#Oprahfail

Here I am standing outside of Oprah's house in Chicago (in November). I waited patiently to be invited in for dinner, and perhaps a makeover. We would have chit- chatted about life and books, and I would have shared idea's for her next book club selection. You all would have thanked me because I would never have suggested anything by  Charles Dickens. Not even his grocery list. Anyway.

Don't I look patient? It was cold, and getting dark and still, my phone never rang. No butler came jogging out of the building with a lovely handwritten invitation on beautifully monogrammed paper.

Here I am still waiting.

No, it did not get brighter out. I was playing with the edit settings on the camera. I clearly need a makeover as you can see, I am wearing dark pants with bright white running shoes! Note that I am still waiting. Note that I am not a patient person. I got distracted by this shiny thing.

The big enormous Ferris Wheel at Navy Pier. While I was waiting (and getting cold, hungry and crabby) we decided to take a ride. I was sure there was no way Genea was getting on this thing. Even Teena, who fears nothing, was intimidated. We get up close and Genea starts saying ....... OH no, I am not getting on THAT! To which I was all empathetic and stuff. You know like....... oh honey, I know it looks scary but I really think you would like it..... won't you please try? To which The Husband says....... knock it off, you're going on. And she did!


Here is Teena

                   

 

And here is Genea!

Note that we are riding up past Oprah's house on the Ferris Wheel. It did not help. My pictures went wonky here, I don't know why.

So, that was Oprah Fail #77

(I lost track of how many Fails there have been so I am estimating. Generously. But close!).

While I am at it, I applied for the audience a bunch of times and got the big "No Oprah for you!" form letter back. Just this week I applied for 10 more shows with the same response. I am going a bit out of order with my Fail numbers but we all know I am math impaired and went to public school, so it is not my fault and no one cares anyway. 

I experienced Oprah Fail #78 and #79 at Christmas dinner this year. I asked all the people I know who are living in Chicago right now if they knew anyone with connections or someone who could, you know, break into the ticket safe at the Harpo Studios. My sister's father- in- law used to work at the Ritz Carlton in Chicago so I thought, he has got to know someone! Alas, another fail. Then I hit up my sister's brother- in- law who is a personal- injury attorney. The fancy kind, with his own commercial and everything. Fail #79.

Again, like I have said, this is becoming an urgent matter. Once the talk show is over, that's it for me. Our satellite package does not include the OWN channel. We have like, 14 different versions of ESPN, but no Ope. 

OOOOOOOOOOOOprAAAAAAAAAAAAAh! CALL ME!