Anti- depressants vs. placebo

In a striking coincidence, the same week that I wrote a blog post about using psychiatric medications, Newsweek put out an article on the subject. Maybe they read here, who knows. There are several followers who have no avatar on their following icons (just kidding).



Their article is called The Depressing News About Antidepressants. It discusses the efficacy of chemical pills versus placebo pills. They included that way cool picture of all those pills representing different parts of the brain.

It is a very interesting and informative article which takes the position that antidepressants have almost no effect on depression. It states that the results people report are due to the "placebo effect" instead, basically that people think they will get better and so they do.

The article is specific to antidepressants. It does not address other forms of medication used for psychiatric disruptions.

If you actually have time to read all four pages of the article, try to squeeze in another few minutes for the comments. It was interesting to me that the comments were so bland, and noncommittal. At least the ones I read. I thought the comment writers would be all fired up for sure!

What thread?

Teena is the type of child that feels like since my body was her home for 9 months, I should continue to extend that hospitality to her at her discretion, indefinitely. Which is basically all day every day, with her bony little elbows and wild flailing arms and legs. Anyway, my mistake. I thought that whole pregnancy bit was more of a temporary rental process but whatever. She is also an obnoxiously curious child with a super sonic flapping mouth and, evidently, no filter to action or thought.

A week ago or so, Teena was sitting on my lap with her head jacked up under my chin for no good reason other than she likes to be there. As usual she twisted around, jabbing and poking at me using my clothes and, most memorably, my boob to right herself and keep from falling. She caused no less than seven bruises turning to face me to say "oops Mama I sowwy I hurt you", then she got distracted. Distraction is something we deal with on such a regular basis that both my girls, ages 4 and 6 can accurately both define and use the word in a sentence. But I digress. Ahem. Teena's words sort of drift off as her focus moves to my face and her squinty little eyes peer intently at mine. Here we go.

Teena: Mama, you got somefing in your eyes
Mama: huh?
Teena: Yeah, you got somefing in your eyes. Don't you know you have somefing in your eyes?
Mama: huh?
Teena: You didn't put that stuff in your eyes Mama? That stuff doesn't bother you? You don't care if you have stuff in your eyes? Mama? Mama?
Mama: huh?
Teena: You got stuff in your eyes Mama! It's like thread, it looks like thread. You didn't put thread in your eyes Mama? You don't like to have thread in your eyes?
Mama: Teena, there is no thread in my eyes.
Teena: YESH, YESH there is thread in your eyes, its right there (poke/jab/blind me). You got red thread in your eyes. You didn't think there was thread in your eyes, right Mama. Right? You didn't know it was in there right? Right?
Mama: Teena, there is no..... oh wait..... red thread....... is it like lines?
Teena: YESH! Mama yesh! You like that red stuff in your eyes? You put it there because you like it? You wanted red stuff in your eyes?
Mama: *sigh* no Teena, I don't want red stuff in my eyes. That's what happens to big people when they don't get enough sleep. (Note I am not one to miss out on an incidental learning moment) That's because someone pee'd the bed last night and someone else got up and was walking around and so people kept waking me up when I was supposed to be sleeping.

Incidentally, Teena and her sister both have bright clear eyes. Not a thread in sight.

Psychiatric Medications and Children

It never fails to amaze me, and not in a good way, to hear a person say they are of the opinion that using psychiatric medication is "taking the easy way out".

How can you possibly be serious.

The stress, the rage, the uncontrollable feelings. The sadness, the anxiety, the constant companion of worry. Feeling not good enough. Feeling too good. Feeling as if there is a force pulling you down every moment of every day.

Knowing, every day, that you are wrong. You are off. Not good enough. Everyone else gets it. Everyone else can do it.

Fear of the dark. Fear of perpetrators. Fear of paper. Fear of germs. Fear of people. Fear of lint.

Feeling like the lights are too bright and the sounds are too loud. Like someone ruffling your hair is the equivalent of sandpaper in between your fingers. Smells and tastes are too strong. Feeling always off balance. Feeling spacey and unsure. Feeling like your head is swirling when you are lying still.

People do not make sense to you and you cannot trust them.

