Wednesday, September 2, 2009

First day of school


Lets start with Teena because hers is short. Teena went to school and came home. She was very happy and excited. Her bus was really late. The end.

The night before the first day of school, Genea had calmed down a bit from her previous state of screeching across the ceiling and when I pointed it out to her and asked her why she said, because it is almost here. School is tomorrow, it is almost here. Hmmm, interesting. Okay moving on.

Genea wet the bed and was up half the night and eventually went to sleep on the floor- her "hallmark" of massive stress. The Husband took her to school because I am really bad at that. The first day Teena went to day care when she was 3 months old he had to take her, I couldn't do it. I might still be there trying to separate (and since they closed 2 years ago that would really be dumb)! Anyway, he is encouraging and empathetic and also firm where I would be all smushy. So she froze up in her class a couple times and went into the dazed -n- glazed state where she looks half asleep and leaves her mouth open with her tongue hanging out. But, she recovered and The Husband was able to unsuction her from his leg and re- suction her to a chair and it was all good from there. I had put a pink heart on her hand with a marker as per recommendation from kate's comment a few posts down. She loved it and kept checking it before she left.

All was evidently good throughout school. Teena's return bus was really late and on the other side of the block from Genea's spot (will be addressing that with them). While I was getting Teena off the bus I saw our neighbor walking towards her house with her 2 girls, one of whom is in Genea's class. I don't see Genea.

I don't see Genea.

Where the hell is Genea???

Over the summer the first day of school the bus company had effed up her route and left her at school, so I had made damn sure that would not happen again. I spoke with the teacher. I double checked routes. I emailed the bus company and got a confirmation. I drilled Genea 200 times on her stop and what to do. The Husband confirmed with the school and teacher in the morning, that very morning. No Genea.

I called the school. They said, did I think she had gotten off at another stop? I would not know that, I said. She is supposed to be here and the bus just left and she was not on it. The school people went and looked outside for her. No Genea. They'll call the bus company and have them check the buses but they don't know where she is. The teacher put her in the line for the correct bus, they tell me. They'll call me back.

So I am standing in the middle of the street with Teena, staring around in circles looking for and listening for a bus. Enormous yellow structure with a diesel engine. Can't miss it. Several minutes go by and no one is calling me back. No enormous yellow structure. All I can think of is attachment disorder. She has attachment disorder and bipolar disorder and no one can find her. She could be riding around town, she is probably fine, but she could have gotten off at the wrong stop and is just standing there frozen on the side of the road waiting for a pedophile or a drunk driver or a pack of mean teenagers. She can't handle this. She can't. She won't be able to talk if someone tries to help her. This is going to break her. She is not a regular kid and she cannot handle this. My neighbor says, wow you are so calm I would be freaking out! Hmm mmm, I said, while thinking I don't have the luxury of freaking out right now I have to find my kid!

Probably 5 minutes after I hang up with the school, along comes an enormous yellow structure and when it stopped, a curly haired little ping pong ball exploded out of the doors and flew to me.

Ahhhhh. There she is. I asked her if she wanted to have a meltdown and pointed out this would be a good time for one. If it were me, I told her, I would throw myself a good ol' wango tango right here! No, she said, not outside. After we had been home for about an hour and it was time for "rest" ( I make them lay down quietly for an hour and rest or nap) here came the wango tango. Because it was rest time. And even though we have always for the past two and a half years, so approximately 927 times, every single day at 4 o'clock, we have always had nap or rest time, Genea threw a fit over having to have a rest. Hmmm hmmmm.

So, except for the bus issues, it went really well! Both girls need to get into a routine with their schedules, and me too for that matter. BTW, I did not do a shot of tequila Tuesday, I did pee laundry instead.

I used to be cool. Really.


  1. Poor Genea!! Poor Mommy too though! Ack what a mess.. STUPID bus company! I'd be livid!

    I'm interested in the 4 o'clock nap/rest time though.. What time do they go to bed? My 3, 4 &5yr olds all were taking nice 1-2hr naps (ok sometimes 3hr for the 3yr old, but the boy loves his sleep) every day until school started. Now 5yr is in school all day, 3&4yr olds are in preschool during the normal nap time.. I might have to start up a 3:30pm nap/rest time at my house?! I just wonder if they'll still go to bed at 8pm like normal bc O.M.G. could they use nap/rest time!

  2. your posts can always make me smile! On the first day for Jesse after school he was left behind in the hall and the teacher was trying to scramble to get all the students in line..I found him kinda wondering around dazed and confused..and that happened on campus- I could not even imagine whet was going thru your mind (well except for what you wrote) lol

  3. Oh..Im so glad I dont deal with buses..yet, thats NEXT year...Im so glad you found her! What a nightmare.

  4. It was once suggested to me by a person with letters after her name that I give a 7 yr old boy with RAD one of those rocks that have "love" carved into them so that he could put it in his pocket and feel it when he missed me.

    was so flabbergasted that she would suggest that I participate in the losing of my own eye that I didn't carry the thought out further until years later. I now write and xoxo or a heart on them somewhere where they might be nervous.

    We've been doing the full on wango tango every morning and after school since the first day. it will get better, it will get better, it will get better.

    good luck with day #2

  5. Pee laundry is much more pleasant after several shots of an adult beverage. After enough adult beverage it even becomes wildly amusing.

