Saturday, November 28, 2009

Poop Loops

Ok, so Thanksgiving is what it is. Once again this year, the world failed to bend to my wishes and provide me with a turkey free buffet of food. Stupid world. However, somehow a magical plate of ham appeared next to me during dinner and so I was able to have my ham and eat it too. And a bunch of other stuff.

Do your kids do this? Last week Teena informed me "you should always try Mama. Even if you don't like somefing you should always try because if you keep trying it you might like it a- cuz now I like beans". She says, with bean juice dripping off her chin dimple. Mmmmm hmmm. Thanks for the tip Teena. I have only been saying that for the past 5 flipping years! EVERY day, for FIVE years, up to THREE times a day! But whatever Teena, sounds good. She also told us we should be trying to eat healthy things that are good for our bodies. Mmmm. Really. Thank you public school. Now she is going to think chips are a bad thing for lunch. If she turns up her nose at pizza puffs it could get bad. She is going to be one skinny little student I tell you.

Actually what is funny, I think, is that here in Wisconsin they tell you things like milk and butter and cheese are healthy foods of value. A "value add" for the body. Right. Since when is butter something good for you? Only here in this state.

So Thanksgiving at my parents house was a lot of fun. Cousin Unabitch was fairly well behaved. She would drop little insults at me "you really better hope your kids don't turn out like you ha ha" and then turn and peel off with laughter at how hilarious her stupid ass is. I rolled my eyes several times, which I believe was in stride with her level of immaturity. Oh yeah, speaking of immature....

*Petty and i mmature warning* I am going to be mean* REAlly mean and RUDe too*** Awful!!!! Don't look if you might be appalled***

BAAAAH ha ha, I think she gained more weight. Mean, horrible of me. I KNOW! But for the love of cabbage the woman was wearing a knit dress! KNIT! Come ON! Every roll and bulge could be seen from outer space!

The best part of the day involved my little nephews. My girls and my sisters boys are all tangled together age -wise. Genea is 6, First Nephew is 5, Teena is 4 and Next Nephew is 3. So they are a riot together and manage to sound as if there are 13 children in the house. Anyhow, the boys got hold of some dress up bead necklaces. The kind that are really inexpensive plastic. They are shiny and sparkly and all different pastel colors. They had all been throwing the beads around for a good half hour. Up in the air, across the floor, at each other etc. Teena started that one to be fair. At home she will throw beads in the air and watch them land, then tell me what shape it makes or if it looks like a giraffe or a fork or something. But, Teena is not responsible for the next part. At which time the boys started dropping beads from their butts and screaming in the strident voices of little boys everywhere, "we're pooping we're pooping we're pooping"!!!! Within seconds the girls were pooping beads too. Then a grandma got in there and pointed out that if they are doing this they should be doing it right, and showed them how to dispense of the poop beads in a more genuine way. Reassessed their props and organized the poop loops. Now there are dozens of people making poop loops and beads splattering everywhere. It was SO FUNNY!

Maybe you had to be there.


  1. Gotta love family at the holidays! That's a great story!

  2. Hm....perhaps so. But you had fun (and ham!) that's the main thing!

  3. Fun times! Gotta love bathroom humor!

  4. HA! Sounds like our house! =) There's always some kid talking about poop at any given time. =)

  5. I am loving that Grandma got in on the action, boy snad popp jokes go hand in hand, apparently for grandma too! lol

  6. Are you sure that wasn't MY boys at your parents house???? I may have to teach them this game....

  7. Gotta love those relatives from hell. I have a SIL who is Satan's minion. She screams at her kids to eat EVERYTHING ON YOU PLATE! NO! YOU MAY NOT LEAVE THE TABLE UNYIL YOU EAT YOUR BEETS!
    She also has a fun habit of correcting Italian-born waiters' pronunciation of Italian dishes. I keep hoping they'll poison her food.

  8. LOL Kids!
    My nephew really fell hard for that whole "eat healthy" thing they push at his school. What's the world coming to?

  9. Hmmm. And, here I thought MY family was crazy.

  10. Yeah it was a pretty mild holiday as these things go! But next up is Christmas, and we get Cousin Payola this year. He and Cousin Unabitch are sibs and their parents moved 1200 miles away. No wonder!

  11. We always talk about poop here! I will admit that I am the instigater too.


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