Sunday, November 28, 2010

Crazy Funny

I found a photo blog a few days ago that had me literally laughing my ass off. It's called "Sh*t My Kids Ruined" and it is killer funny. And Oh My Stink I would have pee'd myself sitting on the sofa if that were not specifically forbidden in this house.

So here, for your After Holiday Crazy reading pleasure, is the link. However, I cannot stress this strongly enough, put down your coffee and for the love of indoor plumbing go potty first!

 Sh*t My Kids Ruined

The Huffington Post calls it "The Best Birth Control Ever", which I am a strong proponent of. Anyone who could come up with the line "glitter is the herpes of craft supplies" wins my heart and mind forever! Also I can feel really great about myself knowing my kids have only pulled about a quarter of the stunts on the site (or should I feel worried that they still have so much to accomplish?).

From my own archive, with no photo's sadly, we have the day Teena's Daddy was in charge. I had gone to work and he was working from home and watching "the baby", who I believe was about 18 months old at the time. I came home to find my make up decoratively used as artistic medium all over the bathroom. Everyone denied responsibility of course but I did note that most of the damage was below the height of 2 feet. Eyeliner, lipstick, anything you could spread with a brush or a finger, was smeared into cabinetry and the counter. Of note, Teena was clean. Despite her experiment with abstract art she had no signs of evidence on her. When I went into the bathroom to clean it all up (no, no, no one had cleaned it up yet) I noticed there was a teddy bear pacifier at the bottom of the sink. Uh huh.

Got a funny one? If you have pictures you should send them to the site, but if what you have left is a story feel free to tell it in the comments or link up and tell it on your blog!


  1. "Hey, I was here and I read your post!" And I thank you very much for writing about SMKR! I'm so happy you think it's funny and I hope your readers get a laugh, too.

    My boys are 3 and 4, and I'd be a wreck if I didn't laugh heartily and often! All the best and thanks again, Julie Haas Brophy

    PS - I want to give credit where it's due - the hilarious glitter line was part of a post sent in by a parent named Charlotte who was quoting comedian Demitri Martin. I only dream of constructing such genius lines!

  2. So funny!! I just read all the archives and submitted a story.

    I want to share a story it's a good thing I don't have any pictures for:

    I was sewing a Tinkerbell costume for myself (I wanted a costume I could nurse in). It was strapless so I had to wear a longline bra, which meant I had to unzip my jeans to put the bra on. I'd just lost 5 more lbs of the baby weight so I was excitedly wearing pre-baby jeans - even though I had to lay on the floor to zip them up.

    The baby woke up so I put on my nursing bra and started to put everything away, but realized he was happy playing on the floor so I put the white strapless bra back on over the black nursing bra and went back to fitting my costume.

    After awhile the baby got hungry and started fussing. As I was nursing him the doorbell rang. I wasn't planning on answering it, but by leaning a little I could see the windows on either side of the front door. Through both windows I could see policemen's shoulders!

    Unfortunately my shirt was in my sewing room and I would have to pass the front door with it's side windows to get to it! Same problem with getting to the stairs to go upstairs to my bedroom for another shirt.

    So there I was in my pants that wouldn't zip, with a baby attached to my chest, two bra (one black and one white) and a major dilemna. I finally decided to hold the baby in front of me, hope the police didn't look in the window and grab my shirt from the sewing room, which luckily was just long enough to cover my unzipped pants.

    Turns out my happily playing 6 mo old baby had found the cordless phone and randomly dialed 911, and a bunch of other numbers, and left the line open. The police could hear him crying (when he was hungry) and couldn't call back because the line was still open. There were 3 officers at my door. Luckily they were very understanding.

    I'm still trying to figure out if the article about making false calls to 911 in the local paper later that week was just a coincidence.

    Mary in TX

  3. Thanks for introducing me to SMKR!


  4. well I have to check that out. how cool that the writer of that blog gave you back a nice comment. how sweet.

    My kids have ruined sooooo sooooo sooo many things.

    although I have a sense of humor, my relatives and surrounding family basically think my kids are the spawn of satan from all they have broken etc.

    lightbulbs last about a week here, every toy is broken, about 6 windows have been broken by baseballs, frisbees, aspiring firemen who are pretending to put out fires etc etc etc... i am too embarrassed to write it all out or else ppl will think what is up with these kids????? lol.

  5. Thank you, thank you for the MUCH needed laugh today!!!!! Great site!!

  6. I know right, it was just the other day that I was cursing wildly about how I cannot have anything nice in this house for one minute before it gets broken or ruined in some way!


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