Wednesday, May 26, 2010

You are SO going to wish you had my life!

In the morning The Husband gets up with Genea, feeds her, waters her, yells out constant time reminders and drives her to school. This guarantees that he gets up, feeds and waters himself, and gets out the door to work at a reasonable hour. Teena stays asleep a lot and that helps quite a bit to keep the maneuvering down to a minimum. Often, The Husband puts Teena in bed with me and they leave. Generally though, the process wakes Teena up just enough that when The Husband leaves, she begins poking me. Literally poking me. This is something she finds hysterically funny. Me, not so much. But she considers this her special extra fun playtime until I get to the point where I am ready to chew off an arm for her to poke at if it will just make her be quiet and that's when I head off for the coffee pot.

This morning though, I had drifted back to sleep when I heard "Maaaaaaaaaama" coming from downstairs. I thought that could not be right, so I ignored it. Again..... "Maaaaaaaaaamaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa".  Well, I get irritated with the girls who think nothing of shrieking across the entire house in tones indicating an emergency has occurred, so I snapped back at her "WHAT?".

"I have poop on my foot!"

Oh. bloody. hell. Please. no.

Our cats have been sick lately. Want to know why? Because The Husband bought them the wrong food. He bought the same brand of food, but a different type. He bought the blue bag any cat kind instead of the green bag fussy little old man cat kind because the store was out of the green bag kind (maybe they would like to sanitize my house, that would teach them to maintain their inventory more responsibly!). And so...... they have become averse to their litter box. I should say averse to the inside of their litter box, because they are leaving their wares within a 24 inch radius of the box. Which would be, on the floor.

What was Teena doing downstairs alone, without notifying anyone? She wanted to wave goodbye to her Daddy. Awe, that is so sweet. Fact is though, she can't see him and he can't see her once they are in the car. Nice try though. And pray tell Teena, what were you doing in the hall where the cat boxes are? Practicing my jumping, she says.

So there I am, in the throes of my amazing life. First thing in the morning, glasses on, haven't even pee'd yet. No coffee in me. None. None at all. Prying cat diarrhea out from between my daughters toes. Amazing how much stuck to her foot. Even more amazing when you note that she tracked it up and down the hall, over the throw rugs, on the tiles, etc.

Uh huh, yup, I know you are jealous. I know it!

17 comments:

  1. Motherhood is sooo glamorous. I often feel I should be in a movie, played by Jennifer Garnier, who someone once said a look (a little) like so I cling to it. But she'd have to un-color and un-highlight her hair, and I bet there's something in her contract about that.

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  2. LOL, I am green with envy :)

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  3. You know what, lol, the same thing happened to us....only it wasn't a child who stepped in the dog poo, it was the dad who came downstairs bleery eyed, sans contacts or glasses to get baby a bottle. Glamorous? lol

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  4. this is why i am not into animals anymore. i have enough kiddie poo to clean up after

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  5. Happy Cat Poop Cleaning Holiday! LOL!!

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  6. Thank goodness I don't have pets. (Other than one small hamster who surely will be dead soon.)

    So jealous of your glamorous life. :)

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  7. Can't we just trade for one day? Pretty pleeeeeease? You know you wanna. I finally got rid of the cat that kept peeing on everything, and guess what? She doesn't pee on her new owner's stuff.

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  8. yep jealous for sure but you will be way more jealous of me stepping in pet puke in the dark the other night in my BARE FEET

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  9. Well; this stuff gives you good blog fodder...that is the great thing about certain otherwise really disturbing things; you can write about them later.

    I say this with authority as the woman who sat on her porch waiting for the police to drop her daughter off, actually considering getting the camera out to record the moment for her blog-sisters.

    That is one of my basest confessions and you heard it here.

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  10. Sorry girl!! I'm laughing hysterically though!!! I can just imagine her looking up at you saying "practicing my jumping"!! My hubbs thinks I'm psycho now since I'm laughing so hard I'm crying!!!

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  11. Yes I am jealous! All that sanitary poo-picking-up with bags that have holes half the time or the poo explosions of the boy and I'm starting to see a theme emerging in this whole motherhood thing...

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  12. Oh my goodness... I would have just had to go back to bed!

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  13. Jealous? No! I'm so crazy happy to read about someone else poop issues that my day is now complete. There are times in this household that I am convinced if someone lit a match we would go up in a Methane cloud.

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  14. Ha ha, I have been know to say, nothing else can come into this house unless it can take care of itself.

    The Husband is more clear- if it poops it is not welcome. LOL!

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  15. Oh Nasty! Maybe it was better you didn't have any coffee in you. A nice haze might lessen the nastiness. I have been known to say the only four-legged thing welcome in my house is a chair.....and yet we have a new puppy. I am such a sucker!

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  16. Yup, the first thing we always consider in these situations is "where all did you walk?" So fun.

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  17. I have followed the cry of "Maaaaaama" to find that my son has fished cat poop OUT of the litter box. Good times.

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