and nastiness, she let us know that Jack can stay living where he is. We tried to ask a few questions like, how will that work out with him coming and going and such. Jack piped up that he always wears a disguise because he puts on a hat and sunglasses. My eyes rolled violently back in my head before the judge started yelling at us all again. She pointed out that she cannot even control where a sex offender lives, let alone something like this.

Jack agreed to the terms of the order. It was delightful to me to hear that he felt "blindsided" by being served with the order because he thought he and The Husband "had planned to meet again and keep working things out". The Husband jumped in and reminded him he said he would stay away from Genea and that very next day was waiting at the school bus stop, unavoidably visible. Well that pissed off the judge even more that they were talking to each other, and she blew up again, hollering something about "it's not Judge Judy in here", LOL!

I think I saw this, the Order of Protection, as a final step. Like, we would get the order and he would be gone. We would be stuck with The Skank but I could take her on easily enough.  It's disappointing that being granted this seems to be a step in the middle of a process that is going to continue. Now, whenever Genea see's Jack we have to call the police and report that he is in violation of a restraining order by being in visual contact with her. We live in a small town and our police are extremely impressed with their importance around here despite our lack of crime to investigate. But I still have to imagine that they have better things to do than schlup over to my house a few times a day over a man walking to his truck from the door of a home. I am not happy to require officer intervention every time. It makes me very squeamish to think that The  Skank's 2 children are going to be scared with police at their home every other day. I have to protect my children and what she does with her's are her mistakes to make. I know that she and Jack are the adults making the wrong decisions and since those selfish decisions directly hurt my children I have to put my children first in the situation. I know that we were here first and we have done nothing wrong. I still am apprehensive about it all.

As I sit, typing this all out, it is occurring to me that this is probably a pretty big 'achievement'. That we  probably pulled off something quite rare, come to think of it.

So, maybe they will move. It will be an enormous hassle to try to live in a place where you cannot be seen. But then, logic seems to be alarmingly absent from that side of the street.

Anyway, we won! HOO-wah!

27 comments:

  1. Congratulations! Half a battle won is better then where you started! I hope he is smarter then he appears, and you won't see him again.

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  2. Wahoo! If nothing else, it sent a clear message...hopefully. But at least from your side of the street, it's legally enforcable.

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  3. Nice! Now let's see how long it takes for the suppossed adults across the street to get the message that they don't fit and must git! Have you guys told Genea yet?

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  4. Yay! Congrats!

    Hopefully if the police have to keep coming and dealing with JackAss they'll get pissed at HIM and make HIS life miserable. That'd help in the whole "GO AWAY" message you're sending!

    Glad you have recourse, now, when he "accidentally" runs into you.

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  5. Yes, we told Genea. In normal Genea fashion she seems fine, says she is fine etc. But is pulling out every bizarre little behavior she ever thought up to do all at once. For example, she ate half of her sisters toast at breakfast. Left the other half sit there with her teeth marks in it. As though no one would notice. Those little things. I can live with it though. If it makes her feel better, chew on!

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  6. Good for you guys to show that you are empowered to take the actions necessary to protect your daughter.

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  7. I suspect that you will have to get the police out there once or twice (or many times) before they get the message. Sounds like "Jack" must be my ex-husband's twin brother/cousin/missing link...

    Skank may have to get out of bed, drive her own kids to school, pick them up at the bus and BE A MOM! Wow, what a concept!!!

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  8. Great! And after you've called the police 46,000 times in three weeks, they might do the rest of the work for you.

    Having to do anything in court makes me want to live in a tribal community somewhere far, far away.

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  9. Bravo, Essie. You guys did GREAT! That is a huge blanket restraining order. If I were you, I'd be ready to call the police on him extremely consistently the first 10-20 times he violates. He IS going to violate -- I would think the "no visual contact" is almost an invitation to him. If you make his life miserable enough (that includes the Skank and him having to deal with children who are scared by the police presence), then they will either get the point and your life will become much more bearable, or they will move or break up. But I think consistent vigilance/enforcement from the start is the only thing that's going to get you there. For that, I am sorry. But for your achievement I am sooooo proud of you!!!

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  10. It SOUNDED sort-of like Judge Judy... Weird, but it must not have been upsetting. I'm glad - and VERY impressed at the speediness of it all. Still "disguise"? What a weirdo.

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  11. I think this is a big! You could be setting precidence for situations like this! I wonder if you'd want to go to the police to inform them of the background on this so they are aware of the importance here. When DQ wanted to file a restraining order against her attacker we were told by the investigator that if he ever broke any of the 'rules' on the restraining order that we could call them and he would be picked up. How many times do you have to call before they do something with him? Should only be one time-especially concerning a child!