Nothing, no matter what you do, no matter what you think, seems to help. Maybe you can alleviate some of it for a short time with your "coping skills", but it always comes back stronger and stronger. You cannot sleep, or you cannot wake up. Food is unattractive to you or you are always uncomfortably hungry or sometimes both.

People around you think you want to be this way. They think that if you just tried harder you could be better. Just focus on the positive.

You cannot trust your own brain to give you an accurate depiction of the world around you. YOUR OWN BRAIN!

Think about that, really sit and think about it. Look at your child. Is there anyone who could use a break more? Allowing the tiny advantage of possibly balancing brain chemicals that do not do their job is not taking an easy way out of anything. Rest assured there is no magic pill that will cure your child's past, present or future. What you might be able to achieve is that extra 1/2 second to process before exploding, to think before acting, and to interpret the actions of others with accuracy instead of threat. That extra 1/2 second that everyone else has automatically.

Please think back to the people you know who have mental illness. Now go through and find all the folks who are successfully managing their mental illness without medication. Seriously. I do not mean people who live on their own using social services or family to provide their food and rent. I mean people with jobs, in positive relationships with stable living conditions and without legal issues.

Most people around us don't know that Genea takes psychiatric medication. It's on a need to know basis and most people don't. Of those who do know, about half are judgemental in a negative way. I asked one close family member the above question, how many people she knew who were able to take care of themselves and she quickly said "none". Just as I was about to crow my point to her she clarified, "I mean, I don't know anyone with mental illness". I was stunned.

"What about your brother?" I asked her. "Your brother had agoraphobia and didn't leave the house for weeks at a time. He had bipolar disorder, probably OCD and committed suicide."

"Oh", she said. "You think that's what it was?" I was silent for a moment not believing what I had just heard. "He used to wash the mail" I reminded her. "He boiled pots of water on the stove everyday and poured them out on the floor".

This is my own personal opinion about medication for psychiatric disorders. There are certainly other ways to look at the issue and everyone has their own take for their own reasons. The medication on its own is controversial. Using these medications on children is even more controversial, I know this. I also know that if my daughter had Lupus for example, no one would tell her to "suck it up". If she had Scarlet Fever, no one would tell her to change her attitude and try harder.

I welcome all opinions, whether in agreement or not. Just be respectful please.

The pediatrician thinks I am awful

About a year ago Teena was sick. I don't really remember the signs or symptoms she showed, just that it was enough to make us think we should take her in to see the doctor. It was a Saturday, flu season, and so we saw a woman who was new to us, another pediatrician.

To start with, I am one of those awful people who doesn't care if her kids get sick. I don't sanitize. I'm not anti- bacteria. I just don't worry about it. I am more of a parent who says, go ahead and lick the floor. It will taste nasty and you won't do it again, instead of me screaming at you for the next 5 years as you try to sneak licking the floor whenever I turn my head. I think it is important to clean the floor at least once a year, so it is fine. Reasonably clean. Anyhow, immunities. Every time a child gets sick they build up immunities that will protect them throughout their lives. So I don't try very hard to prevent them getting sick. Now, I am not courting cancer god forbid. I don't let them smoke cigarettes for example, or suck cans of roach killer. We don't drink water out of our faucets or toilet. But they get little colds and viruses once in a while and I don't sweat it. Eh. Here's your tissue. Don't leave it on the floor.

So I took Teena to the Unknown Doctor that day. I'm remembering now it was a wave of swine flu that prompted me to take her in. She was lethargic. Tired. Quiet. For the kid who won't even slow down to drain her bladder, it's notable. She can't stop talking because our house is boring, in her humble opinion. So when she does shut up, it is notable.

Our regular pediatrician, Dr. Cindy, is great. She and I see eye to eye on things. I don't have a lot of things, but I have a few. I expect to talk about whatever the problem is and I expect to be informed. I then expect us to make a decision based on our discussion. I expect that my opinion will be respected. That's all. She is used to me. But Unknown Doctor was not. So when she asked me if I had given Teena any medication for her symptoms I said no. I told Unknown Doctor that Teena rarely slows down unless she is sick. When she is sick, it is my opinion that she needs to relax and recoup. Rest her body, take in liquids and let nature do its thing.

