Thursday, March 10, 2011

Burning up on Re-entry

Hoooo- weeeeee. I am back from Orlando. It was fun and fabulous and I thought it would be a great idea to just stay. Forever. I tried to find out what the "squatting" laws are in Florida, but never got the chance. Just as well I suppose, there are mosquito's there that could carry off my cats.

So, as with every vacation, there is the pain of re-entry into regular life. Or, you know, the joy. Ahem.

This little vacation was a solo trip, ala no family. To stay in a pretty little villa with a group of glorious moms, and bunches of other moms staying in other villas close by. Women who's families are like mine, affected by adoption, traumatized children and attachment disorders. We bonded, and I laughed so hard at one point that no sound could come out. All I could do was shriek like a duck trying to catch my breath. We cried, and I swear my face turned purple by the end of the night. (I mean, I like purple but not as a skin color). Powerful. Intense. Profound.

As we were leaving town to go to the airport, we decided to go to one of the myriad curios (curios is Latin for tacky crap) stores to pick up little gifts for our family and friends. I went in with the idea that I would grab something cute for the girls. There was tons of Disney stuff, which was perfect because despite my best efforts my kids are princess obsessed. Naturally some stuff was cheap and gross but there were also some nice clothes and I spent a lot of time debating over Tinkerbell hoodies, Tiana jammies, and Minnie Mouse attire.

Tick tick tick, time goes by and I am struggling to find something that A. I can live with B. comes in the sizes I need and C. comes in a price that is not equal to the national debt. Corey (Mistress of Events) said we had fifteen minutes and by bloody jingo that woman will leave your ass right there in a pile of curios if you try to extend to sixteen minutes. Starting to panic a bit I was, until I had an Oprah Aha Moment. Similar to the explosion of a light bulb smashed into concrete.

If I buy my girls a bunch of Disney stuff they are going to want to know how I came across such items when all I did was go to Florida. See, I was deliberately vague when I told them about my trip ahead of time. Florida, I said. I am going to Florida with my knitting group. No, no, honey I am sorry, kids aren't allowed in Florida. Lucky for me they are in public school and so no way were they going to make the connections from Florida, to Orlando, to DISNEY PRINCESSES WALKING THE STREETS.

If I bring them home a bunch of Disney stuff they are going to think I told them a big fat lie and did not go to visit with knitting kninja's, but went instead to "It's a Small World" to knit, and play jenga with Ariel and Belle and left them behind. It occurs to me that this can only be bad. Thankfully I had this realization and was able to race out of the store, empty handed, in time to get back in the van so as not to have to walk to the airport.

Once in the airport I had some time to kill so I perused the available curios that had since been jacked up in price by 40% (or you know, something like that). I finally decided on two little palm tree's that the girls can slowly kill by refusing to listen to me about watering, or yanking out the stems to see if it has roots.

On the plane I am a little sad and at the same time a little excited to see my girls. I did miss the little buggers. Although they had no time to miss me since their Daddy took them to: Olive Garden, the buffet, Sonic, bowling, the air-jumpy place, a movie, to Milwaukee, and made no effort to conceal the fact that he bribed the snot out of them to obtain peace when he wanted it. I made little cards for each daughter, one for every day I would be gone and they had so much fun they had to be reminded to open them. Mmmmkay.

Waiting for my baggage to be hurled from the mystery chute onto the spinney carousal thing, I see my husband and daughters walking in the doors. SO SWEET! They came in to welcome me home- they must have missed me too!

Well, not really. Teena had to go potty. The three of them stood and stared at me a second, then started off looking for a toilet. Cool. But first I directed the girls to come and give me a damn hug, which they did and as I am holding them close and loving the feel of their little selves and telling them how I missed them Teena says...... "what did you bring us?". Hand to God, those were the first words out of her sassy little mouth. Mmmmkay, just go find the bathroom kid.

I got my bag off the flying carousal and waited. Here they come, and now the girls are smiling big smiles and jogging a little, in that way kids do when they know they are supposed to use walking feet but they want to get there really fast. OH! They are so cute! And they get closer and closer and I brace myself for the impact of them both for a big gigantic bear hug! And Teena stops short by about 2 feet of me and Genea copies her and waits, and I am thinking they must have planned this move in the potty together because Teena says, and I quote:

"Moms and Dads who go away bring their kids something when they come back".


Well I did, but hell if she was going to get it after that little comment! My response was, "they do???? Come give me a hug!". And that's, the end.

Silly little palm trees survived however long in a crap and junk store in Florida, they'll be fine in the bag for a day or two.

But they did miss me, they really did. I missed them too.


  1. SOOO glad you were able to get away with the ladies for a few days!! Orlando looks like it was a blast! Those of us going to the Utah retreat are anxiously awaiting our turn.

    Why not just put those lovely palm trees in the kitchen window and tell them you brought them YOU home from the trip and these trees are your reminder of your trip?

  2. i intentionally didn't bring anything home. it was a weekend for me and only me. i need to be allowed to think about and do for only me. so I did. WG understood completely. AB didn't care and Sissy had already been in bed - early for raging.

  3. Yet you have a lovely trophy..

  4. You are such a great mom to go to so much trouble. J didn't get that lucky. Her present was me. She probably wanted to send me back to get the good stuff. :D

  5. Ha! Nice catch. I also specifically did NOT bring back anything Disney. I brought candy. Not just any candy but chewy, sticky, takes forever-to-eat Salt Water Taffy. I know how to buy a few minutes of peace at my house, yes I do... It was great meeting you. :)

  6. Mine had to make amends with dad before that got anything, it bought me a few hours... Mine think there must always be something in my bag as well. It was such a good weekend, how many days till next year?

  7. jenga with ariel. i snarfed my drink. sounds like a wonderful trip.

    i get to see corey next week and can't wait.

    i think souveniers are overrated. :)

  8. PS. I lost your blog. Happy I just found it again. Can I link to you?

  9. Aahk! I'm so jealous. No laughing here in Lansing.


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