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  12. Good for you (and your family) for going through al the steps and the hassle to get the restraining order...hpefully the Skankensteins will get the hint and leave town...

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  13. You go Mama Bear, way to protect that cub

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  14. Awesome, but WTF was up with the judge? Sheesh.

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  15. Bottom line is, Jack probably is smart enough to realize that nothing will happen to him if you do call the cops except maybe he'll get a talking-to.
    I doubt he will be jailed for a violation.
    People like Jack like their comfort and right now he's comfortable right where he is. It's too much trouble for them to move so they won't.
    Maybe I missed something, but did Jack ever physically or sexually abuse Genea? Cops will sometimes get motivated over a molester, but they're basically misogynists who think women are all hysterical harpies who are out to "get" men. They may even sympathize with Jack.

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  16. AWESOME news. It's his problem to try and figure out how to not be seen.

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  17. Erika- we did see her take her own kids to school this week! LOL!!! It was a shock!

    The order says that a violation "shall" result in immediate arrest, imprisonment up to 9 months and a fine up to $1000. For whatever its worth. It just states 'Injunction- child abuse' at the top, so there is no specification as to what kind of abuse took place.

    For our part, I documented emotional abuse in the past, and the current emotional damage his presence was causing. I will post it if it makes any sense after all the redacting I would need to do.

    We are going to watch things for a few days then go discuss it with local police. Ask them how they would like us to address problems, explain the whole mess. Maybe we can turn in a sheet with all the violations in a week for example, lol.

    Skankenstiens, HA!

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  18. Thank you, God! This is awesome, Essie! YAY!!

    When you see the police, I would ask them directly, "When I have to call you, what kind of support can I expect?"

    You must be happy dancing all over your house! :)

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  19. Thank you, God! This is awesome, Essie! YAY!!

    When you see the police, I would ask them directly, "When I have to call you, what kind of support can I expect?"

    You must be happy dancing all over your house! :)

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  20. I am totally doing my 'take that' dance on your behalf! Take that Jack!

    You are amazing parents and your little one is so very lucky to have you both!

    I vote for calling the police every single time he is in violation of the restraining order! It seems he may very well decide to get out of dodge, or at least OFF YOUR STREET!

    Hugs to you all!

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  21. *breathing a heavy sigh of relief*
    Hoping the JA and TS will get the message and move on. I'd seriously wear out the police. Seriously keep documentation (in case they forget) of every infraction (dates, times, circumstances). You may need them.

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  22. HOO-wah indeed.

    *secretly hoping he violates the order and lands in jail*

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  23. Fantasmatic! (A word I invented in junior high and had to pull out of retirement to post here. It just fit.)

    I'm with BT--call every single time. Either it will make HIS life uncomfortable (maybe even embarrassing?) or it will be inconvenient to the police and THEY will make his life uncomfortable.

    Either way, it's good.

    And I think this is very big and very good! I'm glad the judge went ahead. Can you imagine how long it would take to get a guardian ad litem involved and up to speed?

    Did you make a copy of this for Geana and put it up in her room? I'd have it up all over the house! And I'd have kid-friendly versions with pictures of Jack crossed out with simple words: Jack must leave Geana ALONE or else the POLICE will take care of him.

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  24. Good deal. That is step one. Hopefully this will shake up Jack and The Skank enough and you won't have to call the police on them. But, if you need to, do it! The only way to deal with the criminally stupid is to make them so miserable they will move on.

    Watch out for retaliation, though. Her girls being ugly to yours, Jack intentionally spooking your daughter, etc. It's certainly not beneath them!

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  25. Good for you. The cops really hate criminals who mess with kids. Having a restraining order is the best thing that can happen for them, because they don't have to wait for him to mess up big time. They can just come out, state he has violated his order, and be good guys, and let me tell you, most cops got into it to be good guys. There are consequences for violating a restraining order, check your local penal code. If he doesn't take it very seriously, he will shortly have it taken seriously for him. Good for you!!! This is one of those things that your kid will look back on and realize how hard you worked to protect her. Also don't worry about protecting Lady Skank's kids. That's her job, not that she is doing it, and a visit from real, live cops might help her understand that. (Lady Skank is how a very funny coworker refers to someone wearing a lot of nasty perfume.)

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  26. Once, again. What a nightmare! What else can I say? Glad you feel like you have a victory here.

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