There I sat. Innocently, calmly, quietly. Not bothering anyone. Completely unprepared for the colossal insult about to be shotgunned at me by the child I gave up caffeine for. The child that took 30 hours to move herself and her accessories out of my body (not that I felt most of it but that is not the point).
We were sitting together actually, on my recliner. A recliner meant really for one medium sized adult. Maybe one adult and a cat. But not one adult and a child. However, as I am so immensely generous of a person, I let both of my children cram their bodies into the chair with me, one at a time of course. I have to twist and torque into shapes the human body was not designed for but I love my little girls and they love to sit crammed in there with me and we do. Despite the unbelievable discomfort it causes me. And pain.
So Teena, she is an articulate child and a bright one at that. While she is often logic-and-filter - impaired, she is observant. As we were sitting on my recliner and her 200 degree body was caulked in with me, she made a comment.
Your feet look old, she chirped with a happy smile.
"What makes them look old?" I queried back to her, unsure and looking for clarity. After all, feet are not the typical age detector. (I believe this was a good indicator of things I need to learn as a parent. Exhibit A: for the love of body butter, know when to ask and when to let it go!)
"They look all brushie here", as she points to my heels which indeed have developed a sort of well, brushie, look to them.
I squawked, "what? what do you mean? what do you mean by brushie?"( trying to ignore the facts, I love me some good denial)
Clearly recognizing she needed to backtrack at the speed of a runaway train she wouldn't discuss it any further. But I was stuck. Stuck because I was both impressed by her descriptive skills and pissed off about my old looking brushie feet.
Too little too late, I let it go.
Gotta love 'em!
ReplyDeleteI demand a picture because I'm just not sure what brushie feet look like, let alone how brushie =old..
ReplyDeleteNow that I have that out of the way- Ha, gotta love them right?!
Agghh!! BRUSHIE feet?? Now that doesn't seem like something we can just get rid of with Botox or lasers, does it??
ReplyDeleteKids...gotta love 'em (and their comments?)!!
I have small bumpy moles on each side of my nose. Each of my 4 kids has asked me -- 3 while I was driving -- why I had them. My dermatalogist swore that nobody but my kids would notice them. I still had the largest one removed.
ReplyDeleteBrushy feet? Tell her that for your next birthday (or would it be Christmas?) you need her to get you a pair of sleep-in-socks and the special goo you put on your feet before they go in the socks. And that since she helped you to notice how brushy your feet are, she gets to have the immense pleasure of rubbing that goo onto your feet!
Aw, what does she know? I'm sure you have very young looking feet :)
ReplyDeleteBy brushie, I thought she meant like brushed chrome or brushed nickel. Which is what they actually look like. I do have the advantage of being the owner of the feet for definition purposes. I would watch what I request a picture of, you might even get it!
ReplyDeleteIf there is money for lasers laying around I have several other places on the priority list. BUT, if I won the lottery I would age regress my feet! Also, STS that is a great idea and I may just do that tomorrow. So, might not need it anymore.
THank you Anne!
First...lol at "...and her accessories". Im still not clear on what "brushie" is. Thats a good one, what a clever little girl.
ReplyDeleteHa! If my kid said that I would tell her, "You know what, Sweetie Pumpkin Princess Kissy-face? You're right. My feet DO look brushy. We can't have that, now can we?"
ReplyDeleteSweetie Pumpkin. etc. would nod her head violently. No! Absolutely not!
"So," I'd continue brightly, "Mommy needs to fix her brushy, old-looking feet so they look nice and pretty! Mommy is going to the spa RIGHT NOW and Daddy can watch you while Mommy gets a mani-pedi/salt scrub/kelp massage/deep cleaning facial/haircut and blow dry. Then, Mommy will need some pretty, pretty new sandals so everyone can see how nice and pretty her feet look! Bye!"
And then I'd split, cackling fiendishly.
That is the great blessing of children, I have convinced myself - they make one humble.
ReplyDeleteReally, really humble.
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ReplyDeleteHumble schmumble! Feet should have clothes on them anyway I suppose.
ReplyDeleteA spa does sound delightful.....
Accessories, well, you don't want the description take my word for it!
Okay, brushie. Think a brushed nickel faucet or door knobs. Brushie! Like the oldness has been brushed!
I would also comment to my little foot-judger that at least I have ankles and not fat little cankles like SOME people. And boobs. I have those, too. People who criticize their mother's feet have been known to retain their cankles and never grow boobs for their entire lives. I read that someplace.
ReplyDeleteI, too, have brushie feet... well, actually, brushie heels. That is a great description; you may have a poet on your hands.
ReplyDelete(Brushie feet can be prevented if you buff your heels with a pumice stone, which I don't do nearly enough.)
I can not even imagine what the little miss would say about my feet then... but that it sort of cute.
ReplyDeleteyeah, I know. I think I should get reimbursed by our ins company by the amt of time and money I have to spend on my feet. but,hey, if I didn;t then I get cracked heels!! painful, cracked heels!
ReplyDeletenot funny, people.