2 Stupids and a Few Cutes

This is something that I really hate. It makes me nuts. Encrazed, if you will. Like someone has hooked a chain under my skin and is dragging it down my spine. Like someone is tap dancing on my temples. Like grinding sharp gravel into the armpits.

I was at an eye doctor appointment the other day, and I could overhear a conversation between an eyewear sales woman and her customers. Now, I go to the cheapest eye doctor in town because I have no insurance. I take a risk with that, and walked around for a year with an inaccurate prescription in one eye from them. But whatever, I have two eyes so it worked out. Anyhow, folks come down from all over the woods to go to the cheap eye clinic here. The kind of folks who go to town once a year for their supplies. Need a new pan to fry up the squirrel for dinner, for example.

The sales woman is speaking to an elderly couple, who seem to have lived a hard life if appearances can be counted on in these matters. They were discussing broken glasses, their repair policy, possible extra insurance etc. I was really just paying attention to how I looked in funky striped black and white glasses with purple sides at the time, but I heard the sales woman loud and clear. Because she was being loud. She told the couple this: "you need to understand that we are not reliable if something happens to your lenses, I just want to be sure you know, that we can't be reliable, not that we will break them or anything but you know, just in case".

SCREEEEEEEECH

I HATE that. I HATE, DESPISE AND LOATHE when people try to use "big" words that they don't know, to make themselves sound official or important or smarter than you. It makes me crazy. Encrazed. Just use a word you know. Okay, liable is not a huge word, but evidently it is bigger than the sales woman. It seems to be a trend because I hear it a lot. People figure if they sound close to the word it must be good enough.

I was trying to think of another example for this post while watching Judge Judy this afternoon. I love my Judge Judy! Two women were arguing their points to Judge Judy, and one begins talking about their verbal contract. She says, "we were in agreeance on this. We talked about it and decided, so we had an agreeance".
UGRRRRRRRRRR!!!

See how I have so little in my life that I can fuss up about stuff like this?

Now for the cute. I was talking to Teena and she pointed at my upper lip and said, "that's your nachos". I was like, my what? Nachos, she says. Nachos, right there, as she points and jabs her grubby little finger on my upper lip. What on earth could she be talking about I wondered? Does she mean chips? Like from a restaurant? No, she tells me, it sounds the same but that is not chips. Right, that's what I thought too. So I am thinking she meant the philtral ridge, which is the groove between the nose and the lip. But what would possess a 4 year old to start a conversation on that topic? And why would she think the lines are called nachos?

That was a few days ago, earlier in the week. Then yesterday I realized what she was saying. See, my brain works like a snapped rubber band sometimes. Just.... BAM! BING! CLOMP! and out of nowhere I got it. Nostrils. She thought she was saying nostrils, but she was saying nachos. She was pointing and prodding at my lip because she did not want to stick her fingers actually in my nose. Not for lack of interest or desire on her part, but because I have yelled at her many a time for that.

Genea has a few of those, but much less now that she has gotten older. She is at that age where when we imitate something cute she said as a toddler, she corrects us. She used to call chap stick lip- balm type of stuff "lipsocks". No one knows where she came up with that, but I have called all chap sticks "lipsocks" ever since. Now, Genea corrects me. Do you mean lipstick? She will counter, when I tell her to go put on her lipsocks. Call it whatever, just put it on! Ever since she started first grade, she is suddenly the grammar police. Genea, I tell her, go put this in the "grabage". Do you mean garbage? No, I say, I mean what I said!

Okay so to summarize, it is stupid when adults are abusive to big words that they don't understand. When toddlers do it, it's cute. Really cute, and funny too. Today Teena told me it was "blustery" outside. It is snowing, windy and freaking cold. Good job Teena, it IS blustery outside today!

Yeah, um, I'm pretty sure "encrazed" isn't actually a word. That's what makes it so damn funny.