Thursday, July 22, 2010

A Piercing Question.....

I love the look of little girls with pierced ears. When I was a kid I had a friend from a large Italian family and all the new babies had little gold posts or tiny thin hoops in their ears. I thought it was adorable! I wanted to get Teena's ears pierced right away when she was a baby but I let people talk me out of it. So many people suggested that I wait until she was older, to make a glorious day of mother-daughter fun out of it. To make it a rite of passage, or to mark a significant event with it. It should be special, people said, an occasion. The Husband is good in these area's, he will give an opinion but recognizes he has no experience being a girl. However he did not like the idea. So, I left it be.

I let people talk me out of it and I then spent the next four years wishing I had not. Ugh. Since when do I let people talk me out of stuff like that anyway? When Teena decided she was ready to talk I started asking her opinion on earrings. Are you sure you don't want pierced ears? How about now? And now? What do you think about pierced ears hmmm? Teena tried to redirect or ignore me but finally gave in last fall. I promptly paraded her to the mall and happily dragged her to the Claire's.

FYI and BTW, there is nothing special or passage- like about hanging off a bar chair with your butt halfway in the mall from the doorway of the Claire's. Nothing. I signed 400 pages of documents, they shot Teena with the snappers, she looked really startled and turned red and then we were done.

Genea had already- pierced ears when she moved in. Unfortunately, at some point one of the earrings fell out and the hole closed up within a few days without my even realizing we had a problem. I gave her the choice to get the ear re-done or let the other one close up and she made the only sensible decision for a 4 year old- close 'em up! Really, her behavior at that time was so wild and out of control and violent that earrings were probably not a good idea anyway. So I only started nagging her about a year ago. Are you ready yet? How about now? I thought Teena getting hers done might prompt Genea to do it too, but no- go. She was afraid of the pain.

Who knows what goes on in the mysterious mind of Genea. Late last week she woke up and informed us she wanted to get her ears pierced. YAY! I gave it a few days and off we went. I filled out the 400 forms to verify I am Genea's mom, her parent and not her guardian, official and legal- like. The piercer noticed the marks from the old holes and asked about using the same spots, which I thought would be fine, there hadn't been any issues there. Then she asked when had I had the original piercing done? And I went..... ummm..... Hmmmm. I don't know when they were done.

Woosh! Just like that, Genea became The Adopted Child! About 20 different thoughts were jumping around my brain. Should I tell them? Should I not tell them? It's not their business. I don't know when she had them done because I was not there for the first 4 years of her life. They don't need to know that. I can't just leave it though. A mom knows when her child's ears were pierced. They will think I am not her mom and refuse to do the piercing. How could I not know? I have to tell them something. I looked over at the piercer who was busy sanitizing something and I realized she did not seem to care too much. I paused another moment. What should I say?

Nothing. In the end I said nothing. Which was appropriate. I answered the question and I had nothing to hide. An explanation might have been nice but, meh, too bad.

They pierced her ears anyway and did not ask for clarification.

Here is the "before" picture of Genea. They leave this cute little teddy bear on the chair for kids to hold on to. The teddy bear has about 12 piercings in her ears. Hootchie teddy bear. This is Genea smiling just before the action.



Ummm, there is no "after" picture. Despite all of our warnings that this was going to hurt, Genea was still surprised at the level of pain. Many, many shoppers in the mall that day were also surprised at the volume one medium sized child could emit shrieking in pain. I didn't explain anything to them either.

16 comments:

  1. Ha! I still remember getting my ears pierced. Worst. Pain. Ever. I was like Genea, left SCREAMING, my mom had to drag me out. I vaguely remember this. She was horrified.

    We like to say it's a good thing we went somewhere that would do both at once. Because if they were one at a time, the second would never have been done.

    Oh, and I hear it hurts worse through scar tissue. Nice of them to tell you that :-P

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  3. Princess always wanted her ears pierced, "like yours, Mommy," but she was still technically in foster care. My saying she couldn't because her last name wasn't the same as ours turned into, for her, that she COULD when her last name WAS the same as ours. I didn't have a problem with that, so when we got legal guardian status, I marched her to Claires and it was a big exciting mother-daughter bonding deal.

