Saturday, June 26, 2010

Payback's a b...... pissed off 7 year old

Memories..... may be beautiful and yeeeeeeeeeeeeeet..........
What's too painful to rememmmmmmmmmmmmmmmber......
We simply choose to forgeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet...........*

This has come up before but what the heck. We have issues. Everyone knows we have issues. So.

The girls went last week to spend a few days with my parents down in The South of Wisconsin. They had a great time. So great, that for the first time ever, when I asked Genea on the phone if she was ready to come home she said no. NO! Usually her answer is as guaranteed as a speeding ticket at the end of the month. She is always ready to come home! Anyway, regardless of fun to be had, going on a visit is a change for her and as a rule, she no likey change.

But then! Upon return home what did we find but their grandfather! Visiting with us for several days! They had a great time together and he took them to the zoo and out to eat a bunch of times and then even to the beach. However. While enjoyment was rampant and Grampa is willing to have his face pummeled in fun for seemingly hours, a visitor is a visitor and the one thing Genea likes about visitors is that they leave. Nothing against the visitor, just the fact that they irreverently bring with them change and (all together now) she no likey change.

Wait! There's more!  To top off all this wild amusement as soon as Grampa left late on Sunday afternoon it was time to get ready for summer school to start the next morning. Not at her regular school, not with her regular bus and not at the regular time. Change, change and more change. And She! No! Likey! Change! And while one class is math, the other is cooking and as much as Genea hates change she is equally passionate about her love of food and everything about food.

Most kids who cling voraciously to their schedules will have a fit when the schedule is changed. Maybe the child will wait some and have their fit later that same day, or after they have felt out the change a bit and decided if it was to their liking. Not so with Genea. For whatever reason Genea refuses to be locked in to the ridiculous expectation that she cooperate with standardized fit throwing. She Genea is going to be the most delightful, well- behaved child you ever did see! It may sound odd (but you've grown to expect that haven't you) but I enjoy seeing it. It is not be genuine, it is probably as maladaptive a response as the Wango Tango for her to become a ray of sunshine on the heels of a change that rocks her world off of its axis. I think it is probably because she is so happy to be home and back to her routine that the gladness bubbles off of her for several days. Even a week.

But Then! She remembers! She no likey change! And who pray tell is responsible for all of those changes? Aha! Mama and Daddy are the center of the universe and in charge of everything! So. Payback begins. Genea turns into an emaciated mosquito, buzzing at me constantly. Incessantly. Doing anything and everything in her power to work me over. Ever want to see freshly, deliberately, vomited Italian sausage and green beans? Because it is vile. Now you know. What's that....what's that smell? Mmm, marinated daytime pee clothes that have sat all over my furniture. Who drew on the..... oh never mind. Just clean it up.

Usually we have to see this through to an explosion. We can redirect, ignore, distract, whatever great tricks exist, we try them all. Medium tricks and sucky tricks, we try those too. It'll fade though, and the fading comes about so much faster than it used to. Sometimes you have to be reminded of the past to appreciate how far you have come. Not so for me, I was appreciative! I swear!

*quoted from lyrics to "The Way We Were" by Barbra Streisand


  1. Progress is wonderful and even better when you recognize it. She has come a long way.

  2. Wow, what a lot going on! I always love reading your stories, and how openly and honestly you relate them. I cracked up at your "sucky" fixes....I always feel like I have some great tricks up my sleeve, and some that are quite sucky but just might work!

    While I was reading your post, I kept hearing that song in my head...."ch-ch-ch-ch-changes....turn and face the"....

  3. I love the emaciated mosquito analogy...fits my RADakid's incessant questions to a T. Our Wango Tango has been decreasing to only once every few days, but in its place is the crazy arguing that makes me wonder if I've suddenly sprouted purple hair.

  4. I loved the singing by the way! And our daughters really are twins even though one was born in Guatemala and one was born in Ukraine. They are so much alike.

  5. 幸福不是一切,人還有責任。.................................................................                           

  6. Isn't it great, though, that she's forgetting she hates change for a space? Sometimes Princess forgets she was in the middle of screaming for a while. It gives me a chance to distract her. Pretending I was going to vomit worked last time.

  7. Essie, you won my giveaway! Send me your e-mail addy, and I'll e-mail you the Amazon gift!

  8. I totally understand the how did you put it ....What's that....what's that smell? Mmm, marinated daytime pee clothes that have sat all over my furniture. Who drew on the..... oh never mind. Just clean it up. .... but to see how far you have come is an awesome look back in time

  9. We're living parallel lives.

    We went to Dayton, then a "friend" of Anastasia's came to stay - a friend whose mother NEEDS her to be with us....but after a day or two, I saw that storm cloud coming. Anastasia hates change but she especially hates "fun". Eventually things disintegrated to the point that the other girl's sanity was at stake. Especially when, during lunch - Wham! the antique chair is thrown to the ground, and smack! the cracker box follows, spewing crackers all over.

    Attempts at calming strategies in the kitchen simply resulted in our darling YELLING that "N. IS BORING! I hate her!!!!" And a few more choice slaps and slams and my little peach had to be held down on the kitchen floor. "Hey, Zhen - could you take N. out to eat on the front porch?"

    Our little guest's rather sad homelife is probably looking all shiny and sweet after this vacation!

  10. Oh, I have to say that I vastly prefer embarrassment and hours spent sprawled on the kitchen floor to either vomit or pee. God is good to me!

  11. YES! Even FUN change is still a change and change is..... no good! I'd actually rather be splayed on the floor than deal with the sneaky manipulative stuff too. At least it's out there.

    Anymore though, we at least know the signs and basically know her repertoire of stuff to throw at us.

    I'm going to use ch ch ch changes on a post soon- I always forget that one!

  12. An excellent post of the horrors of transition. Transition whether good or bad is viewed the same in our little angels eyes. This post should be printed and handed out at adoptive/foster care meetings world-wide. I gag when i hear phrases like, "love is enough" or just use "tough love." Tough love? The parents I know dress like Rambo, come out swinging every morning like Rocky and put Mother Theresa to shame in the long-suffering-patience department. I actually did use your name as a reference in my June 18th post, Beauty For Ashes and 64 Ounces of H20 in hopes that all of those sappy social workers that I KNOW read my blog will learn something!


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