Monday, January 24, 2011

Rewind. Remind.

I got to thinking that I have a few posts out there that I put up which suggested a conclusion was coming that I never posted. You know, in the "I'll let you know how it turns out" sort of fashion. So I decided to hunt some down and put out the updates. Just for fun. I originally posted this just over a year ago. If you are so inspired, click on the title below. It will take you to the original post where you can read the original comments if you wish, which were hilarious. Here it comes.


I would use real curse words if it weren't for the blogs that list people's post titles. Rest assured I am thinking in big, bad, ugly curse words right now.

Fifteen years ago, give or take 2 years -I forget, I married the man I love for better or for worse. Sadly, the "worse" became quickly evident. The man I married, my baby Daddy, is an only child. He argues valiantly, and frequently, against the stereotype with his words. His upbringing was just like everyone elses. Exactly the same, only there was one of him. The fact that his parents let him select the radio station in the car was due to his parents being so exceptionally cool, not at all because he was the only one there, his parents were entirely focused only on him, and there was no one else to argue with about it, which are just a few of the opinions I had suggested. So, he insists that his life was never based in any way, on the fact that he was the only child in the house and every thing and everything anyone did, originated with the idea of caring for him, or making him happy in some way.

Not that I have any bitterness. Or envy. Whatever. Anyway.

So, one might imagine that living with someone brought up in such a way, would have advantages and disadvantages. I am not here to discuss the advantages, should I ever think of one. When it comes to disadvantages, if I were a different sort of blogger (the divorced kind for example), I could have a list but I don't. I do however, have one particular issue.

The man takes the last of everything. He does it with no regard for anyone else alive on the plant or in the same home. He will ague insistently that this is just me being picky. He ate the last of the chocolate ice cream when I was pregnant, people. Yes you read that correctly. Yes it was 5 years ago- so? Appalled aren't you? You should be. So you just take whichever side you think deserves your support and read on.

Here is the part that hurts. I have had to resort to hiding certain items of food that I might need later. Such as cookies. I can't hide ice cream, so I just gave up on buying that at all. But he will think nothing of masticating his way through an entire box of cookies while I sleep. Leaving me to find an empty shell in the recycling bin the next day. And cursing. Wildly.

So the other day I was in the store buying up a bunch of suck ass crap like cleaning supplies, bleach, laundry soap and other things that just mean more sucky work for me, and I bought some cookies. Really fancy cookies, that are pricey and only have like, 8, in the bag. Chocolate chunk brownie cookies. Mmmmmm.




It is really bad, because I so clearly remember taking the action of hiding them in the first place. I deliberately removed them from the bag of cleaning crap and put them in our bedroom..... and that is where it all goes blank. BLANK!


Update: you know, I eventually found those cookies but it took a long time. It was at least a month before it happened. I knew I had put them somewhere The Husband would be very highly unlikely to look but I just blanked out after that. It turns out I had put the bag of cookies in my closet, by that pile of "dry cleaning" that everyone has that never goes anywhere! 
Sure enough, a month later they were still there and you know what else?


  1. When I first started reading this post (before I got to the part about the cookies) I started thinking.....Essie posted about some missing cookies one time....I wonder if she ever found those cookies. Then reading further finding out that this was indeed about the cookies and that you DID find them made me ROTFLOL. At least you know I read AND REMEMBER everything you post.
    Thanks for the retro giggles. It made me laugh as hard this time as the first time. :D

  2. Best of Post:

    "if I were a different sort of blogger (the divorced kind for example)"

    "I have had to resort to hiding certain items of food that I might need later. Such as cookies."

    I don't care for the word 'lurking' (it seems so nefarious) but that's what I've been doing, seeing as I've commented perhaps 5 times in the last two years. Two of those times may have been prompted by de-lurking....ummmm....prompts.

    Thanks for taking the time to share interesting bits of your life. I dig your blog!

  3. I am just so pleased that I am not the only one who has piles of "dry cleaning" that never goes anywhere. More often than my actually taking it to the dry cleaners, it will happen that after long enough I will decide that it is not WORTH dry cleaning, or doesn't fit anymore, or it will be completely out of style, and it will go from the "Dry Cleaning" pile to the "St. Vincent de Paul" pile; that pile is also slow, but a couple of times a year it moves. The other thing that occasionally happens is while I'm gone, my husband goes on a rare work "binge" and will WASH all those items, making them completely unwearable. (But of course I don't really miss them since they've already been in that pile for so long.) In fact, there is even a strange sort of relief.

  4. so funny. My dh eats the last of everything too without any regard for others but he was the oldest of 4 so....maybe its not due to the only child fact just personality type. Maybe its a guy thing. women, even women who were only children, I can't see ever doing that on purpose since we are conditioned from birth to be nice.

  5. I had to laugh out loud at this one. I am notorious for putting things in a "special place" and then can't find them.

    The things I am currently hunting for is new coffee decor for my kitchen. I bought it about two years and just painted my kitchen a couple weeks ago. Still looking...

  6. With a cookie name like that, I would search for them for a month too and would probably still eat them! Yummy!

  7. I think I just woke Jupiter up, I laughed so loud. At my house, though, I have the opposite problem. My friend will absolutely NOT eat the last of anything, even if it's one spoonful left of yogurt, so in the fridge it sits, while I walk around mumbling "JUST EAT THE THING ALREADY AND GET IT OUT OF MY FRIDGE!" He's not an only child though.....he's the oldest. As am I. So I guess we are trained THAT way instead.

  8. I seriously thought he found them and ate them. My husband used to eat the last of everything too, until I whooped his ass enough times, and he stopped. Now he asks first before he eats ANYTHING. How's that for some training? LOL

  9. This is so funny! I remember when you originally posted it and I LMAO!!! I would have ate them, too.

  10. Thanks for the two-fer there ania! Lets see what can we say instead of "lurker"..... eyeballer? Sneaky eyeballer?

    TM you gotta find that coffee decor! It sounds cute!

    I don't buy it if it has to be dry cleaned anymore. The exception I allow myself is if it is cheap enough to wear until is it dirty and then disposed of. LOL!

    I don't know if it is a woman thing, it might be. I am the oldest and you better believe I was trained to never take the last of anything. So I have a ton of stuff with 2 drops left.

  11. My husband is an only child and he does the same thing! My dad does too though... I think it may be a man thing! They are pretty self absorbed that way:) I have started eating the last thing on purpose.... and he don't like it either! Ha ha

  12. I remember that post; glad you found those cookies! Dry cleaning is way too much work--extra errand and it's so expensive. When I still had dry cleaning items I gave up and started handwashing them. Don't remember ruining anything. Oh well.


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