    She. Would. Not. Take. Care of them. She would. Not. Let me take care of them. Finally after six months of fighting and infections and stringing thread through the holes so the wouldn't close up, I gave up, took away her earrings, and closed them up. Broke my heart.

    The other girls can get them done when they ask. Princess can get them done when she has the $40 to pay for it. Which will be never, since I won't give her an allowance until she's done kicking the walls and doors and throwing furniture.

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  4. I secretly think that baby earrings are cute too! My only fear is that a little one would tug one out or get it caught on something (like I do on clothes or towels sometimes) and end up pooping the poor little earring out the other end.

    maddie & I did get ears pierced together for her 5th birthday---I got my 2nd holes re-done as they had closed up from my first 2nd hole piercing. Hmmm...does this mean I need to get a 3rd set when marah gets her ears pierced? Fine by me! lol

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  5. My family always pierced their babies ears, but my grandma would do it with a hot sewing needle and thread. My mom was too "la di da" for that and had mine done at the doctor's office... back in the day when pediatricians did it. My daughter was still my foster child at age 4 months old when her birth mother demanded them done (which was good 'cause I wanted them done too). To the mall we went.

    Cute post.

    Peace

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  6. Such an awesome description of that moment that we all have for whatever reason when we don't know something about our adopted child because we weren't there. Love it! Your post I mean, not the moment. Don't love the moment at all.

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  7. cute post! when i was 4, i begged and begged and begged my mom to get my ears pierced. she kept refusing, no it's going to hurt, no you are too young. i was persistent and apparently wore her down. she said we were in the mall one day and i was begging again to get it done. she was like FINE let's go do it right now, fully thinking I would chicken out and never go through with it. i got my ears pierced that day, i was 4, and i left the shop having shed no tears and happy. :) my mom couldn't believe it. (for the record i was the biggest tomboy ever and have no idea why i wanted my ears pierced so young, but i do still wear earrings every day!) katie, age 27
    Oh, and I don't comment much but I do love reading your blog!

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  8. I have boys. If I have a girl in the next round I am sure I to will have to cross this bridge... not sure I want to though.

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  9. I just realised how strange that comment sounded " if I have a girl int eh next round" sounds like I am going to roll some dice and maybe get one this time. What I meant was if the next sibling group we adopt has a girl in it... but why say that the easy way, it is way easier to say somehitng dumb and then have to explain it.

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  10. I have too much to do already without caring for the piercings of twin girls. So I will wait to pierce ears until they are old enough to ask for it.

    I read a good condition for the kiddies though. They have to be mature enough to take care of their teeth. If they can brush and floss twice a day without nagging they are ready for pierced ears. Until then...sorry kiddo.

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  11. When I finally begged enough to get my ears pierced I was about 13. We went to the earring kiosk at the mall in our town and I sat in a chair right in the middle of the mall and they shot the piercing thing. It jammed and I was sitting in the middle of the mall with the earring gun hanging next to my face while they tried to fix it. Finally they had to take the whole thing off, take the earring out of the gun thing and shove the earring back through the hole. It was a fun time.

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  12. De, I was not going to mention it, but that's how I had mine done too, in a dr.'s office, cuz that's who did it back then!!!! LOL!!!!

    Matry-oooooooooh, that sounds so bad!

    J, I figured something like that!

    Genea is doing okay with them so far. She starts squeeking that it hurts before I even touch her to clean them, but she does that with her hair when it needs to be brushed too. We keep forgetting to clean them, but they look fine and it's not like she works in a manure pit.

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  13. i think babies are cute w/ them but they are a hassle.

    and your brushie feet aren't that bad. my feet are far more brushie

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  14. 婚姻對男人來說是賭他的自由,對女人而言卻是賭她的幸福。.................................................................

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  15. This is what happens when I read comments late at night- I forget a bunch of stuff. Like this:
    HI Katie! Jump on in and comment any time!

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  16. Egads! I accidentally rejected your recent comment
    "Love that picture LOL!"
    Sorry Essie! The cat was helping me moderate and thought he should try and walk across the computer AGAIN tonight. ARGH. Anyhow...I had my ears pierced at the mall at age 9. Total rite of passage! Had my son's pierced at 12 (a very tasteful plain gold stud) but his Dad made him close it up...When he was 18 he went and got them pierced AGAIN and looks great wearing his silver hoops!

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