On that goober site Facebook I belong to a group called "Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid" (click! you can join too!). It is two women, sisters I believe, who wrote a book with that title. Both have children who are atypical and imperfect and much like myself, try to tackle the Wango Tango and all of it's teachers and therapists with humor and sarcasm. I may have mentioned in the past that I feel sarcasm is a gift that should be nurtured so you can imagine how I banged on the door demanding to be let into the group.
Anysnot, they put up prompts daily to encourage little stories or comments on the daily lives of parents and children. A day or so ago they put up the prompt "If Santa were to fill your imperfect stocking, what would you like in it?" My immediate thought was the usual...... a Xanax floated in a Bloody Mary and a new Coach handbag. Then I read the comments of people after me and they had a *ummmm* different tone. Like all altruistic and lovely. So, I would like to add to my stocking. Make no mistake, I still want my drink and my handbag but now there is more:
1. A treatment for Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). I mean something that will work. I don't care how long it takes or what the requirements are, I just want something, any ONE path to take that will effectively and permanently treat the disorder.
2. Some of those super tasty chocolate covered espresso beans.
3. Children's hair that brushes itself.
4. A neurological system for my daughter that does not sabotage her at every turn (okay, tricky to get that in a stocking but we all know Santa is magic).
5. Peace.
Okay, easy right? Santa should be able to handle my stocking without a problem. I just hope there is no hole in the toe. And, maybe I should hang up Shaq's sock just in case. FYI the above group on Facebook is a lot of fun and they are helpful too so if my link works I would recommend joining up! I know I am full of the linkies lately, I just happen to find several good ones at the same time and I like to share.
So, what would/will you want in your holiday stocking?
ps Giveaway will be announced tomorrow! I hope!
Seriously- if you send me your address I will mail you chocolate covered espresso beans. You deserve them. And by golly- if there is something I can do to brighten the day of someone else who does the Wango Tango, then I'm gonna do it!
ReplyDeleteI loved your original answer! And number three on the new list made me LOL. For real...because, that would be awesome.
ReplyDeleteIn my stocking I would like a simple, easy, quick, first time right diagnosis for S....either that or just a new brain for her, free of any problems related to fetal alcohol or drug exposure...yeah, that would be really helpful.
I want Corey's magic decoder ring for Inertia Boy.
ReplyDeleteEither that or a little light, installed in his forehead that would illuminate whenever he was triggered (that way, my little scientist-loving heart could track back to the triggering incident and figure out a way to crush crush that sucker like a cockroach or spray it with something that will make it curl up it's multi-jointed (ewww) legs and die, die, die!
I figure the peace in my household I'm really dreaming for would come as a positive consequence of having that feedback mechanism, saving Santa some work.
See...altruistic becomes me.
If they were being "altruistic," then they probably also have perfect kids, and therefore shouldn't be using the site at all.
ReplyDeleteI'll take a helmet for those heartwarming times when Princess throws her homework at my head, and earmuffs for when she fusses about how I won't let her do her homework.
yeah, I like your answer better!
ReplyDeleteI've been thinking about this a lot lately - the whole 'perfect' thing. Drives me insane. Just been to that FB page, and now think I'd like to read that book!
I'm kind of partial to Coach bags myself, but if I have to get altruistic, I guess I'd ask for a little understanding for my complicated kids. BTW, I think I have to find that FB group.
ReplyDeleteA little late, I know. I've been busy!
ReplyDeleteI would like the Bubba handbook of instructions. Or the owner's manual. Or even just the chapter "Fake Pains and Your Sleepless Nights."
That would be AWESOME.
Also, red wine.