tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8484148947744118811.post3435161634149574048..comments2023-11-03T10:44:07.581-05:00Comments on The Accidental Mommy: Santa Claus is coming......Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8484148947744118811.post-77813194340302495692010-02-13T16:11:18.027-06:002010-02-13T16:11:18.027-06:00Um right, if you cannot convince a child speaking ...Um right, if you cannot convince a child speaking the same language to behave, how are you going to tell your dog to behave just for you? Please. <br />Call it like it is right!The Accidental Mommyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00409271721074309249noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8484148947744118811.post-84960467223754891362010-02-12T17:01:34.858-06:002010-02-12T17:01:34.858-06:00OK, I found your blog...somehow...through another ...OK, I found your blog...somehow...through another blog...and I've been catching up from the beginning. LOVE IT. Been trying to withhold commenting since it would be, oh, MONTHS late, but hey, this topic just hit home with me! :-)<br /><br />I'm a dog trainer, and in dog training there are basically four kinds of motivation discussed: positive reinforcement (giving something they want), positive punishment (giving something they DON'T want), negative reinforcement (taking away something they DON'T want), and negative punishment (taking away something the want). Positive trainers use positive reinforcement (i.e. giving treats) and negative punishment (i.e. turning or walking away). I will, not uncommonly, tell my clients that I believe in bribery, because come on, that's what we're doing here! If I'm training a trick I don't bribe, the dog doesn't see the food until he's done what I ask, but if, say, the dog is terrified of me, I'm going to bribe him to come closer by offering tasty, delicious hot dog. Nothin' wrong with that. Though I get some funny/dirty looks when I CALL it bribery. Go figure.<br /><br />Oh, and I get a lot of the "I want the dog to do it just for me, not for a treat!" Really? How 'bout you do everything in life and never get any payment for it, in gratitude, food, or money, and see how eager you are... And like you said, they'll have to give SOME motivation, whether they recognize/acknowledge it or not.<br /><br />Not to compare children to dogs. Nope. Would never do that. *shakes head earnestly* But if I were going to..it would probably sound a lot like the above.<br /><br />Beware when I catch up to realtime. You will be inundated with (long) comments and added to my reader INSTANTLY. You have made me shake with laughter places I'm not supposed to be laughing repeatedly :-)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8484148947744118811.post-60512529204994675872009-12-16T08:54:17.622-06:002009-12-16T08:54:17.622-06:00My mom whaled the snot out of me to get me to beha...My mom whaled the snot out of me to get me to behave in a way she thought was appropriate. I've forgiven her because she was 43 when I was born and she'd never had close contact with a baby before. With little patience and a fondness for lounging around and playing cards with her childless friends, a crying baby who made demands on her was a nightmare from hell..<br />Of course she threatened to tell Santa about my misdeeds.<br />I never hit any of my three kids and I genuinely enjoy their company. I never used Santa as a threat. My problem was breaking the news that there was no actual Santa, although the spirit of giving is alive and well, yadda yadda.<br />My kids are still angry that I "lied" to them about Santa but if that's the worst thing I did to them I figure I did all right.Miz Kizzlehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05650747741395559803noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8484148947744118811.post-92200430721316905392009-12-08T13:33:34.413-06:002009-12-08T13:33:34.413-06:00Ya know, I thought about writing something similar...Ya know, I thought about writing something similar and decided not too Annieology- so I am glad you did!The Accidental Mommyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00409271721074309249noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8484148947744118811.post-16799392035161400492009-12-08T09:03:10.631-06:002009-12-08T09:03:10.631-06:00You should totally find Jesus. He works year roun...You should totally find Jesus. He works year round :) And ramps up the consequences ten fold. "You don't want to burn in hell for eternity, do you?"annieologyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00795613389857625993noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8484148947744118811.post-80864926200051602652009-12-07T22:14:59.669-06:002009-12-07T22:14:59.669-06:00I have seen those little elves, maybe I will get o...I have seen those little elves, maybe I will get one for the whole year. <br />The boogey man- that is pretty mean! My parents were trying too hard to talk us out of being scared of stuff. The belt though, thats what they used instead of the boogeyman threat.<br />The girls don't know what a lump of coal is. I tried to explain, then I finally said, you get a pile of dirt instead of presents.The Accidental Mommyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00409271721074309249noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8484148947744118811.post-53906341358202846212009-12-07T19:12:52.047-06:002009-12-07T19:12:52.047-06:00My mom threatened me with the boogeyman, too! Of c...My mom threatened me with the boogeyman, too! Of course, my mom is a royal bitch who hated every minute of motherhood.<br /><br />I tried the Santa threat thing last year. My kids scoffed at me "You know Santa ain't real, mom, who you tryin' to fool?"<br /><br />I got myself Andes mints, warm gloves, comfy jeans, and smelly lovely incense.