Tuesday, September 28, 2010

The World I Want for my Daughters

Country Fried Mama is hosting a blog carnival on the subject of "The World I Want for my Children".
“The world I want for my children” is an effort to support The Joyful Heart Foundation, which was founded by Law & Order: SVU actress Mariska Hargitay to help victims of sexual assault mend their minds, bodies and spirits and reclaim their lives.  Today, the foundation is at the forefront of an effort to end a disheartening backlog of tens of thousands of rape kits in labs across the country, a backlog that contributes to a rapist’s 80 percent chance of getting away with his crime.  The backlog and its detrimental effects will be the topic of an SVU episode on September 29th


When I decided to participate in this I considered our immediate world. The part of the world we directly inhabit and what I wish for my daughters as the girls they are and the women they will become. Later I thought about the world surrounding them as well as who and what they will choose to surround themselves with. I want them to be healthy in mind, body and spirit and I want no one to try to take that away from them.

In the world I want for my daughters they will be free to move about without fear.

I want them to feel safe in their own home.  I want them to be safe in their own home.

They will be able to have fun at large scale events without the worry of being attacked by someone feeling invincible by the size of the crowd or consumption of alcohol.

I want them to never be degraded sexually by the words of others when they show strength or courage.

I want them never to use the words "slut" or "whore" to universally describe another female.

I want them to freely be confident without holding back.
I want for them to never stay quiet for fear of confrontation.
I want for them to want to be liked. I want them to never betray their true selves for popularity. I would love for them to live in a world where they do not see others around them doing so.

I want them to know how to defend themselves. I want for them to never hold back in doing so.

I want them to have empathy towards others, and their intentions to generally be good.

I want them to apologize when they should. I want for them to never apologize for or minimize their strengths and abilities.

In the world I want for my daughters, no newscaster will ever refer to the sexual assault of a child as "intercourse with" a child.
No journalist will ever print words indicating a rapist "had sex with" a child.
Any time an adult touches a child in a sexual manner it is an assault. An adult who physically harms a child in a sexual manner is a rapist.

In the world I want for my daughters, rape and sexual assault will never be minimized. Such offenses will be fully and immediately prosecuted and the crime will be recognized as a heinous one with harsh long term penalties.

I have no dream that sexual crime will be ever be eradicated in our world.



  1. i like that several of yours revolve around self worth...i think that is hugey important for kids and many of those that i counsel do not have it...the bit about the newscasters as well hit home for me...

  2. I am in total agreement with you about the way the media portrays the rape of a child. It makes me very angry each time I hear or read them use the word intercourse to describe this crime.

    I also cringe when I hear women use slut or whore (even sometimes with their friends, I really don't understand that at all) we, as women, don't help ourselves when we do this.

  3. I want them to apologize when they should. I want for them to never apologize for or minimize their strengths and abilities.


  4. Wow. Just wow. I couldn't have said it any better if I tried. I'd love to post a link on my facebook page to this post, if you're okay with it.

  5. The media has a word choice problem, from calling college students and high school students children, instead of identifying them as the true adults they are. I remember in the 1980s when USAToday one day referred to "Pro-Life and Pro-Choice" and the next day it became "Pro-Choice and Anti-Abortion." It not just dumbs down our society, but it tries to redefine the values our country was built on - Crime is Crime. The media needs to stop dressing it up!! Crimes against children should have such horrendous punishment that people will think twice about committing them!!!

  6. Thank you for the nice comments. I agree, I see the media making a catastrophe out of little bits of nothing all the time and then minimizing crimes against women and children.

    Amanda- yes, thanks!

  7. I am so impressed with your post. I also posted something about this yesterday. You are so right the media plays a huge part in in the attitude of rape.


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