Friday, November 5, 2010

Crazy is Catching

I'm going off on a little family trip this weekend and all four of us will be staying in a hotel in Chicago. Which is going to be a ton of fun. I have a few "Chicago" touristy things planned for the girls, who have never been, in their memories. American Girl Place of course, and hopefully the Ferris wheel at Navy Pier. Genea and I will sit in a nice warm restaurant and watch Teena and her Daddy ride it. Maybe a boat ride on the river. There is just so much to do and see and I am excited to start showing it to the kids. We might go see the Bean sculpture too, if we have time.

Sooooo..... the hotel is going to be a little bit cramped. I used Priceline and here is the deal. I have used Priceline for years and have never been disappointed. They are a booking service on the internet, where you can blindly bid on a hotel room for example, and you may or may not get something for that price. Well, since I have used them for years I never had a need to re-read their contract.


I bid a low number on a top rated class of hotels in the Michigan Avenue area of Chicago. And I got it! And, it's really a great deal for a fabulous "boutique" hotel.


Turns out that Priceline only guarantees there will be a room to accommodate 2 adults. That's it. And..... I have 2 adults and 2 children. Mmmmm. It also appears that "boutique hotel" is code for microscopically small rooms with one tiny bed and no bathtub. So I contact the hotel to request my 2 double beds like it says in the handy little contract on the site. They are "sold out" of rooms with 2 double beds I'm told, but can offer me one king bed for an additional fee.

Ohhhhh hell no you don't!

I called Priceline and spoke with a customer relations woman who was very nearly crying when I was done with her but who refused to cancel the room. She tried to suggest that I book another room. And mentioned several times that she thought I should read the contract again. Turns out Priceline is not for families! I know for a fact William Shatner never once warned me in his commercials about this. I mean, I've never booked a hotel with the kids before, I  never imagined they would be unable to accommodate my family.

So, there's that.

Then, there is the crazy family I was born into, as opposed to the one I created. See, we are going to a family event for a child. Only, here is what happened. Cousin Payola was invited and is attending with his wife and children. Cousin Payola's parents found out he is attending and have decided they will have to stay home. Cousin Payola's sister, Cousin Unabitch found out he is attending and announced that she too is now unable to attend.

(Cousin Unabitch gets her name courtesy of The Unabomber. She is prone to sudden illogical attacks on a person).

(Cousin Payola gets his name from the fact that he has a lot of payola. He would like all of us to know and appreciate it. Here is a little history).

Here is the story. Cousin Payola and my Uncle G (his father) are involved in a lawsuit over..... take a guess..... money. Rumor has it that Cousin Payola has said some ugly things to my uncle, whatever. My uncle actually phones the mother of the child having the celebration to explain to her, things have become so unbearable that he could not guarantee he and Cousin Payola would not "come to blows" if they were at the same event.

No really.

I'm like dude, you are seventy years old! SEVENTY FUCKING YEARS OLD! Time to grow up has come and gone mister, come! and! gone! Oh yeah and by the way this event has NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU! It's about a young child.

Then, Cousin Unabitch, who incidentally has not spoken to Cousin Payola for several years now, has decided she cannot attend and she based that decision on the reported "ugly comments" he made to her father, my Uncle G.

....... tha' fu   ?

THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU YOU STINKING BIMBO! Seriously! That is a fight between two other people neither of which is you! Oh and by the way, this event has nothing to do with you either! It's about a young child.

Now actually, I have had my own issues with Cousin Unabitch and for my interests, I'm just as glad she is not going to be around. Truth is I have several vivid memories from my own childhood of these crazy people and the vicious things they can say and do and so, honestly I don't want my own daughters around their brand of crazy, the crazy that comes out when they are all together. I do love them as my family and I should also say I have fantastic crazy memories of super great times with them all while I was growing up. They have always been the fun part of the family. It's that protective mother's instinct that makes me wary of having them all in a room at the same time as my children.

And then, there is this.