  6. So did Genea even think she was lost, or was all good on her end of things with the bus thingy?

    Kudos to all for holding it together (in varying degrees :)) on a stressful first day! All downhill from here, right?

  7. You're still cool as hell! Thanks for coining the phrase "wango tango." It describes it so well.

    Glad all went mostly well.

  8. Genea appears fine, but I guess we will find out in a week or two. She said she was really scared but she talked to the bus driver and said she forgot to get off the bus, so they turned around. Thats at the same time the school was calling the bus company, and school did call me about 10 minutes after to be sure she was home. Dumb asses.

    Although the girls mostly do not nap, I feel strongly that they (I)need a break in the day(when Judge Judy and Oprah come on). A time to rest quietly and regroup, reset. They go in their room and I put on a story or classical music and turn out the lights. They can quietly look at a book or play with one or two non- noise making toys. No talking, no getting out of bed for one hour.

    It doesnt always work out great, but more often than not it is a good thing. When my mom had them for 3 days she called and told me that was the best stinkin idea I had ever had LOL! Anyway, Genea goes to bed at 8, Teena at 9, and they get up at 7 am.

    THanks for calling me cool Tracy. You are more cool cuz your cat smokes cigars lol! My cats just leave poo.

  9. I almost had to read the end first to make sure everything was ok. Sitting on the edge of my seat worrying. It's what I do best.

  10. I am just bursting with pride that she told the bus driver that she'd missed her stop and needed to be taken back. I mean, come on--that's amazing!!

    (Also so proud to be mentioned on YOUR blog as having a good idea. I give kisses you can hold in your hand, slip under your pillow, put in your pocket...but this seemed like a way you could remember that--PROOF!)

    I just love girl of yours.

  11. Oh, my heart was pounding. Can't imagine what yours must have been doing. Hope Genea gets less anxious as the new routine becomes clear to her and she feels some predictability. Love love LOVE your 1-hour rest time.

  12. Um..... I was scrolling through for the comment from Heather Forbes, asking you if - well IF YOU HAD READ HER BACK TO SCHOOL BULLETIN??? If so, Heather would note - she TOLD YOU - NO BUSES! She said buses are an absolute NO-NO for the dysregulated child.

    I'm with her. Regulated me rode a bus in 7th grade and it was the worst year of my life. Primarily because of the bus. The last day of school I got permission to walk the two miles home...and I'll never forget that odd sense of peace and freedom and "Oh, if I'd only known!" (Or been allowed...)

    Why was the bus so traumatic that it still remains a painful memory? Let's see - there was the scandal of the "sex test" that was passed around. There were the dirty pictures. There was the harrassment by the older boys. The bad words of the older boys. The simulated sex of the older boys. The spraying of soft drinks by the older boys. The throwing of books by the older boys. The taking of our stuff by the older boys...etc. There were the angry yells of the bus driver. The daily one or two stops of the bus so that bus driver could both yell and focus on the 50% of the kids on the bus who should have been dropped off at the juvenile home. And, there was the time, the time, the horrible time that passed between the stress of school and seeing my dear, beloved, safe home. And I was 12! I remember practically nothing of school that year because the trauma of the bus blotted it from my mind.

    So, anyway - I am with Heather on this one.

    Maybe nap time was a mini-separation from you.

    And mentioning nap time - if you cna get your girls to do that, seems to me you've got amazing control over your household.

  13. Yikes Annie- got an opinion or 19?
    I did get Heathers newsletter and took her point into consideration. Genea is driven to school in the AM and spends about 20 minutes on the bus in pm. In The Bipolar Child, they refer to the car as "the holl-on -earth mobile". So, I have reviewed the expert opinions and made my own decision. Genea took the bus last year for 1/2 block and was able to handle it. Also, they only put kids on that are up to 5th grade. So far it is a reasonably good, well managed bus. If it turns into anything approximating the vile experience you had, rest assured she will be off it! I can change my decision at any time.
    There are a few "battles" I have selected as worth fighting for to the bloody end. Not running into the street is one. Not getting up prior to 7am. Holding hands in a parking lot. Pee belongs in the toilet only. Take one hour a day to do whatever you want but do it quietly and relaxed and in a calm way. It is one of my high priorities and we have "always" done it that way. I set it up in the beginning and in general it is as much an accepted part of the day as dinner. I also have no problems at bedtime, and the girls ask to go to bed when they are ready. Surpised?

  14. OK.....well my own traumatic bus experience [middle school, don't you know] probably intensified my opinion a bit.

    Really - IS the car is "hell on earth"....for the child or the parent? I hadn't heard that but have not read up specifically on bi-polar kids as none of mine as of yet have that particular diagnosis. My kids do pretty well in the a.m. when they are all half-asleep. If they don't do well that reminds me that we are supposed to be praying the rosary, so usually they keep hands and feet to themselves.

    Essie - I was just teasing a bit....because I know you like Heather and the proximity of her advice and your story amused me. Also, you undoubtedly know that you are my model for parenting the "difficult" child with humor and charm.

  15. Annie- throw a person an 'lol' once in a while, I seriously thought you were reaming me!

  16. Sorry.... that's what you get for having your eternal sense of humor; I'm figuring you're reading everything through laughter-inducing glasses already.


I love comments! If you agree or disagree, comment away! However if you are a butthead about it, you may be excised.


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...