Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Too True Tues(day) #5

Here is the subject for this round of Too True Tues. The best of the worst parenting advice you ever got. So bad, you just cannot believe it was true. I thought this up after a comment from http://www.annieology.com/ when she said a social worker told her to give her son a rock to "love on" when he felt sad (crazy or homicidal, whatever). She was shocked to be told to participate in the losing of her own eye!

If you are new and want to play, just write up a fun story on some of the great (not) parenting advice you have been on the receiving end of, on your blog. Then, link yourself with the Mr. Linky stuff down there at the bottom. Then, come back and read the other stories because they are always really stinking funny!

I could not decide out of my top few, so I am going to list them. Cuz they are just that good!

1. It's easy. If you are calm, your child will be calm. That's all it takes.

(thankfully this person has now a grandchild with er, calmness challenges. Well not thankfully but you know what I mean. No, not you Tia).

2. Phrase the correction of your child as what to do, instead of what not to do.

(this has its merits with an only child. I got stuck in the first few days with Genea though. Don't lock your sister in the bathroom- um, I should say ..... what instead? Keep yourself in another room when your sister is pottying? What does that even mean? I don't have time to think up crap like that, my other kid is locked in the bathroom)

3. For every negative thing that you accidentally say you must say 5 positive things to counteract the heinous life you will devastate your child with (a little of my interpretation there.)

That was from a child- free person- obviously. Don't rip the cats tail off, it is mean, stop slamming the door no one wants to hear it, you're being horrible to... it is gross when you puke on the dinner table... that hurts when you... it is bad to kick the.... pick up the effing books you just knocked over, don't throw the...wipe up the.... you're being nasty to.... (this is the first 3 minutes of my day before my coffee and xanax) Listen, I would still be coming up with positives for the next 17 years !!!

4. When your daughter is having an uncontrollable raging meltdown that is completely disproportionate to the situation, give her something else to focus on. Like this pen.

Yep, school social worker there. I wrote about it before, but it is such a great bit of advice I had to repeat it. Seriously, I am supposed to arm my child with an object that will puncture skin as she blows up (I mean, you can perform a tracheotomy with a pen!). Here is your weapon honey, hope your meltdown ends soon! I'll be behind the door of the vault when you are done!


Have fun!


  1. Ha! Yes; anyone who suggests that "distraction" will quell a raging melt-down has just revealed that they have absolutely NO IDEA what you are talking about and the conversation might as well end right then. Forget it.

  2. Ha! This is great. I too have a daughter who knows how to throw a raging good meltdown, and temper tantrum doesn't even begin to describe it! It is unlike anything I ever witnessed in my life before she indoctrinated me. Thankfully, they are now few and far between and (knock on wood) maybe even a thing of the past. But, I still have some scars (speaking literally here) to prove they existed. (They are like the stretch marks she never gave me, I suppose!)

    Glad you're back! I laughed at your opossum reference of the last post. Perhaps I could have just taken you out to lunch? (Well, we live on the other side of Michigan, so maybe not, but if you're ever out this way, OF COURSE you're welcome! And, we'll call Annie too!)

    Will be back to link up my advice later today.

  3. I can't believe I never tried a pen haha- So when Jesse is scratching the heck out of his face from anxiety and fustration I will just hand him a pen to focus on ...if it were only that easy

  4. That first one is hilarious. I have calmly stared at rages wondering what the hell is going on and it did nothing. Sometimes it even pisses them off more.

  5. I am too lazy to write a whole post about it, but "professional" advice re: RAD is the worst. Like: "have you tried sticker charts?" "Maybe if you let him watch more tv, that would help." "Have you tried timeout?"

    I always wanted to suggest, "Maybe you should take him home and give it a try!"


  6. This week's TTT is on #4. #3 is an old one and I am not quite sure how it got there. Take it away if you can.

  7. Your post cracked me up and you are soooo right. Mine is up over at my place!

  8. I was sooo gonna write that too, if I had a computer. Thanks for the mention. Also, too. Don't you dare unlink me ;)

  9. I love that you can laugh about this. Sometimes I take bad parenting advice way too seriously. I do agree that there are good ways to approach parenting and bad ones but laughter is sometimes the best medicine of all. Thanks for sharing.

  10. I especially can't stand the people that suggest sticker charts or level charts.

    I'm sorry, but I don't run a treatment center and I don't have the time, energy or staff it takes to put this totally useless process into place. My children would love it though because they long ago learned how to manipulate it. If they want to rage all day they can, because tomorrow they can start all over (it's better than a get out of jail free card!).

    Plus it means you're "obligated" to reward them even if they are horrible in all other areas but the ones you have specifically listed. For example, yelled at, threatened, intimidated and stole from siblings, but never physically touched them so the rule wasn't broken. Let's go to Disneyland!

    This is not my worst parenting advice received - just a pet peeve. I did post on some of the bad advice we've gotten.

    Mary in TX


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