Unknown Doctor was clearly horrified with me. She gave me The Stink Eye right then and there and authoritatively informed me that I could and should be treating Teena's symptoms with over the counter cold medicine, pain reliever and fever reducer. I don't know, maybe its a good thing that I am a parent now as opposed to 15 years ago. Because back then I would have told off the doctor, pitched me a righteous fit, and left. Probably would have been formally invited never to return too.

That day, I fake- smiled, nodded, and assured Unknown Doctor in my best nicey- nice voice that I would immediately take action. Yep.

See, my opinion is that the fever serves a purpose. Lethargy is the body forcing itself to rest and heal. A headache, congestion things like that, are discomforts. They make life unpleasant but they don't hurt. They don't cause lasting damage. Ultimately the person will be stronger. Cold medicine though, that is questionable. There are massive amounts of dye in that stuff. Side effects are unpleasant. A minor fever won't burn the brain, but aspirin can cause bleeding in the stomach. Chemicals marinating in preservatives.

Having said all of the above, I crossed a personal line earlier this week and started Genea on her 4th psychiatric medication. I had, for some reason, the number 3 in my head as the limit to the amount of medications I would allow her to be prescribed. Pretty random, that number. I will write much more about that in the next week or so. We are taking one other med down slowly but still, four. It is a lot.

So, I am interested in what other people do when your kids are sick. Do you let them suffer through it? Or give 'em a whopping dose of something and send them back out to play? Do you hate to see them so miserable that you do everything you can? Or set them up with a TV and some clear soda to carry them through?

Adopting from Haiti

With the devastating news of tragedy after tragedy occurring in Haiti, many people are wondering what will happen to the children already orphaned there, numbering almost 400,000 as well as what will happen to all the children newly orphaned.

I noticed that I have been getting some visitors doing keyword searches on Haitian orphans, evacuation and adoption. I did a post recently pertaining specifically to children in Haiti who were officially adopted by Americans but who had yet to "come home" for one reason or another, usually paperwork based. I cannot imagine the horror of knowing your child, waiting impatiently as month after month turns into a year and then another and another. Your defenseless baby relying on unknown caretakers. The country's government a mess on a good day, now literally and physically a shambles. An uncontrollable tragedy occurs like an earthquake and suddenly your child is not just helpless anymore but stuck possibly forever in a situation that is hopeless. Just writing about it makes me shudder. Living it? I don't know a word strong enough.

I do not have any good information about Haiti, its government or its children. So I apologize if you stumbled in here hoping for a resource. However, I happen to know of 2 exceptional resources available. Here they are:

Creating a Family
The above will take you directly to Dawn Davenports blog where she is posting the most up to the minute information about the plight and progress of children in Haiti. Just about anything you want to know about the process is available on her site. And, to top it all off she does a podcast/radio show about adoption and just put up a program discussing all the current issues surrounding post- earthquake Haitian orphans.

Watching the Waters
This is a "mom" blog by a woman who adopted 5 children from Haiti prior to the earthquake. If you think you are interested in adopting, you will find a genuine report on the day to day parenting of previously neglected, abused and abandoned traumatized children. I highly recommend reading Corey's blog if your interest is strong enough to lead to action. She tells it like it is. There are rainbows and butterflies, and the depths of living a nightmare trying to heal what well may be unrecoverable.

Little Bits of Snick

Yeah, snick is not what I was thinking for the title of this post but I do want to be user friendly.

I am sooooooooo happy for the children of Haiti who are moving into their new lives in the United States as I click. The process well intended, continues to hit snags and bumps of paperwork and policy but the right people are making the right calls and overriding some of the b.s. Which is freakin' AWESOME!!!

Watching This Emotional Life has abruptly altered the way I see Genea and how I interpret her behavior. Its like a rattlesnake snuck up behind me and suddenly... ch ch ch ch ch... rattled my brain off of its stem. That is after only watching half of the first segment. The new research being done is not hopeful, but taking it to the next step might be.

I have been really sick. It seems selfish to whine about feeling sick, with life so precarious in other parts of the world right now. But it is my excuse for slacking. I hope to be back up and going in the next few days.

I see there are some new people who have left comments and joined in the "followers" box. I love to go back through and visit blogs and leave further comments but haven't been able to for the past few weeks. I will though! I see you! I am not being rude! Well, maybe I am, but I don't mean to and I'm gonna' fix it!

