Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Tourette's Syndrome and the Library

Attention grabbing title hey?

We went to a different library for a story time, Teena and I, much smaller and more diverse. Unfortunately it looked like a day care was there for the story too. The first time we went, was to the library that, well, let's just say Brett Favre's kids would have been there if they hadn't so suddenly picked up and moved to New York.

This was a different library, and there were 2 or 3 adults that appeared to be in charge of about 9 kids. These were not your average 9 kids either. 2 of them, named STOP-IT-DEVIN and KNOCK -IT-OFF-PAUL fought most of the way through. Not ordinary kid fighting, but real, in the ring, Mike Tyson, gonna bite off your ear hard core fist fighting. Another boy we'll call The Perp actually picked up another little girls skirt from behind and she never noticed. There was one little boy who sat in between 2 of the staff who yelped every 4 seconds or so unless he was being fed a green tic tac (great example of Bribe and Threaten child care). Then there was a little girl who said YAH YAH YAH every time the yelp-yelp boy got going louder. She had to sit on the other side of the adults. All the other kids were on a rug together, and there were several other children who were there with parents as well as Teena and I.

This was a rockin' story time, holy crap! I was alternately watching to see what would happen when the tic tac supply ran out, and making sure ThePerv was not anywhere near my daughter. When the tic tacs ran out, (he must have been chewing them, they only brought half a box but still went through them really fast) the boy who I think probably has Tourette's got progressively louder, and his yelping pattern became much quicker and everyone is politely trying to ignore him and the other little girl who is YAH-ing and suddenly he gets up and lurches forward but the staff person grabbed him by the shirt and contained him. By now, the story has stopped because you could not hear it anymore anyway. The reader-lady was really good about getting the kids attention and moving into a song or dance when it got too loud. None of this seemed to bother the kids at all.

Is it weird that I wanted to knock out The Perp for looking up some other little girls skirt? He had to be about 5 years old, old enough to know he should not do that, and old enough to be deciding he would do it anyway. I wanted to reach out and smack him but settled for monitoring him closely and ready to give him the stink-eye if he even looked at me or my kid. Ready to jump in and snatch my child out of harms way if need be.

Wouldn't you know, in the end none of it mattered, and my efforts to protect my child's innocence, purity and under-garments were useless. Or maybe the word is pointless. Teena pulled up her dress herself and announced to all the fascinated participants, that she is wearing MISS KITTY UNDIES TODAY!

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