The Perfect Mommy

To start, that is not me. My title is accidental mommy. No, the best mommy ever is my friend Lisa. Lisa can tolerate anything from her children. I have never seen her hands clench up into little hard balls of concrete fury. I have never seen her children cover their ears, as mine do, in anticipation of ahem, a sudden increase in volume. Now to be fair her children do seem to be a bit more calm than mine. She tells me she yells, but I dont believe her. Lisa is a Real Mom, the kind who bakes cookies and doesnt have to spend an hour digging in the garage to find a cookie tin.
We are on the phone, and she is in the car with her little boy who is 3. She has given him a smoothie to eat/drink, whatever (see, I would let my kids get medically dehydrated before getting a smoothie in the car. or, anywhere except actually standing in the sink). So chat chat chat etc. Abruptly I hear- oh no, oh honey, awww. Mind you, the tone is the same as it was, chat chat chat etc. Of course I ask what happened? She says to me-- still in a stable, I -love- my -kids tone of voice--- the baby just dumped his smoothie on his head and it is all over his hair!
Now, this is where when you get to know other people, you get a different perspective on the ways of the world. I think most of us would be furious for the mess in the car as well as on the child. I know that I would drop my child off a bridge to wash herself up in the river and leave to go to the car wash (no, not really).
Lisa I think, felt sorry for her little boy for 2 reasons. One, he had cold oogy in his hair and that would have to be uncomfortable and two, he would be sad now that he had no more delicious smoothie.
Like I said, different perspective!

God Bless Wisconsin

This world is new to me. I never planned on having children, really! I just wanted to have lots of nieces and nephews that I could have a fabulous relationship with and send them home. I had cats instead of children. I really just wanted things in my house that could basically take care of themselves.
So then I had Teena. And, in her first 2 years of life, I decided that if I could handle one, and I did seem to have a good grip on the one, that 2 could not be that hard. I added a pissed off 4 year old to my mix, with special needs. Suddenly so many of my choices in my own life became secondary to maintaining health insurance for my children. Their father is self employed and so this weight fell on me. I had the job that offered health insurance. Really expensive health insurance, but when just a consultation with one of Genea's specialists cost......get ready.... $556, I had to maintain my job. This was not a problem on one level because I really enjoyed my job. But the cost of that damn insurance kept rising and rising, and I had to pay the whole thing out of paychecks that became LOWER than the monthly premium and my world self-combusted.
Genea, because of her special needs status, qualified for medicare just in the past 2 months. Out of desperation, and not really understanding how it worked, I applied for our family to get state self-employed insurance, such as what farmers might use. I was reasonably sure Teena would get it, as a child, this state wants all of its children covered. Also, reasonably sure Husb and I would not get it and we would have to just wing it because with pre existing conditions buying it ourselves would be more than a new house. But, we all got it. The relief to me, I cannot even describe it. Like diving into a bloody mary with a xanax in it.

No Mama, your undies are not showing

Ya' know, one of those days. You are in the middle of one thing, and another 5 come up. 2 are immediate priorities, one depends on completion of something else, and you forgot the other ones already. The phone rings picking up my daughter from school, it's her therapist so I need to answer. Kids and teachers and parents are flying past us yelling and talking and laughing. At the same time I am pushing the stroller of my 3 year old who is pitching a hissy because she wants to get out and walk. I am squatting down trying to detach her straps and talking at the same time. I go on hold briefly, and I ask my oldest, "Genea, quick look and tell me if my undies are showing." I am wearing a pair of Sarah Jessica Parker Bitten jeans, and they are really low cut. Probably lower than I should be wearing, but that is another point.
Genea, who is really good about stuff like that, she looooooves to help and be needed, checks my backside and informs me "No, Mama, your undies are not showing". Whew, dodged that little humiliation! Shift focus back to the phone... and the stroller straps.....Genea is talking again, what is she saying "....but your butt is!"
Love those kidlets!