Too True Tues(day) #5

Here is the subject for this round of Too True Tues. The best of the worst parenting advice you ever got. So bad, you just cannot believe it was true. I thought this up after a comment from http://www.annieology.com/ when she said a social worker told her to give her son a rock to "love on" when he felt sad (crazy or homicidal, whatever). She was shocked to be told to participate in the losing of her own eye!

If you are new and want to play, just write up a fun story on some of the great (not) parenting advice you have been on the receiving end of, on your blog. Then, link yourself with the Mr. Linky stuff down there at the bottom. Then, come back and read the other stories because they are always really stinking funny!

I could not decide out of my top few, so I am going to list them. Cuz they are just that good!

1. It's easy. If you are calm, your child will be calm. That's all it takes.

(thankfully this person has now a grandchild with er, calmness challenges. Well not thankfully but you know what I mean. No, not you Tia).

2. Phrase the correction of your child as what to do, instead of what not to do.

(this has its merits with an only child. I got stuck in the first few days with Genea though. Don't lock your sister in the bathroom- um, I should say ..... what instead? Keep yourself in another room when your sister is pottying? What does that even mean? I don't have time to think up crap like that, my other kid is locked in the bathroom)

3. For every negative thing that you accidentally say you must say 5 positive things to counteract the heinous life you will devastate your child with (a little of my interpretation there.)

That was from a child- free person- obviously. Don't rip the cats tail off, it is mean, stop slamming the door no one wants to hear it, you're being horrible to... it is gross when you puke on the dinner table... that hurts when you... it is bad to kick the.... pick up the effing books you just knocked over, don't throw the...wipe up the.... you're being nasty to.... (this is the first 3 minutes of my day before my coffee and xanax) Listen, I would still be coming up with positives for the next 17 years !!!

4. When your daughter is having an uncontrollable raging meltdown that is completely disproportionate to the situation, give her something else to focus on. Like this pen.

Yep, school social worker there. I wrote about it before, but it is such a great bit of advice I had to repeat it. Seriously, I am supposed to arm my child with an object that will puncture skin as she blows up (I mean, you can perform a tracheotomy with a pen!). Here is your weapon honey, hope your meltdown ends soon! I'll be behind the door of the vault when you are done!

Whew!




Have fun!