Michael Phelps (may have) Drank the Bong Water

Mr Phelps, Olympic swimming multi- gold medal winner, has been busted with a bong up his face smoking marijuana.

He has apologized, said he regrets it, it was stupid, etc. I give him credit for admitting to it straight up. I have heard plenty of public people try to say, ''uh, yeah that is me but I didn't inhale''. And I agree, that was really stupid. In my opinion though, the colossally stupid part is getting caught. Getting caught with the bong covering your mouth. Come on! This guy has been photographed all over the world. He has been hunted by reporters and 'paparazzi' everywhere he goes. He has had people live outside his house waiting to take just one photo. Stalked. Hunted. Followed. I mean, I have never seen a picture of him digging out his nose or picking his underwear out of his butt or flipping someone off. He knows enough not to do those things in front of a camera!

Dude, seriously, how are you so stupid to let someone take a picture of you toking up. Although I suppose the answer is in the question now that I think about it. You smoke some weed and you get a few really dumbassed ideas floating around your head. Something was wrong with your doobage man, it did not make you paranoid enough.

So now the talk is all about if he will be kicked out of the pool forever for this. I gotta' say, unless Couch Morphing has become an Olympic event, I don't think it should count against him. Seriously, pot is about the most performance UN-enhancing drug there is. It sure will not be making him faster in the water. Or anywhere else.

I used to see a counseling client who was convinced there was marijuana in the air. This person had seen on the news that when police confiscate drugs they burn it all in a big pile. She became sure that it was in the air all around her. It did not dissipate, it just foofed around in the air forever. Seriously, she thought this for years. Now, it is a tribute to my brilliant therapeutic skills (sarcasm) that it took me less than one hour to convince her that this particular distortion of thought was off track. If there was marijuana in the air, people would be a lot happier. There would be no road rage, no highly ambitious crime, heck maybe even no more war! The Three Stooges would still be on television because everyone would think it was funny. I, me myself, I would be asleep.