I saw my adoption worker on TV talking about Haiti. She still talks out of both sides of her mouth. She manages to say 2 distinctly opposing opinions simultaneously. It is both amazing to hear and annoying beyond the pale. I find I still just want to scream at her... "what are you saying... what does that mean...?".

Genea lost a tooth, one of her front incisors. In just a day or two, her gum split from the base of the tooth all the way up to the upper jaw bone. It was terrifying to see it. I spent half a day looking up on line trying to find out what kind of special disease might have caused it, what syndrome leads to a portion of your gum gashing down to bone. I mean, the whole lip side of her gum had split open! She compulsively pulls at her teeth so I thought maybe that was it. Turns out to be reasonably normal for a baby tooth to come out front ways. Huh. No one told me that. It was not explained in the owner's manual.

Genea was sitting having a cookie a few nights ago, when out of nowhere she got up and walked over to me and gave me a hug and a kiss and said, I hope you feel better, then went and sat back down and finished her cookie. Fabulous!

I finally gave up waiting for Teena to put her socks on one day and I laid down on the floor. She sat down and leaned her back into me and kept putting on her socks. She has got to be the slowest moving child on earth. I swear some days she even moves backwards. Anyway, she is talking and talking, yammering and yammering away as always. Finally I snapped at her, TEENA be quiet and put your socks on! She said "It's all your fault Mama, you laid down and whenever you do that, it makes me want to sit with you, and then I talk, and you distracted me". What is disturbing here is that her entire excuse works. It's a pant load of course, but it is all logical and connected with all the angles covered. Two words for this child..... Law. School.

I bought a hot water bottle as per Kate's recommendation, for my bed. It looks like an enema bag, but I double checked the box to make sure, it is a hot water bottle. I stick it in the bottom of my bed and it keeps things down there warm and lovely all night long. I have nick- named it Jermaine Jackson, which The Husband thinks is weird. But if you have been watching The Jacksons Family Dynasty, I think you will agree it makes perfect sense.

Evacuate the Orphans in Haiti

Excuse, after excuse after excuse, on and on and on.

In Haiti right now are hundreds of thousands of orphaned children, both economic and literal. I have heard good ideas for how to help them and for every great idea I come across, I find 3 oppositions. At least 3. Different ways of saying oh hell no.

The orphans who have adoptive families in the United States need to be granted immediate evacuation. I can understand that the building housing the vast volumes of paperwork is destroyed. I also understand that the personnel in charge of processing the vast volumes of paperwork have either died or are attending to their families and friends. But I know there are duplicates out there. There are copies and there are probably multiple copies. Can we please forget for this moment in time that the process of adoption is specifically developed to be redundant, overbearing and intimidating, with futile expenses saddled onto every facet and with arduous steps so mangled in useless subsets that it grinds mercilessly into its own impediment at every turn? Can we please just forget that for a minute? For a month?

Can we say that for the next month or two or six that if you have passed your background check and completed your home study that we will find your child and bring her to you? That for just this moment in time we can ignore the maze and go straight to the goal line. That if you have been matched with a child in Haiti, we will get you your child and we will get him out of that unbearable mess of misery and death, filth and trash, illness, starvation and dehydration. Out of the pain. That we will get her home to you safe. That instead of the focus on legalities, passports, visas, immigration and all the other fussed up government policy and regulation we will be HUMAN.

It's not right that people adopting from Haiti have had children withering in orphanages for years. It's so very very wrong that a child waits 2 to 3 years for a family when one is waiting so specifically for them. But now? Now? Now, if we leave these children as they are it is unforgivable. The people of this country can literally change the direction of a river. Surely we can move small children into safety. Into their new homes, with their adopting families.

I know, we have to have codes. We have to have forms. We have to have complex indecipherable regulations. We have to have checks and balances and we have to be sure no child is placed with a pedophile, an ax murderer, an abuser. We have to use a minimum of 15 different government agencies to process one simple child moving into one simple family, with a minimum of 3 separate people working in each position, each one confusing the situation all the way around, each defining the same regulations with their own perspective.

A newsperson pointed out that simply bringing all of Haiti's orphans to the U.S. could result in complications later. Some of the children might not be real orphans. Some might have extended family who want them. That's not what I am saying. I am saying, children who have identified families here should come here. Now. Adoption agencies know who the families are. The families know who their children are and where they are. The orphanage staff has often met the families and can vouch for them. It just needs to get done.

