It's that time again.... that day again... to pull out your embarassing, unexpected stories, for the sheer purpose of entertaining the rest of us.... who will wallow in it with you..... and it's fun! This week I am not so sure my confession will be unexpected, but it is definately embarrassing to me. And quite possibly a felony.
In case you're new, this is the deal. You take the opportunity to tell a true fact about yourself that people would not otherwise know because you would not tell anyone! It should be something unexpected, such as you are a former celebrity with a skinny dipping habit but now you are an employee of the Catholic Diocese. Or, maybe you have "War and Peace" on your home bookshelf but secretly read books for teenagers. You write up your little story on your blog, then enter your information into the Mr Linky thingie on the bottom of this post for the enjoyment of the rest of us. Oh yeah, and put a link in your blog back to here so people reading you can come back and read the rest.
I have been doing these the past few weeks, but am going to move to an ever- other- week schedule. So there won't be one next week, but will be another on Sept 1 (first day of school).
So I am going back and forth in my mind on how to describe this weeks event. Do I explain myself first, then go to the big reveal or do I confess, then move on to all the excuses I have made for myself. Hmmm. I think in this case I better start with the ugly circumstances that led to the crime.
It was several months into Genea's placement with us. We had never had a honeymoon period, seriously Genea woke up from her nap the day she moved in and started a meltdown that for all intents and purposes would continue for approximately a year. And the daily continuation of the meltdown often began at 5 am. Yes, FIVE AM IN THE MORNING. Sometimes earlier. I was still working and struggling to hold everything together. So I was the mom of this screeching wailing 4 year old, and a 2 year old revved up in her terrible two's.
And I was tired. So, sooooooo tired. The day of my offense I am sure Genea was up early. Probably up late too, with nightmares. The day often started with her hollering out to The Husband and I. We would then holler back at her to go back to sleep, it is only... 4 am.... 5 am.... whatever. Within seconds we could hear the pre-wail gasp begin, because it truly takes significant lung power to scream as loud as she does. Hour after hour of this every morning. (for anyone new, we tried every single thing on the planet to stop this in a nice or even neutral way, its a long story). Then the morning food meltdown. Then the incessant forcing of our attention with a variety of problems. Then of course, Teena is up as well. Teena has never been a crier. Teena is a whiner. Oh my unholy hell, this child can whine. Wow. Teena is supposed to eat her cereal but she is screwing around with the spoon and dumps it all on the floor. She got some kind of crap in her hair that won't come out, and is on her way to day care. In public. Which means I have to have her in a reasonable condition to appear outside of our home. No clean clothes. The clean clothes have food stains on them.
So I was stressed. And tired. And I had to go to work, which I did. I had a short break in between children going from one house to another and I stopped at my own house in the middle. It was right around 4 in the afternoon which is the time I always crash. For years I have hit a wall right around that time frame and I could either go to sleep for a month, or rev up with some more caffiene and keep going. This day, I had another child to see. So I HAD to keep going.
And I was sooooo tired. With a few random thoughts as to h0w I can't be a good mom if I am in a coma, and, shit this is really wrong of me, this is what happened.
I broke into Teena's little red ceramic shoe bank and stole a $20.00 and bought myself a big fat triple tall latte from Starbucks.
And I felt really bad about it. But I enjoyed the latte.