Yesterday I yelled at my kids for so long my throat hurt when I was finally done.
I didn't scream and it was not an out -of -control thing. It was not a rage. I just yelled. I yelled long and I yelled loud.
I have done nicey- nice voice to death. I have been understanding. Compassionate. I have listened and supported. I have tried to compromise. I have tried to fulfill needs that appear never- ending. I have been present during rages. I have been calm. I have been loving and affectionate. Been to my happy place and stayed (mostly) regulated. I have been in the moment. I have listened to the fear instead of the words. I have responded to the intention instead of the action. I have jacked up the positive. Ignored the negative.
I have breathed in. And out.
Not only do I have one child who goes from 0-60 in one single second but now I have another child who thinks that is how you get stuff done around here.
I remember reading an article a few years back about yelling at your kids. It was full of scathing remarks like "indulging in your anger will scar your children for life". "Raising your voice to children teaches them to be serial killers "(not an exact quote but you get the idea). So anyway, Teena especially was being a screeching brat yesterday. Remember The Exorcist? I would not have been surprised had she walked up the stairs backwards and upside down. Seriously! Well take THAT Parent Magazine. I'm sure they never interviewed Regan's twin sisters for any article they ever wrote suggesting that allowing your frustration to show as a parent makes your kids think they are bad and will lead to life long eating disorders (my personal fear for Genea in particular). I don't need a parenting magazine anyway, I need to call the archdiocese.
Listen, I was a great parent before I had kids. I really rocked this shit.
And I am not saying I am proud of myself..... but it did feel good.
(Before anyone gets their commenting fingers in a bunch yes I know this was not a good thing and I very well could have set us back by having my little fit and I should have been able to be the adult, put on my big-girl panties, and suck it up. I know. I do not claim to be Super Mom, only Generally Adequate Mom on Most Days).
Regan...lol. You know, I think most parents have moments like (or days) like that and if they dont well..they are either lying or extremely rare.:)
ReplyDeleteI *seriously* need to have your email address. And your home phone number. Maybe your home address. I'll bring coffee. Because there is just not enough SPACE here in the comments for the amount of SNARK I need to share with you, Sister... I am in a massive fit o' giggles...
ReplyDeleteYelling helps sometimes. I try to remember that when it's the kids yelling and not momma. Honestly bawling helps me a ton more.. lol. Yelling doesn't phase the kids but if I cry for a few minutes I feel much better;)
ReplyDeleteHeh... sometimes nicey-nicey, supportive, understanding and regulated simply isn't possible. I'm just glad to know I'm not the only one! As long as it's not a way of life I think we're good.
ReplyDeleteYou don't need to explain/defend yourself. Parents yell sometimes.
ReplyDeleteAha! That was YOU I heard all the way down here in GA! I was wondering about all that racket.
ReplyDelete:)
I knew I'd find something like this over here when I read your comment. Let's call Ryan from paranormal state (am I the only one that watches that crap?) and have h assess our situations.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately just like you have one teaching the other, my biggers are teaching my smallest. It ain't pretty.
I knew I loved you from the first post I read! You rock mama! I'll be the first to block off your street from cps....ha ha
ReplyDeleteWhat? We're not supposed to yell?
ReplyDeleteoh, yes, every mom knows what you're talking about. and if they say they don't, they're lying. =)
ReplyDeleteYou are only human. At least that's what I tell myself after I yelll at my children. I make up for it by giving them chocolate and lots of kisses.
ReplyDeleteWe've all done it. I got so tired of my older one kicking his little brother in the car while I was driving that last week I pulled over, pulled out the hairband from my ponytail, and tied his legs together. He took it off immediately, but it shocked him bigtime and now whenever I hear the little brother screech from the back seat I show older brother my rubber band and he stops. I felt like a total abuser. But my younger son no longer gets kicked during driving trips so I don't feel so bad! And you shouldn't either.
ReplyDeleteI think I told you before, my 3 year old has autism. The two year old thinks that screaming and repeating numbers is the way to go too. It can be scary when the younger one mimics the behaviors! and tiring....take care of yourself Essie.
P.S. Did your gifter also once give you an apron when she knew you hated cooking? Or was that a different family member? :)
Sometimes kids really need to see that we are human and have limits. Yelling? Pshaw. That's nothing. if there was no duct tape involved how much damage could you have done?????
ReplyDeletethere is somehting in the air I had one of those days on monday - if my kids are axe murders I iwll take all the blame, that is if they don't m,urder me first - lol
ReplyDeleteAgain, you are cracking me up here!!! I love it!
ReplyDeleteI yell too...and feel bad about it, but that is usually the only time my kids will even look at me and do what I have said. When I am nice, they just go about their business.