freeeeeezing

It is -18 degrees today. That does not include the wind chill, which I believe is at the -30 to -45 point. Does it even matter? It would have to get more than 50 degrees warmer to be above freezing.
School was cancelled again.
And I am tired of trying to pretend to keep a positive attitude.
EVEN MY CUTICLES WANT TO LEAVE TOWN! They have risen above and away from the rest of the skin I own. I don't know what is holding my fingernails on anymore.

Today, this is what I have been thinking about. Part 1.

My bra collection is terrible. What I have are a bunch of highly technological and architecturally advanced pieces of construction that contain enough metal to be stopped by security at the airport and enough padding that I don't care if they pat me down. They are made of shiny luxury fabrics in beautiful colors and prints. The Sears Tower does not have the advances in physics that most of my bra's have. And that is how it feels wearing them, like I strapped the Sears Tower over and around the back to clip it on.

The problem seems to be that most of these boobage enhancers were made as an investment before I had children appear all over my house. Back when I cared. Back when I would go out to dinner and care. Back when I would go to work, and care. Back when I would answer the door and care. I no longer care. My goal is not to continue to perpetuate the illusion to the general public that I am nicely endowed with a body in proportion. I just want to be inoffensive. In other words, cover and smooth. That's it. Disguise any THO's, especially with this cold. That is all I care about. Oh, and not visible in color, shape or shadow under clothes. So. I would go shopping, but unfortunately, I do not care enough. There are the super expensive fancy bra's, of which I already have plenty, and bra's for those of advanced age, with the super wide bands criss crossing all over like a tic tac toe board. Or chicken wire. Don't want those either. And don't have the energy to seek out other options. I just need a regular, boring plain bra. No architecture. Cover and smooth.

Part 2

Genea does not like change, I believe we have covered that. So yesterday, when we had the snow day because it was too cold out for kids to go to school, I decided to have a low key and low expectation day. Relax, watch some Dora, play with stuff, watch some more Diego. It helped her maintain calm to keep things quiet. When I say it helped, I mean she only pee'd on my couch (in my spot, feel the love) one time. I let her play her Leapster game as long as she wanted, and kept myself and everyone else, including cats, calm in the face of meltdowns and provoking behaviors. But none of us can keep it up like that forever. And definitely not for 2 days. Going crazy would be a relief. But, I can't go crazy because I am the only adult here. Now with the weekend, we have 4 straight days together. Locked in the house. Together.

Today, Genea is a toe- walking pageant winner. Even when I remind her, she only lowers her heels briefly, then ping, back up there. Her calves are like rocks, seriously. She is sucking on her hand hiding behind the furniture. She is asking nonsense questions to bring attention to herself. Points at a table and asks me, what is this for? What is this? Snorts down all her milk in one shot then chokes and gags. I found her sleeping on the floor last night, a sure sign of stress. Stalking me. There comes a point where she does not perceive a difference in attention. Positive or negative is not relevant, she seeks all attention. Compulsively following me. Compulsively pulling on her shirt. Cannot, CANNOT occupy herself. Any ability she has developed to self direct- poof! Gone. All controls, structure and balance have to be provided for her externally. But she is trying. Me too.
*This just added... I forgot to mention the mouth thing. When stressed from an uncontrollable, Genea's mouth hangs open and she parks her tongue between her lower teeth and her lower lip. Which makes it look like she has a gargantuan tongue. Not a flattering look for anyone.

Today we are making Thank You cards for all the people who gave the girls gifts for Christmas but we were not able to see them. Because we were chasing vomit at the time, so, a lot of people. They are having a blast with it. I used stamps to put Thank You on the front of the cards then let them go to town with watercolor paints. Next step is stickers after the paint dries. Then names etc.

2 and a half days to go until Monday and back to school and routine and sameness. I may, or may not, make it. The Husband will be home in a few hours, providing adult coverage and someone who can dial a phone. Maybe I will go crazy. Ahhhh, craaaazy.