Ok, Who Pushed Fast Forward to New Years?

No seriously, how did this happen? Do other people know about this? Was I the only person not in on the trick? Or is it a surprise to you too?

It's NEW YEARS EVE.  RIGHT NOW!

When I find out who is responsible for this, heads are going to roll. Roll I tell you!

Okay, well since the damage has been done I'm going to move on. Happy New Year, y'all!

2010 was...... unusual. We had the arrival of the Fucktard Moron, the previous adoptive father of my daughter, when he moved in with the skank across the street. He stalked our daughter and we were granted an Order of Protection against him, but he was legally allowed to stay in the house.

However, 2010 also saw the relocation of the Fucktard Moron. So although we endured his presence for much of the year, the skank eventually tired of him once she discovered we refused to play in the Drama of her Life and she kicked him out. He came back several times over several months but finally seems to have left forever in September-ish. For the curious, Skankenho had Fucktard Moron babysitting her two children while she was out. When she returned home, she arrived with The Thing in the Red Truck who was moving in. HA! Seriously! She moved in the new boyfriend while the previous one was babysitting her children! In her house! LOL!  Ah, it's a lot funnier now that it's been a few months. *snort* lol.

2010 brought me my new friends, fellow Knitting Ninjas and Mothers of the Wango Tango, courtesy of Corey Watching the Waters. Love them, love her, MWAH to all!

2010 saw my little baby begin Kindergarten and my return to the..... hmmmm, no jobs out there...... my return to the living room from the bus stop.

I could go on and on, but really it would be very boring and the fact is our year is documented fairly well right here. I'm not a big resolution maker except for the one resolution- not to bother with resolutions anymore. Kept that one. I do believe however, that one can always benefit from acknowledging a few goals and dreams. In no particular order.....

1. Get to the Oprah show audience. This one is time sensitive, actually urgent. Ideally an appearance on the show with a makeover.
2. Fix it or forget it. I have been "meaning to" do a much better job of responding to comments, reciprocating, and answering questions. I got to either shit or get off the blog.
3. Get out more. With Husband. And others.
4. Seek job. Said job must provide killer health insurance with an affordable employee contribution that does not exceed paycheck. Yeah. 
5. Finish blog posts in a timely fashion. For example, this post. Finish it before New Years Day. LOL!

Now I am off to put on my fabulous lbd made by a fabulous, expensive designer. I have already spent an hour doing my hair and make up. We are going out to dinner at a fabulous restaurant where there are no children allowed. Then we are going to drink ourselves silly and vomit our way to 2011 the way nature intended.

Yeah, no, actually I have not changed out of my pajamas yet, being as there was no reason to, and there will not be. I put deodorant on though. Going to go watch some un-great TV and then go to bed where I will kiss my cat if I am still awake at midnight.