Tuesday, October 26, 2010

La Eye of Pink

I think Eye of Pink sounds so much more elegant and pleasant than Pink Eye, which sounds like something a person would get after questionable interaction with a rabbit. 

Turns out there was a reason it felt like someone was kicking my eyes out from the inside. It was actually happening. I got some sort of virus apparently, that made me sick. The sick stuff then traveled into my eye, pushing it partly shut and turning it bloody red. There did not seem to be any cause for alarm (I am Mutha'!) until several days went by and my eye started to swell up, along with that half of my face. It felt like someone was holding a butane torch to it. Still, you know, I thought it would probably just go away but alas, no. It was when I realized 5 days had gone by and I was too tired and shakey even to knit, that I better go see a professional.

I went to a local walk in clinic where I was seen by Doogie Howsers younger brother, who kept asking the same questions. Do you have a cough? Are you congested? Do you have a cough? (*haaaack* no cough *haaaack*). He constantly referenced his computer where I imagine he had hidden crib notes. Step one- take temperature, over 98.5 is bad. Step two- ask if patient has a cough. Anyway, he poked at the things that looked like they would hurt and they did.

So I have La Eye of Pink, Le Virus, and sinusitits (sounds exotic enough on it's own) with a 60% blockage. Now, I'm not sure what a 60% blockage means exactly, but I'm guessing the ideal is NO blockage, so that can't be good. Plus it's more than half, if I am doing the math correctly and I know that more than half is worse than less than half. Well, I think. Going off my base assumption that 0% is the goal anyway. Also, I have gangrene in my leg. Ha ha, no just kidding. Just seems like I have everything else but that! Did I mention the total exhaustion? I am wiped out. Wrecked. I feel like I have a raging hangover but got to have exactly zero of the fun.

Okay, that's my status update. The End.

13 comments:

  1. You poor pink thing...

    Wishing you health adn better days.

    Peace

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  2. What a lousy way to feel! I hope, now that you know what it is, it will clear up quickly. Glad the girls didn't catch it :)

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  3. ewwww.

    unfortuneately, i get pink eye a lot. its gross. hope its gone soon.

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  4. So sorry! The good news is that antibiotics tend to work pretty quickly, esepcially for the pink eye. Hope you're feeling better soon and that your kids haven't destroyed your house in the process of you getting better!

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  5. Aww, you poor thing! I had pink eye once and am glad it has never come to visit me again.. It sucked majorly! Here's to hoping your episode is over quickly!

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  6. I'm sorry about your pinkeye. Don't give it to the kids or they will have to stay out of school.. SUCK.

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  7. Have Mercy, that sounds terrible. You did not say if you got any good meds? Did you? Usually those Doogie Howser types prescribe a lot of good stuff. That pink eye should be wiped out in one day with the good eye drops, the ones that cost about $120. I know from experience. Usually it happens right before we go on vacation. Hope you feel better soon. Thank God you have kept your sense of humor because you keep me laughing every time i read your blog!

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  8. When my big kids were little kids they got pink eye entirely too many times. They always argued--with me, the doctor, complete strangers--that they did NOT have the pink eye. They had the RED eye.

    Can't really deny that!

    If you go to the doc at the first sign, it's not more than an annoying thing. Wait a few days and you get, well, what you have--fever, cough, chills, the wild desire to poke out your own eyes, and an aversion to light that would make a vampire proud.

    Definitely do NOT give it to your kids--they get an all expense paid vacation at home. Schools frown on pink eyes!

    Feel better soon!

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  9. How do you know when to use "la" and when to use "le?" I know no French, which is seriously hampering my ballet skills.

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  10. get better and defintley do not share the germs withthe children, sharing is good but you so do not want them home with that.
    Perhaps some good chocolate would help

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  11. Are the drugs working yet?

    And Corey's right: any sign of symptoms and your kids must stay home from school. It's a complete drag!

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  12. Hmmm...since you feel crappy anyway, why dont you have a drink? That makes sense right? Im kidding, kind of...I hope you feel better soon. Stay healthy.

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  13. Pauvre bebe! My youngest just got over this. $100 for a teeny tiny bottle of drops! He'd apparently had it for almost a week, but his eyes really were just barely pink so I thought it was allergies.

    Hugs and prayers that you recover quickly and your kids don't get it.

    Mary in TX

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