Guess what time it is? It's time for teacher- parent conferences!
I'm trying to avoid mine. I just do not want to go. I'm an adult and so I can make these decisions for myself right? I do not have to do anything I don't want to do anymore, that's the deal.
I just don't want to hear it. I know Genea is doing poorly. I am well aware that she has taken some of her RAD fun out into the public now and her work is showing it. I know she is peeing herself all over town. I don't know what the heck to do about it anymore.
For our first conference, the teacher and I sat down and she started with this, "So! Do you have any questions or concerns you want to bring up first!".
Internally sighing out the entire tidal volume of my lungs and briefly closing my eyes so she would not see them roll back in my head I said, "yeeeeeeeeeeeessssssssss......................... I guess................ there are a few things................... ".
I was not informed that she had blocked out a 45 minute slot for me.
We are at an ugly point here at home where we cannot help Genea with her homework. Somehow she took the help that we gave and ran with it. It started taking her longer and longer to do her assignments. She began to have more and more "questions" about things she either just did, or we just explained to her, or she did all day at school just fine. When she realized we would not give her the answers it became a jumping off point for the wango tango and then for sure it would not get done. More wango tango. One night recently she came out of her homework spot to The Husband, getting the same math problem wrong over and over. She had a few incorrect but got fixated on this one. It got to where I thought, she should have gotten the right answer by accident by now! She did not. Probably eight to ten times over an hour she came out with that problem done incorrectly. I was ready to give. Also I was ready to scream and throw myself off a bridge. It came time for our evening routine when we wind down to bedtime with a small snack. Like a cookie. The Husband told Genea, this is your last chance, fix these 3 problems correctly or you will have missed the snack time.
Like Rainman staring at a box of toothpicks, my child ran to her homework spot and returned in under 2 minutes with the whole page done correctly.
How do you explain that kind of crazy to a regular person? It makes no sense and so the regular person will search the files in their brain for a slot that fits. Take your pick of the slots available. Mom is nuts. Dad is dumb. Kids do not do that so what are they doing to that kid?
So yes indeed, I DID happen to notice that this is my 3rd reminder. And by the way, since the system is set up to accommodate the entire district, I happen to have not signed up for my other daughters conference either. Call off your dogs, I will do it, I just don't want to. I mean I really don't.
That's where we are right now. We are stuck. I haven't felt like writing much because I am so tired of how we are living that I almost cannot stand to relive it long enough to write it down. Oh my unholy hell we are so stuck.
Unreasonable. Irritable. Escalated. Labile. Defiant. Argumentative. Explosive. Having fun yet? Me neither.
I have decided we need to get back into regular therapy. I have decided this periodically over the years and it has always ended in failure. You know how all the books say you should interview a therapist first to find out how much adoption experience they have, then their attachment experience, then their style and personal beliefs? I have never gotten that far. Seriously. I get to this........ Do you take our insurance? Usually NO. If YES, I continue to...... Does this therapist see children? Usually NO. If YES I move on to...... does the therapist have current openings? Then, NO. I have never been able to get past that one. I have been offered wait lists. I don't need a wait list. What does your wait list know about adoption and attachment? Right. Nothing.
Stuck. We are stuck and this is your 3rd reminder.