Genea is on a tear. We have been reducing one of her medications at my strong and persistent request but I'm not entirely sure that is what is causing the relapse. She has started pea-ing on herself again, daily. Sometimes a few times a day. Could urinary incontinence in a mentally ill child be connected to her medication? I don't remember if she became continent when we started this med and that seems like something I would have remembered. It wasn't an anti- pea med. The behavior I am seeing is the minutia controlling variety as opposed to the screaming tantrum wango tango variety. Where she is picking her fingers bloody, pea- ing on herself, sneaking around, stealing, trying to get away with constant (and I mean constant) little things. She seems to be struggling a bit more in school this year and I suspect that her need to be hypervigilant is conflicting with her need to get work and classroom responsibilities done. With all that, it will sound odd, but she is really doing well overall. She is finally to a point where she can listen and process the things we tell her and sometimes remember, and act on it too.

Anyway, she is usually Miss Perfectly Perfect in front of other people so I'm sure she'll be fine. I packed a bunch of extra diapers just in case. Sheesh.

Then of course there is my Ritalin girl, who does not actually have any. Teena, who puts the H in ADHD. She has a ton of Halloween candy and is allowed a few pieces daily. I discovered that she has been opening the packaging sideways and down the middle. She pushes out half the candy and eats it. Then, she puts the whole mess back in her bowl of candy, disguised. I'm actually impressed while simultaneously ready to kick her butt.

Hmm, kind of a rambling post here. Anyway. I'll be out of town for a bit, so I will be able to read blogs but probably not comment or whatever.

Crazy really does seem to be catching.


  1. Stopping a med wouldn't cause her to pea, but anxiety returning because the med isn't killing it might. But a thought: Princess is hitting a pea tear at the same time. Halloween, maybe?

    It always makes me kind of sad that, as a good parent, I cannot let my girls know how impressively creative and ingenious their deviousness and antisocial behavior is.

  2. Yes; I've fortunately escaped p issues, and unfortunately been unable to obtain meds of any sort, let alone a psychiatrist to prescribe them.....however, just seems to make sense to me.

    I'd wonder if school was becoming a bit much.

    I also have used Priceline successfully, but my risk-adverse nature prevented me from using its purest version - the "name your own price" version - as I could just SEE that fine print waiting to get me. (OK, I'm feeling some satisfaction here, that I made the right call on that one! Even with MY version of Priceline there were three of us in one bed.)

  3. I hope you have better weather in Chicago than we are having around the bend (of the Lake). Snow! Blech.

    Love Chicago though. It's my second home...(only, I only WISH I had a second home Have a nice time!

    Brilliant on the candy, Teena.

  4. We had the same priceline-limited version experience only ours was over their smoking/non-smoking rooms. Non-smoking is very common in California but at least at that time, not mandatory. Most hotels set aside smoking rooms but turns out that specifying non-smoking on priceline was considered only a "request" not a mandate and if they didn't have anything but smoking, you'd paid your money and you took what they gave you. Soured the DH on them forever I think.

    Brilliant candy-manipulator indeed, Teena. I'm sure at her age I pulled the same, or similar.

  5. The no-ritalin solution: caffeine. Seriously. Give her a little dixie cup full of Coca-cola and see if it helps.

    Hmmm...chocolate has caffeine. Maybe she was self-medicating... ;>

    Ingenious, really.

  6. Pediatrician told me Mountain Dew or Jolt Cola for caffeine. Doesn't give me any pep but hey, not much gets me up and moving. Wait, fire, being on fire, moves me.

  7. The Mister sells urinary drugs, and there is a shockingly large number of drugs that urologists use "off-label" to help with urinary continence issues. . . but I'm guessing that this is not the case with your girl.

    I do believe that a delightful Fiesta tumbler would make fine restitution that those hotel/Priceline shitheads need to pay you...

  8. These kind of stories are why I stay away from family functions.

    Tee got to go to that American Girl place, and since it was a surprise, she didn't have her DOLL with her. She has 5 of them, but her step mother failed to tell me they were going to go there, knowing she could get one of the dolls from me. WTH was the point in that? I've never had a chance to take her again, and she thinks she's too old now. Sigh.


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