Friday, December 18, 2009

Dear So and So,

This is one of those Mr. Linky weekly things by another blogger at 3 Bedroom Bungalow to Let in Crazytown, and I am participating this week since I have a few things to say.

Dear So and So,
When you park your stupid mini cooper across 2 spots it makes me want to crush it with my fist.

Dear So and So,
It is really fun showing you girls how to do stuff like making snowflakes out of folded paper. Now that you two are obsessed with it, I am not having fun picking up tiny specks of paper that seem to fly everywhere.

Dear So and So,
Thank you for inventing the internet. Thank you for inventing online ordering and thank you for saving me from the mall. Oh yeah, and thank you for delivery people who leave stuff directly outside my door so I don't have to step even one toe outside in the cold.

Dear So and So,
If you keep pooping next to your litter box I am going to stuff rags up your butt.

Dear So and So (Starbucks)
Will you marry me?

And now for the biggie.......

Dear So and So,
You need to realize that I will be selecting your nursing home and that day will come sooner than you think. I am sure you are aware that your offspring would not notice the smell of pee if he took a bath in it. I however, have consulted in dozens, yes dozens of nursing homes and I know exactly what to look for. Who do you want to advocate for you?
Who do you think will advocate for you?
Just wondering.


Sincerely,
Me

11 comments:

  1. Ah, the so-and-so's...so many of them I'd like to write to as well. =) Nicely put!

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  2. Darn husbands, always pooping outside the litter box. What to do with them?

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  3. Sometimes a good letter written about things that irk, is the best medicine! LOL

    Merry Christmas,
    LMM

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  4. LOVE the last one! And I strongly advocate the rags up the butt thing. Nothing worse than crapping outside the litter box.

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  5. I do appreciate my ability to be subtle. It is a skill, for sure.

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  6. hhhmmmmnnnn..... I'm thinking I could send out a truly kickin' annual Christmas letter if you wrote it with that special tone. Of course I run the risk of never receiving another Christmas card. SIGH. But think of the trees we'd then be saving....

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  7. that is great and starbucks should so be looking for marriage proposals!

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  8. Total awesomeness!

    "When you park your stupid mini cooper across 2 spots it makes me want to crush it with my fist."

    That made me howl.

    And the nursing home bit? I totally get it. I might need to write one of those letters myself. Thanks for the ideer.

    ♥ Casa Hice

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