This is going to be the third Thanksgiving that I have had this blog! I would love to write up a great post about the holiday and make a gravy- boatload full of hysterically funny comments and observations about the holiday, and especially about how much I don't like turkey.
Unfortunately, I have done that already. (last year)
Twice. (the first year)
And I consider myself a thorough person. I may procrastinate the snot out of everything in my path but by jingo, when I do it, I do it right. Or so I like to think. Anyway. I now have this problem wherein I have used up all my good lines about turkey and now I find myself with nothing interesting left.
Okay, its a very narrow topic! Gimme a break!
Possibly part of the reason is because we are staying home this year for the holiday and I don't actually have the anticipation of eating a turkey looming up. I'm funnier when backed into a corner with dread. This year, we are eating pizza. I asked the girls what they would want and the answer was both easy and clear. Pizza. I actually have worried that they might get negative feedback from friends or people at school. I imagine the conversations going like this:
Teacher in my Imagination "Are you excited about having turkey on Thursday?"
My kid in my Imagination "no, turkey sucks lady, we are having pizza"
Teacher "What? No turkey? You have to have turkey on Thanksgiving!"
My kid "we have to have turkey, my teacher said so". Cue Wango Tango.
I also worried that they might realize later that everyone else had turkey and they did not. Therefore they might feel bad about their holiday and family. This is that conversation:
My kid in the future in my Imagination "My parents never let us have turkey on Thanksgiving. They never let us participate in anything that was socially standard. Or fun. We never fit in at school or anywhere else for it".
Kids psychiatrist in the future in my Imagination "And how did THAT make you feel?"
My kid "Well, I can only assume it was part of their general pattern of laziness and self indulgence and I resented it".
Kids psychiatrist "mmm HMMMM", (scribble scribble).
See, these are the things I worry about. So I asked them again, just to be sure. I mean no, I don't want to have a turkey. I sure the hell don't know how to even cook one but I'm guessing I could buy one of those Banquet family dinners with the reconstituted avian product and the gravy substance and I know I can cook that. I can open a can of that solid cranberry gel stuff. But no, pizza is what they picked.
So, that's what we're having. I am going to get some pumpkin pies and other desert things. The good stuff. But first, they will have to eat their pizza.