Thursday, February 19, 2009

I am afraid I must resign.

I have been forced to resign from my self appointed position as Mother Puke Warrior. I am terribly saddened by this turn of events. It tears me up to have to report this to you all, I can feel your disappointment coming through the screen.

Don't Cry For Me Argentina, the truth is I never left you, all through my wild days, my mad existence.

Genea has bronchitis. She woke up this morning and could not go to school. She had to go to the Dr., I thought it was strep again, but no. On zithromax.

We had hamburger helper for dinner. The stroganoff kind. I finished and went in to my room to pack, and I hear The Husband yelling from the kitchen.." help!!! we need help!!!! it's an emergency!!!". Sure enough. A glass of milk, a serving of hamburger helper, and some zithromax had declined the ambiance in Genea's tummy, and left the premises. Vacated the property and took up residence everywhere else. This was a LOT of puke. And it staaaank. NOT one drop was caught in any kind of container. Not a drop. On her in a big soggy chunky puddle, on the chair in between the cushion and the frame, on her place mat, on the tablecloth, on the floor which is parquet wood with lots of channels for stuff to get stuck in.

Nothing like reinforcing Mama's need for a BIG HUGE BREAK!!! Oh my UNholy HELL!

I have a whole loaded iPod, with all the episodes that I have missed recently. And my other favorite, * Gay Pimpin' with Johnny McGovern that I never get to listen to anymore because each episode is 2-3 hours long (2-3 hours longer than I have to sit and listen) but freaking hysterical. I miss diversity here in Wonder-bread- land. I miss going to clubs cuz I am ahem, of other ages. So I have like 20 hours of podcasts to catch up on and I think it will take each stinking hour to counter today.

And, to top it all off, I can no longer call myself Mother Warrior of Puke, I must demote myself to Mother Scrubber of Puke. Sigh. Airplane, take me away!!!!

*note that particular podcast is graphic and explicit.


  1. sorry to hear that, how horrible. but you know what your dear hubby will have a lovely weekend if Genea is sick everywhere.... You should maybe tell him that you can rent carpet cleaners! (if you have carpets, we don't which is wonderful for pee, poop and vomit!)
    I hope you have a lovely weekend and that Genea is feeling better soon. Did you ever find out what Teena ate that day to make her ill?? nice to see you are on line at the same time as me again, its Friday here and i guess Thursday there. strange. enjoy your break! don't for get the charger for you ipod, do you have a wall charger? i hope so.

  2. You're totally going to have to come to my first ever Awesomeness Conference in Vegas later this year. It's going to be all awesome things that can't happen in Wonderbread land. Homegirl is bringing the smokes.

  3. I forgot to subscribe to comments, so I had to come back.

  4. Paula, I am totally useless with numbers and time changes and all that, It is Thursday evening here. That is all I know. I do have a pod charger. We have some carpet, but puke could only improve it honestly!
    I am totally going to the Awesomeness Conference. Just gimme the days.

  5. Your crown will surely be reinstated. Plus after you get back from your trip you might have many more crowns waiting on you. ;-0

  6. I love your husband - sounds just like mine. Never any thought of handling it himself, at all.... Nope.

    Glad you have a sense of humor! At least.


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