What thread?

Teena is the type of child that feels like since my body was her home for 9 months, I should continue to extend that hospitality to her at her discretion, indefinitely. Which is basically all day every day, with her bony little elbows and wild flailing arms and legs. Anyway, my mistake. I thought that whole pregnancy bit was more of a temporary rental process but whatever. She is also an obnoxiously curious child with a super sonic flapping mouth and, evidently, no filter to action or thought.

A week ago or so, Teena was sitting on my lap with her head jacked up under my chin for no good reason other than she likes to be there. As usual she twisted around, jabbing and poking at me using my clothes and, most memorably, my boob to right herself and keep from falling. She caused no less than seven bruises turning to face me to say "oops Mama I sowwy I hurt you", then she got distracted. Distraction is something we deal with on such a regular basis that both my girls, ages 4 and 6 can accurately both define and use the word in a sentence. But I digress. Ahem. Teena's words sort of drift off as her focus moves to my face and her squinty little eyes peer intently at mine. Here we go.

Teena: Mama, you got somefing in your eyes
Mama: huh?
Teena: Yeah, you got somefing in your eyes. Don't you know you have somefing in your eyes?
Mama: huh?
Teena: You didn't put that stuff in your eyes Mama? That stuff doesn't bother you? You don't care if you have stuff in your eyes? Mama? Mama?
Mama: huh?
Teena: You got stuff in your eyes Mama! It's like thread, it looks like thread. You didn't put thread in your eyes Mama? You don't like to have thread in your eyes?
Mama: Teena, there is no thread in my eyes.
Teena: YESH, YESH there is thread in your eyes, its right there (poke/jab/blind me). You got red thread in your eyes. You didn't think there was thread in your eyes, right Mama. Right? You didn't know it was in there right? Right?
Mama: Teena, there is no..... oh wait..... red thread....... is it like lines?
Teena: YESH! Mama yesh! You like that red stuff in your eyes? You put it there because you like it? You wanted red stuff in your eyes?
Mama: *sigh* no Teena, I don't want red stuff in my eyes. That's what happens to big people when they don't get enough sleep. (Note I am not one to miss out on an incidental learning moment) That's because someone pee'd the bed last night and someone else got up and was walking around and so people kept waking me up when I was supposed to be sleeping.

Incidentally, Teena and her sister both have bright clear eyes. Not a thread in sight.