Friday, April 23, 2010

The Curse (not that one)

Everyone knows about The Blog Curse right? The one where as soon as you say something positive is happening The Fates turn and spit a smokers loogie directly in your eye?  Sigh. Allow me to quote myself....

"I don't covet much. I'd love a Corvette and a beach house. Oh, and a team of nanny's and maids. Otherwise, meh, we're barely squeaking by but we are squeaking".

Dear Blog Fates, I am so so sorry for my presumptive attitude and irresponsible keyboarding behavior. It was late! I was tired! My keyboard mis-clicked! We're not squeaking by, I swear it. We are so poor I served the children twigs for dinner and mmmmm yummy, everyone loved it because it was so much better than the asphalt I served the night before.

We have two cars in our family, a 5 year old car and an 11 year old car. You can read about the many dysfunctions in the older car here . It's pretty funny if I do say so myself, the Car Fates chose an interesting combination of features to break. Anyway, so we decided  (coincidentally almost exactly one year ago) to drive the old car to the grave. We would only put enough money into repairs to keep it limping, then we would call Dr. Kevorkian. And then get a newer, functional car with stuff that works.

But no. I had to go and tempt the Blog Fates to point fingers and laugh after giving me a good ol' fashioned bitch slappin'. Yesterday The Husband called from a local gas station to tell me the car had died after he filled it up and he was stuck. I won't go into the many things he thought might be wrong as opposed to the one thing I thought was probably wrong and was right *ahem*, but suffice to say we no longer have squeaking room. The repairs are just enough to cost a bunch but not enough to give it up and buy something else in better condition.



  1. I think sacrifices require bloodshed. And/or virgins.

  2. At least the car will already have a full tank of gas once it emerges from the repair shop. :-)

    While I'm sure there isn't a great deal of humor in the real situation, I do admit to laughing quite heartily as I read this post. I'm certain that is because I could relate so well to it. We had a car that was forever in the shop when we were college students. Bless those people, they actually quit charging us for repairs once the "for sale" sign went in the window! Yeah for good people! Yeah for the suckers who finally bought the car and took over the repairs!

    I also well remember the day my DH called me at work and told me he'd wrecked his car...the very car I had married him for (or so we joke!) It was a 1980 powder blue Ford Fairmont station wagon. A full size, mammoth station wagon that had previously been his mother's Avon delivery vehicle. Her name was Bessie the Blue Beast. Some little old lady had the audacity to run a red light and take Bessie down. Can you believe that?

    When the hubs called to tell me the car was totaled, one might think I was sad and on the verge of tears. Much to my surprise, I was quite elated. Hubs was fine, so there were no worries there. But the car, dang...I was finally rid of the old girl! I actually CHEERED when he told me she was totaled! We had already replaced the other repair hog with a much more reliable by then. The 2nd vehicle was nice to have, but we were at a point we could survive without it so it wasn't an overwhelming loss when she got wrecked.

    The best part about this story, however, is what happened after that. The car was only worth $500 on a good day. So, we wrote a sappy letter to the lady's insurance and easily got $400. They didn't even send an adjuster or anything. They just cut us a check. (Wish other incidents would have been that easy!!) We then sold what was left of Bessie for $100 to a guy who wanted to drive her in a demolition derby. She was still plenty drivable and still had lots of power left in her. It was just that the cost to repair her and make her street legal drivable after the accident FAR exceeded her monetary value. So, she was done.

    We sold her on the condition that the guy would tell us when he was driving her so we could come and watch. He did, and we did. In fact, we took the rest of the family with us, too! While everyone else in the stands cheered for their favorite driver, we all cheered for our name, too! It was a hoot! She fought to the end and finally went down in a blaze of glory. By the time she was done, she was no longer Bessie the Beast, she was Bessie the Metro. I'm sure she eventually made some fine scrap metal as well.

  3. *snicker*

    Laughing with you at the blog curse. The reality of the situation sucks.

    At least if you get a different ride, your daughter's stalker might not know who you are right away.

  4. thats funny. we are running our cars into the ground also waiting for them to die. One is 10 years old and the other is 8 years but we have driven the 8 year old car from coast to coast 2x. It has an astronomical amount of mileage on it.

  5. yes the blog fates, I wonder if they as nasty looking as the fates in Disney's Hercules movie... maybe they all share an eye too.

    We are also waiting for our 4 wheeled transportation device ( don't want to tempt the fates by saying the word) to self combust so we can buy a new one. We are also squeking by and can not buy a new one but when it dies it will be dead... I can't tempt the fates and say any more than that on the internet though because I do not want to have sacrifice my first born.... well maybe somedays I do - lol

  6. At least it had a full tank of gas - you'd think with the price of that precious liquid, it would appease the blog Fates somewhat.

  7. Oh, I so hear you. As soon as we think we might have a little extra to sock away (never to spend on anything frivolous like a sewing room for me! or a new camera that I desperately want!) just a little bit extra--something comes along to humble us. Like the broken water pressure tank last month....crap, another check I forgot to write!

  8. You know, I was drawn to that comment....since I wouldn't say we are even squeaking, I was envious, actually.

    And now look.

    Craig and I had a big fight last night - well maybe not "big" but certainly long and drawn out, because he said with his "first paycheck" (from a temporary job, mind you), he was going to repair the handle of the back door of the van which he now drives. What???!!! When I drove that thing for a YEAR with the handle broken, and with that actually being a door we USED!!? No one rides with him ordinarily. He just doesn't like the "look" of a broken door handle. Well, I didn't either!

  9. I just HATE anything mechanical. Encopresis, RAD, problem...Computer troubles?? Car troubles??? Then I'm a wreck!

  10. See, I would have thought filling the gas tank was like a blood sacrifice... but I dare not presume...

    Diana that's hilarious! I wish I could have been there!

    I want to grow up and have adult cars now! Before these kids showed up we had awesome cars. Leather interior, heated seats. Now? Not.

    Stalker lives directly across the street. He knows what we drive.

    Sucks to have no camera, no van door handle and one car in a family. At least the thing can be repaired I suppose. The mileage is around 150,00 which I think is a lot for a Pontiac Sunfire.

    Debatable though, I might pick car problems over encopresis!

  11. We learned the hard way to stop tempting fate. We used to say stupid things like, "at least it can't get any worse," or "things will be better as soon as we get through ________________." "I'm sure we can handle this based on our training/ experience..."

    Mary in TX

  12. I'm with you. We drive our's to death and it seems like every time we have a problem it is a $600 problem. Get out the Gorilla Glue and keep on rolling! If duct tape, Gorilla Glue and a coat hanger can't fix it then it is really broken!

  13. Oh that stinkin Reality Fairy gets me every time. Just when I start to relax, WHAMMO, the beeyatch smacks me cold upside the head. Can't life just be a little predictable once in a while?

  14. Um...I'm sorry....I know I'm shallow but I could not get past the "smokers loogie." I'm gagging here.

  15. Fuel pump? If it is, you can send the bill to the refinery who processed the gas. Big problem here. Ask the mechanic if there have been a lot of fuel pumps going bad lately.

    Also, sacrificing virgins? Do they still have virgins?


    DO NOT talk about money in front of the appliances. If extra money is ever found and the appliances over hear, bad things happen.


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