Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Freedom From Turkey

This is going to be the third Thanksgiving that I have had this blog! I would love to write up a great post about the holiday and make a gravy- boatload full of hysterically funny comments and observations about the holiday, and especially about how much I don't like  turkey.

Unfortunately, I have done that already. (last year)

Twice. (the first year)
And I consider myself a thorough person. I may procrastinate the snot out of everything in my path but by jingo, when I do it, I do it right. Or so I like to think. Anyway. I now have this problem wherein I have used up all my good lines about turkey and now I find myself with nothing interesting left.

Okay, its a very narrow topic! Gimme a break!

Possibly part of the reason is because we are staying home this year for the holiday and I don't actually have the anticipation of eating a turkey looming up. I'm funnier when backed into a corner with dread. This year, we are eating pizza. I asked the girls what they would want and the answer was both easy and clear. Pizza. I actually have worried that they might get negative feedback from friends or people at school. I imagine the conversations going like this:

Teacher in my Imagination "Are you excited about having turkey on Thursday?"

My kid in my Imagination "no, turkey sucks lady, we are having pizza"

Teacher "What? No turkey? You have to have turkey on Thanksgiving!"

My kid "we have to have turkey, my teacher said so". Cue Wango Tango.

I also worried that they might realize later that everyone else had turkey and they did not. Therefore they might feel bad about their holiday and family. This is that conversation:

My kid in the future in my Imagination "My parents never let us have turkey on Thanksgiving. They never let us participate in anything that was socially standard. Or fun. We never fit in at school or anywhere else for it".

Kids psychiatrist in the future in my Imagination  "And how did THAT make you feel?"

My kid "Well, I can only assume it was part of their general pattern of laziness and self indulgence and I resented it".

Kids psychiatrist "mmm HMMMM", (scribble scribble). 

See, these are the things I worry about. So I asked them again, just to be sure. I mean no, I don't want to have a turkey. I sure the hell don't know how to even cook one but I'm guessing I could buy one of those Banquet family dinners with the reconstituted avian product and the gravy substance and I know I can cook that. I can open a can of that solid cranberry gel stuff.  But no, pizza is what they picked.


So, that's what we're having. I am going to get some pumpkin pies and other desert things. The good stuff. But first, they will have to eat their pizza.


  1. You know our family tradition of grilled cheese and french fries for Thanksgiving started by asking a kid what they wanted for the holiday dinner. Here we are 8 years later, grilling strong! Happy Thanksgiving!

  2. My husband makes turkey...I eat everything but the turkey. If he's willing to do the deed, fine. Me, bring on the carbs....bring on the dessert. Oh, and the broccoli/craisan's mine, all mine. Happy Turkey Non-turkey day

  3. Oh, I WISH! Flowergirl just informed me that on Thanksgiving we have to have turkey. Drats!
    Of course, this year I'm relieved of cooking duty due to hand surgery this past Tuesday, and Daddyman has offered to do it all. Except he's using me as his running calendar--when does the turkey go in, when do we peel the potatoes? Dude, I'm not peeling anything, unless you count the top off the bottle of pain killers!

    Have a happy pizza-grilled cheese-french fry day! Y'all have my admiration!

  4. I want turkey! In fact, I have a turkey given to me by a fellow church-goer, however, when my husband said, "I'm taking the turkey out to thaw", I presumed he meant putting it in water in the basement - not putting it in the refrigerator. So, it is still hard as a rock. Thus, we'll have what we had last year: sloppy joes.

    That's really what all the kids would like anyway.

    I know what you mean, though. I ALMOST decided that I had a mis-shapen childhood because my mother HATES turkey and will not cook or eat it. So, I never learned how.

    When Maxim came, the first Thanksgving he looked at me with dismay when I said we weren't having turkey, so just so I could keep up with the families who disruped him, I ran out and bought a turkey. That was my first turkey dinner, and I actually liked it.

    But, sloppy joes are good, too!

  5. Some of my best Thanksgiving memories were those spent at my Aunt's house, eating Mexican food. Not a turkey in sight and no one missed it one bit.

    Hope it was a good one for you!

  6. We had lasagna - per kids request!

  7. Ya know, all of those sound really good!

    On Thursday Teena was like, whose house are we going to to eat our turkey. Sigh- remember Teena? Oh yeah, she says, lol.

  8. We have corngos and tater tots for lunch. It's 12 year tradition. Then we let the kids each choose 1 thing for Supper, and no one ever chooses turkey. This year we had mashed potatoes, mac & cheese, pie and egg rolls. Yum! I guess my kids will have to make their shrink appointments after yours!


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