Thursday, June 4, 2009

No post title

I am a lawn chair. Both of my girls just loooooooooooove to sit right on me as if I were a lawn chair. If one is there already, the other squishes herself in as tight as possible next to me to wait her turn. Here is where the problem is. Inevitably, touching occurs. Yes, the dreaded, painful practically lethal touching. As in, "she's touching me", but you have to imagine it being shrieked in the nasalized shrill of a child in the throes of the agony of having been, of course, touched by the other. The dance of criminal level touching cannot be complete without the wordless whine. How does one commit that sound to mere words? Letters, meaningless shapes on paper just cannot describe that sound. Mere phonics, useless.

NNhhhimmaaaaaah WAAAAAAghnuuuuuh EH MaaaaaaamAAAAAA!!!

UUUUnnnmmmuaaaaaaaaaah. GooowaaaaaAAAAH! NEEEEEEEEEEHHH annnggggguuuuuuuuh.

MaaMA MAAAAMmmaaaaaaaaaa mamAAAAAAA!!!!

(Is something on fire? Is Freddy Krueger ringing the doorbell? Has a pig just flown past the window? Is it suddenly very VERY cold?)

Commence fake crying.

Ahuh Ahuh Ahuh waaaAAAH

No actual leaking eyes will be joining us.


Really, I have very little sympathy as I sit here wearing two, count 'em TWO, 98.6 degree blankets.


  1. Woman you seriously crack me up. Have you thought about a side job of stand up comedy???

  2. Ugh! I can't imagine but it sounds rough! I hear "WHAT????" a thousand times a day from my son. The problem? His sister was looking at much fun!

  3. Ah, the love between siblings... lol

  4. Yes! I know that experience! I understand those sounds. Well described, too, if I may say so.

  5. See, I was all ready for adopting two unrelated kiddos and fielding the (uninformed) questions about "Are they really sisters?" with the answer, "Well, they fight in the back seat of the car."

    I think your post today does just as well. ;>


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