I had heard earlier tonite that one orphanage was being evacuated to the U.S. but now I am reading that it is stalled. Read about the Bresma orphanage here. Coincidentally, the article I was hoping to cite optimistically turns out to reinforce my point. The process of adoption has torqued out of control holding children back from families who wait.

Can we just.... not? How about if this time we just..... DO.

Get Your Cheap On--- Too True Tues(day) #12

Too True Tues(day) is your time to tell it like it is! Let the truth be known. Sing it loud, sing it proud. It is your chance to confess, let out your embarrassing secrets, and share with the world. Let it all out and let the truth set you free. This week, tell us how cheaptastic you can be. Now, everyone buys store brand toilet paper and aspirin when funds get tight. That doesn't count, I am afraid you are going to have to dig deeper. Buying generic cereal and putting it in an empty box of Cocoa Puffs for the kids type of deeper.


If I hear the phrase "in these economic times", or "in this economic climate" I am going to go ballistic. Anyway, it got me thinking about some stuff. Now, even before The Recession, I had the foresight and financial savvy to invest our savings in crap from The Dollar Tree, where it holds its value to this day. Not like GM. I buy as much as I can there, trying marginally to avoid things with toxic metals and such. But the real dirty truth goes waaa- haaaay- haaaaay beyond any dollar store junk and crap.

I love swiffer products. Their commercials make me want to gouge out my ears or blow something up, but their stuff is cool! Especially that stupid mop. That stupid mop is double rigged with two, count 'em two, products that have to be purchased separately and have to be continuously replaced. Which is like, a quadruple whammy. And I am not a fan of being whammied. So, instead of buying mop pads over and over and throwing them in the trash (oooh, wait, I can call myself "green" on this instead of cheap!) I bought a bunch of washcloth sized rags for super cheap. They just attach right to the business end of the mop, then I throw them in the washer with the pee clothes! Go me!

The other thing with that stupid mop, is that their cleaning fluid bottle is specifically designed to be used with their mop. You can't use any other type of juice with it, as the bottles won't fit. You can't take off the cap and fill it with whatever cleaning juice is cheapest and on sale, because they have jacked up the cap to be tamper proof and you can't remove it without damaging it. But having that bottle attached to the mop so that it sprays pre-cleaning juice all over your floor, that is just too good to leave go. So what I do, is drill a hole in the bottom of the used bottle, which then gets turned upside down in the side of the mop handle, then fill it with whatever was on sale that week! Go me again!

A few other cheaps I get on with:

• I have a whole tray in a drawer for plastic take out utensils that weren't used. Many times I wash them and re-use.
• If a kid wears a diaper at night and she gets up in the morning and it is almost completely dry, she is expected to save it for the next night and use it again. This is my most shameful cheap, I think. Which is why it is sort of hidden in the middle of my list here.
• No clean clothes are allowed near a laundry basket. Both girls have a shelf in their closet for "used" clothes. If it is going in the laundry, I want to see a big stain, or smell something foul. Otherwise, it is not dirty enough yet. "Used" clothes get re-worn until there is actual dirt visible or there is a stench (ok, maybe that is just because I don't like doing laundry, but it saves my effort).
• I re- use gift bags until the glue disintegrates.
• Store brand is our friend. Go white and olive green!
• I save the butts off the ends of bread in the freezer and use them all at one time to make a "strata" type dish. Sometimes they are saved for months.

Edited and added: I forgot that I keep empty milk jugs next to the sink so when I need to run water until it comes out hot, I fill the milk gallons with the unused water and use it on plants, fish and cats later.
Edited and added #2: I think of more stuff as I read other peoples! I turn off the heat at night in the whole house except for the bedrooms, where I turn it to 65. Kind of freezing cold in the winter sometimes here! The lowest my thermostats will go is 55 though.


OKAY! So that is this weeks TTT! Now, you really want to play, I know you do. And just think if I really do follow through on my threat to make things up for people who don't participate, well, you sure don't want it to happen this week. It is easy to play. You write up a little post on your blog linking back to here, and then enter your information into Mr. Linky down there so everyone can share in your *ahem* fun!