Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Suddenly Santa TTT #11

I remember being in kindergarten about a thousand years ago and right around Christmas, The Big Santa Question game began.

Is he? Or isn't he real?

Most of us in that little kindergarten argued the pro- Santa side. Many of us had seen him with our very own eyeballs after all, myself included. In fact at that age, it had not even occurred to me that Santa might NOT be real. All the "is he or isn't he" silliness was just that. Silliness. I heard the story. I saw the man. I got the gifts. Real!

But all it takes is one. One little shit (Scott Richter- I remember you!)in the class who argued with all of us believers. He had good points. How could Santa get down the chimney? Elves- really? Come to think of it, it would take me fifteen minutes to walk around the block. How could Santa get everywhere around the whole big world in one mere night? The concept of being lied to by my parents and tricked into the story in its entirety by people around the world? That couldn't be right either.

The thing is, in my house growing up, you only got gifts from Santa if you believed in Santa. Even as a 5 year old, I was smart enough to keep my doubts to myself. Until I was about sixteen. Actually, I'm not sure I have ever let on to my parents that I might be having a faith issue. Well anyway. This year, Santa was supposed to come and visit the kids at my sister's house, where we were scheduled to spend the holiday before The Return of Puke- a- La-Lapalooza. They were kind enough to hold a do-over day for us on Sunday, and the girls Uncle was kind enough to re- perform as Santa.

He really was very convincing. Good voice, good *ahem* size, great costume. It was genuinely hard to tell that Santa there was actually someone I know.

The girls with Uncle Santa. Aren't they pretty? Their outfits are so cute and suited to each of them perfectly. (I am tired of trying to pretend to be impassive on the issue of their cuteness. They really are darned adorable! I mean, come on! Look at them!)

So, as I have said before, Genea takes on a belief and that belief is solid. You best just get out her way. There is a Santa and therefore, there is (sorta' like me at that age *ahem*) a Santa. Teena on the other hand, is potentially the focus of someones blog post in 20 years, complaining about the little shit who blew the idea of Santa for everyone in kindergarten.

It started a few weeks ago, when Teena was behaving poorly (control your shock! pop your eyeballs back in your head!) and inquired as to the hearing abilities of Santa. She did not quite believe that Santa could hear her from the North Pole. Apparently this started an avalanche of doubt. See in the above picture? Santa is coming in the door in the afternoon. After he left, the tower of faith started to crumble into bits of logic for her, and she made little comments to me the rest of the night.
"I thought Santa is supposed to come down the chimney".
"Santa is supposed to come at night in the dark".
"I don't think that was Santa, I think that was just someone wearing a suit".


Later on, my Mom told my sister and I how her Dad would play Santa. He would come in all jolly and crap and talking about the good boys and girls, how great they were all year and such. But then, see, he had been coached ahead of time, and he would call out a kid on the bad stuff they had done too. Like he would growl, "but Michael, you have been spitting". My sister and I were so appalled that she had never shared this fabulous idea with us, that we never heard the end of the story. DANG! That was BRILLIANT! So, there is my Mom reminding me to bring "warm, long sleeved jammies" for my girls because she bought them sleeveless jammie dresses six months ago and she is tired of seeing them, they need something warm. And I am like.... huh? We wear like, 17 pounds of clothes when it is cold but ok, I'll try to remember that. She is sitting on this incredible, life changing idea about Santa, telling me it is cold outside in Wisconsin, in December!

Okay, so for Too True Tues(day), tell the story of how you found out Santa was not real. If you don't remember or if your story is dreadfully dull, tell a story about your kids and Santa. If even that leaves you yawning, tell a story about someone you heard of somewhere, and Santa! Leave a comment and link yourself to your own blog right down there (look down).


  1. Ugh..first comment and I don't have a good story. I don't remember how I found out about Santa. I do remember that I carried on the "belief" til my younger sister (11 years my junior) stopped believing..so that I could keep getting Santa gifts. I hope my kids believe forever.

    By the way...did you get my email? You won my contest...send me your address and I'll get your prize to you!

  2. The girls ARE adorable!!!!!

    Phillip Smith blew it out of the water for me in the 2nd grade. Hateful, hateful boy. I still tell him that everytime I see him to this day.

  3. Timmy Keller, the little puke next door, cued me in to the right jolly old elf's nonexistence. I cried myself to sleep believing there would be no more presents under the tree for me. I was six.
    Timmy, wherever you are, you suck donkeys.

  4. Your girls are pretty cute. Love the dresses.

    I have some funny Santa stories, but I think there are some Santa believers that peek at my blog now and then (my niece and my friend's daughter.) If I can think of a way to finesse it, I'll submit a late entry tomorrow. Shoot, I mailed my Christmas cards on Dec. 28th, so a TTT on Weds. is ahead of the game!


I love comments! If you agree or disagree, comment away! However if you are a butthead about it, you may be excised.


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