Friday, March 4, 2011

The Last Time I Went Away

Hey all y'all! I am throwing a re-run out there for fun. This is a post from just before a trip I took to Los Angeles a couple of years ago. I went to hear Heather Forbes speak on her Beyond Consequences, Logic and Control parenting style. It was a one day thing, but I'm pretty sure I managed to stretch it into 3 days. Maybe 4. Anyway, here is a post I wrote prior to leaving. I should say, things were a little different then and attitudes have changed.


I have been planning a trip by myself for about 3 years now. Ever since The Husband was curiously unable to avoid some avoidable business trips starting about 3 years ago, I have been planning a trip for myself. By avoidable I mean no one was pulling his fingernails off or threatening death by dismemberment with child safe scissors. In my opinion, that means the trips were not mandatory. Unfortunately, I had no business that required travel. And really no business that required travel to anyplace interesting. The western shore of Lake Michigan does not count.

The Husbands favorite phrase is this: It's no big deal. It's no big deal to be alone all weekend with a baby. It's no big deal to travel for work. It's no big deal to have to do everything by yourself. It's no big deal to go someplace by yourself. Uh huh, yes he did. And a year and a half ago when child number 2 walked through the door, he committed the offenses again. And yet with all that confidence he has, he has never spent one entire day with the kids by himself.

And I have a long memory.
Heh Heh heh.

I finally have somewhere to go. For 4 days.

Heh heh heh.

So this weekend, I am going *gasp* off the grid and traveling myself to California to attend a Beyond Consequences seminar. The Husband will have the girls all to himself the whole weekend. Heh heh heh.

I have not done anything extra to set them up for the weekend. I did not do extra shopping. I did not pre-cook meals. I did not list out activities they could do. The Husband is not a total idiot and will be able to care well for the girls.

But it would be a lie if I said I hope it all goes great. Secretly, I hope they nail him to the wall. He has a big mouth and I have been waiting for a chance to let him learn by experience, exactly how draining these kids can be. And, how stressful it is when you are the only one and no one is coming to help you. And how jumbled your brain gets when you realize you have only been up for 2 hours and it feels like the day should be almost over already.

Secretly I hope they are demanding and self centered. I hope they whine and get on each others nerves.

Secretly, I hope to find him laying flat on his face in front of the nearest Catholic church, begging someone to call the Vatican about Damiens twin sisters. To schedule an exorcism.

If Teena pee's on her undies 3 times in one day and runs out of clean undies, well, they will just have to do laundry. I have not prepared their clothing for them. And, I haven't done laundry this week so things are running low. There is enough if you know what you are doing. Secretly, I hope they run out and he has to dig through the basket to pull out their nasty pee clothes and wash them.

So the secret is, I want the girls to act the way they normally do. no better, no worse. Their average. Heh heh heh. I want The Husband to have this experience in all its glory. I will leave out the phone book open to the churches page.

So, there you go. I may or may not feel the same way now. Ahem. 


  1. I have always felt the same way, when going away. I have gone by myself (to my elderly mother's house so not really a break for me), and the husband has had to take care of two girls on his own, I have taken them both with me (which makes me think he got the better end of that deal), or taken one of them with me and he's had to watch one.

    He usually does okay, but I have clothes planned out so he just has to give them clothes to get dressed in. I have read a blog where the mom plans all the meals out and all the dad has to do is heat them up. I don't do that either.

    The first time my husband watched them on his own for a few days he did well but was really tired afterwards. I had to secretly laugh cause I take care of them like you do all day long, etc. But I think he got a better understanding of what it is like to take care of them. So he was prepared a couple of weeks ago when the cold bug came through our house on his week off of vacation and he had to take care of the girls, cook, bathe them, take them to/from school, do homework with them, etc. He was tired and then he got sick right before he had to go back to work. I think he was secretly ready for me to take over again, LOL.

    Hope you have a nice trip and all goes well for your husband.


  2. Well said.

    I like your evil giggle.

    Heh Heh Heh.


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