Friday, April 10, 2009

Sloth Pays

About 2 months ago, The Husband crashed and trashed his car. It was old and had a lot of miles, and we did not have insurance on it. It was towed and we let them keep it. It will not ride again. In the meantime, I had a newer car that The Husband got, being as he works and travels daily for his job and I don't.

We also had an old Sunfire that had been parked in my driveway for about 3 years. On and off he used it while the other was being repaired. The old Sunfire was on its last, final legs. We bought it used in the first place and just held on to it after getting my new car. It was worth very little, but it pissed me off. It infuriated me that The Husband let it sit there for those years. Here we are buying generic cereal and unpleasant toilet paper and there was that car rotting in the driveway when we should have sold it. Every few months I reminded him- get that car sold. He always said something brilliant like, "I can't find the title". And there the car would sit getting even less valuable every day. If anyone out there in the air thinks that I should have dealt with it myself, piss off. There are certain things in my family that are strictly assigned and that was one. I was getting more and more peeved. Now the car is being ruined by not starting it. Still we are crunching pennies and there sits several hundred dollars flapping in the wind.

So of course, everyone knows where this is going right? The Husband trashed his SUV and took my family sedan. I was without a car and now there is really no way we can just jump out the door and buy another car. So here comes the Sunfire again, a 2 door, 10 year old car. We had it towed out and fixed up and it rides again. This car is the type where nothing works but the engine. You will never know what time it is, but you can always be treated to a pretty flashing light show where the clock is. Sometimes you will get air, usually not. The volume on the radio is preset so we hope you don't mind it is a little hard to hear over the engine. I am a little concerned that the gas gauge shows the tank filling up as I drive. I am wondering about the likelihood of that being accurate. Oh- and you have to really heave the door to make sure it is closed all the way. You really want to be sure it is closed all the way.

So there you go. Leaving that car sit in the driveway for 3 years turned out to be a good decision. Well actually I guess it was a lack of decision which is an issue we have serious issues with here. And by we I do not mean me.

Anyhow, we are off tomorrow to the Bring Your Own Xanax party. Actually it is a nice little Eastery gathering with immediate family but there will be six children from ages 1 to 5. Xanax and a tequila sunrise chaser. I will be off the grid for a few days because we are at my parents and they have- get this- dial up internet and unreliable cellular service. If I try to get at any of my regular sites from their computer they take so long to load that I forget what is supposed to be happening. If the cell towers can pick up I will try to tweet a few notes over there on the right side of this here blog where it says something about twitter.


  1. I can one up that, MY parents, still have rotary...true story. Since they live so far off the grid and have phone service, it would cost more than their house to get new phone lines run.

    They live on my grandparents homestead, and when my grandma died they took her phone line, and now have two rotary lines. My aunt moved in to my grandmas house, and the phone company had to put up a cell relay and pay for her cell service because everyone has the right to a phone.

    Anyway, enjoy being off grid. I'll @essie you often, although you won't get it, until you get 50 at once. Enjoy your Xanax.

  2. How kind of you to leave us with a hilarious post just before you leave. I am eternally grateful!

    Just shoot the'll be quicker. ;-)

    I be clicking!

  3. twins separated at birth? maybe. I was just about to write about how I probably wouldn't be very prolific next week because I will be at my parents' house and they have the SLOWEST dial-up on the planet. HA! :)


  4. Rotary? Seriously? LOL! I had a friend on the Navajo reservation who never had a phone. She had to get in her car to drive to the top of a hill to use her cell phone. But in her house they still had the "hi Marge, can you get me Mildred" phones but even that wasnt until she was way older.
    Crazy! Keep me on the grid. I will sit on it if necessary!

  5. I am truly laughing out loud here at 2:45 a.m. You make my day - or night.

    Sloth does pay.


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