Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Too True Tues #8

Wow, there have been 8 of these now! I want to let everyone know that I got to read every one's posts last time, but because I was out of town and on an alien computer, may not have gotten the chance to comment. But they were all great- hilarious how many people said they would either buy a new house/ vacation home, or pay someone to clean the house they have LOL!

This week I have a funny story, so I am going to wrap TTT around it. The topic is... a funny or embarrassing story where your kids have been the funny and you were the embarrassed.

This story did not happen to me. *ahem* It happened to some poor woman at the airport when we were on our trip last week. We'll call her, Some Poor Woman and just abbreviate SPW. She had a small child with her, about 4 years old and I believe her name was Schmeena. Yes, that sounds right. Schmeena.

So I guess that SPW must have been trying to relax for a single solitary freaking second when her daughter probably noticed and piped up that she needed to GO POTTY NOW! Then I am guessing, her other daughter piped up and said ME TOO, because her older daughter ALWAYS has to go as soon as her sister has to go. SPW was (apparently) so hopped up on Starbucks that the last time she peed, she actually could feel more pee processing and on its way as she was eliminating the original pee. That is a lot of Starbucks but folks, SPW was desperate, tired, and wishing she had an illegal drug habit. So she dragged her weary ass up off the crummy, crusty airport furniture, where she just wanted to rest for a second, to take Schmeena to the crummy crusty airport potty.

(Actually, O'Hare has awesome potties with rotating automatic plastic seat covers and you never have to touch anything with your hands so I am not sure what SPW was so bitchy about).

Anyway, in the teeny potty room, SPW let her daughter Schmeena go first of course. SPW realized that she had another shot of Starbucks refunding and decided to go potty too. As SPW was positioning herself and Schmeena was supposed to be paying attention to her own clothes, everyone in the bathroom, in O'Hare airport, and quite possibly all of Chicago heard Schmeena exclaiming at the top of her very loud little voice....

"Look Mama!!!! You have HAIR on your BUTT!!!!"
I can hear that poor SPW hissing at her child "be quiet! please! be quiet" to which the child replied....
"Why Mama? You didn't know you had hair on your butt?"
That poor SPW began to beg..... "please Schmeena please, yes I know, we just don't need to talk about it right now" at which point Schmeena stage whispered...... "Does all big people have hair on their butts?"
I can only imagine SPW trying to finish her potty and regain her clothing and composure without Schmeena commenting further. I have to imagine it, because like I said, this happened to Some Poor Woman and not me.

If that ever happens to me, I'll be more prepared. Maybe get me a Brazilian!

So there you go. TTT#8 is a funny story where your kids embarassed you. Or maybe Some Other Poor Woman. Here is the linky business:

Go forth and embarass!


  1. Well, I personally, just think SPW ought to be thanking her lucky stars that this was not in the SCHOOL restroom - or her CHURCH restroom. I should think a large, anonymous restroom in a distant city is JUST the place for such a thing to occur, if it must.

  2. OMG I about fell off my chair laughing! And yes, I have been SPW too many times to remember. Just be glad you don't have a boy who loudly demands to know where your 'toot' went and did the doctor cut it off.....

  3. this was great - we were in private so it wasn't that embarrassing but i was playing light sabers with my 7 yr old son and i hit him on the leg, and he yells MOM, YOU CUT MY NUTS OFF! and i say to him WHERE DID YOU HEAR THAT? and he replies IT DOESN'T MATTER B/C NOW I'M CUTTING OFF YOUR BAGINA. oh kids. found you from i love bacon? i think. love your writing and now following!

  4. Just be glad she didn't exclaim that the carpet doesn't match the drapes.

  5. Oh, that is too funny!! I haven't had time to read blogs lately, and I have really been missing getting my laughs from you!


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