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8484148947744118811.post-36975818236226594422009-12-07T18:42:56.539-06:002009-12-07T18:42:56.539-06:00I think that there is something about moral stages...I think that there is something about moral stages of development and that it isn't until stage 4 or 5 or something (rusty psych stuff rambling around up there) that people truly do stuff because it's the right thing to do, not because there isn't something in it for them or alternately because of fear of retribution (which are different levels). Help me out here, Annie. Didn't you write about this once too? There are many adults walking around who haven't reached this stage! But, I'm not aware of ANY 4 or 5 year olds who have. =)<br /><br />When I was a kid, my mom did one better than Santa: she used to threaten (involving actual phone dialing) to call "the boogey man" to come get us. And that one worked year round. (Can you imagine? Miracle we survived childhood in the 70's, huh?!)Rachaelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00992203896914180674noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8484148947744118811.post-12115016476086874602009-12-07T17:20:39.771-06:002009-12-07T17:20:39.771-06:00I can get the spawn to behave for a solid month ju...I can get the spawn to behave for a solid month just by telling them I have Santa on speed dial. It's awesome.Meghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07596650736290691630noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8484148947744118811.post-54109027638078110782009-12-07T15:01:41.237-06:002009-12-07T15:01:41.237-06:00diaper genie!! that's me!!diaper genie!! that's me!!Ghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08577926410913578120noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8484148947744118811.post-22771582917789956582009-12-07T14:54:15.544-06:002009-12-07T14:54:15.544-06:00You can tell your cousin that everyone ALWAYS does...You can tell your cousin that everyone ALWAYS does what they do because they want to do it. For example, sometimes your niece decides that she wants to be good (because she wants whatever bribe you've offered) more than she wants to yell her head off. :-)Rozminhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09549603103422415401noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8484148947744118811.post-34119063362542575852009-12-07T13:11:03.411-06:002009-12-07T13:11:03.411-06:00Kate, Santa has followed through in my house. Two...Kate, Santa has followed through in my house. Two years ago, two of my kids got nothing, nada, except a chocolate orange that I gave them and "family gifts". We had bought one of them a whole new bedroom full of stuff, but had to take it all back before the big day. One of mine still doesn't get much.<br /><br />Essie, you crack me up. Reminds me of a quote I once read by Abe Lincoln. He said that the reason he saved the pig from the mud was selfishness. That the motive for everything is selfishness. We only do things so that we don't have to feel badly. Everything in life is a huge bribe!<br /><br />Unfortunately, even the Santa bribe doesn't work in my house. What to do with a kid that wants nothing more than to hurt you?shastastevenshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04280161146135058117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8484148947744118811.post-83376433754924844202009-12-07T12:27:17.761-06:002009-12-07T12:27:17.761-06:00You need one of those elves who watch all day and ...You need one of those elves who watch all day and report to Santa at night and then show up in a different place the next morning. That might be Teena's buy-in.<br /><br />The problem with the Santa threat is that there is no follow through. Seriously now--do you know ANYONE who only got a lump of coal in their stocking? No. And do you know anyone who deserved that?? Hmmm...katehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01981791168464858869noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8484148947744118811.post-76862595533956286422009-12-07T11:59:30.328-06:002009-12-07T11:59:30.328-06:00Whatever it takes. ;)Whatever it takes. ;)Lisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16146320008307628429noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8484148947744118811.post-89208002232416923172009-12-07T11:57:17.952-06:002009-12-07T11:57:17.952-06:00last year on Christmas Eve on our way to church P ...last year on Christmas Eve on our way to church P put in a call to report Fudge... it took every ounce of self control I had not to laugh at the small boy crying in the back seat.stellarparenting.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04975942737904876508noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8484148947744118811.post-76180212456060075692009-12-07T11:14:43.706-06:002009-12-07T11:14:43.706-06:00i agree! santa has been a constant reinforcer in o...i agree! santa has been a constant reinforcer in our house this december!!! =)Shantihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16670894338491470873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8484148947744118811.post-71805390301919124832009-12-07T11:00:38.660-06:002009-12-07T11:00:38.660-06:00My mother knew how to bride and threaten and follo...My mother knew how to bride and threaten and follow through. If she talked to you in a store through gritted teeth and said the words, "wait until we get to the car missy." You had better start calculating an escape plan because your little fanny was going to get a spanking when you got to the car. That said she was a great Mom who raised two kids who both turned into productive members of society. <br /><br />I agree with you, we call it positive reinforcement (bribes) and incentives (threats) but it is what it is. Let's anti up! Rock on accidental Mommy!Mom 4 Kidshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10906174408622921425noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8484148947744118811.post-19405366558665380952009-12-07T09:39:54.165-06:002009-12-07T09:39:54.165-06:00When I took psychology waaaay back in the day, one...When I took psychology waaaay back in the day, one of the things they talked about was "positive reinforcement" which is just a fancy way of saying bribery. So if the psych world is on board with it, it must have merit, yes?Aunt Juiceboxhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09312942310632639442noreply@blogger.com