I have finally mastered the "smokey eye". After approximately 20 years of effort, I figured it out. The trick seems to be to over- apply. Over- apply, then use a real make up brush instead of that cheap foamy thing that comes with my cheap make up, lightly swipe over what you just put on. That will smoodgie it and leave a gradient effect.
So what, you are thinking? Yeah, me too. Who cares.
I HAVE NO WHERE TO GO THAT MIGHT BE NICE TO HAVE A SMOKEY EYE!!!
Does the little boy at the gas station register care that I have mastered the smokey eye? How about my kids pre- 4K teacher? The brats at the park? The smokey eye is not generally appropriate in daylight.
Dangit.
(I would have pictures but still have not dealt with my broken camera and extra purchased warranty.)
And you know what else? If I did have somewhere to go, not that I am admitting this happened but, if I did have somewhere to go I bet I would realize later that I had a great face full of sophisticated make up but it was all negated by the large yellow Big Bird hair clip on the back of my head.
Once again, you are cracking me up.
ReplyDelete*giggles* I have nowhere to go either, Essie... But your posts are just *too* funny!
ReplyDeletelol.. one of the worst things about having a teenage girl for me is that I have not mastered any good makeup techniques.. She (13) is just at the age where she's into experimenting.. UGH! I need to master the Smokey eye!
ReplyDeleteThank you for making me laugh this morning. Managing a bunch of kids, including five 8-9 year old girls full of drama (I seem to have 8 regulars here these days)while entertaining just isn't really funny. Thanks for the toilet humor too... It was timely. Yesterday when her big sister told her to put the poop in the potty my little one, who is showing lots of interest in potty training, quickly dug out her Pooh bear and stuffed him into the potty! Her receptive language is truly impressive!
ReplyDeleteI haven't worn eye shadow for 10 years or more. (Of course now it wouldn't go too well with my dailey attire of holey shirt & shorts.) Decided I'd try it on the trip. Nobody laughed in front of me but I'm sure there were snickers behind my back. You need to post a how to video. :-)
ReplyDeleteYes a vlog! and eye makeup? Yet another thing my body proactively rejects.
ReplyDeleteAh, the smokey eye. I remember thee well. These days I feel sassy when I put on mascara and Chapstick.
ReplyDeleteha ha, chapstick! I use that and call it 'making an effort' too lol. It goes with my attire...
ReplyDeleteD- 8 kids is 8 too many, yikes, I bow to you! That is really funny about the pooh doll though.
I'd be scared of my 13 year old having a smokey eye. At 13 I think I was trying really hard not to stab myself in the eye with the thick black liner so chic in the 80's.
instead of the bird hair clip, i would be all smokey-eyed with 5 day old dirty hair. yep, we all know the hotness is totally eminating out my lovely pores.
ReplyDeleteHey, Big Bird sounds like a PERFECT accessory for the smoky eye...
ReplyDeleteI used to wear a lot of eye makeup, but haven't in years. When I do try and put some on I end up looking like trailer trash. I wish your camera was working-I would like to see a picture.
ReplyDeleteMakeup has NEVER stayed on my skin for longer than the time it takes to put it on. Sooooo strange. And this includes regular theatrical make-up which I obligingly tried to use to effect back when I was an actress. Even the professional make-up artists got exasperated. It didn't matter too much in theatre, because I am actually a really good actress and could do it all that way. In real life it is just as well I am a "church-worker" because that is just what I look like...and they aren't supposed to wear make-up, are they? Well, at least Catholic ones aren't. (No Tammy Faye efforts here.)
ReplyDeleteYou are so funny! I am actually having a rare quiet moment and catching up on your blog. Thanks for the entertainment!
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