Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Happy School Starts Week!

I have been reading from a number of people who are having sad moments wistful for time gone by with children old enough to start school, whether kindergarten or high school...
I cannot relate to these women.
I can relate to the woman on http://www.manicmommies.com/ Big Tent group who took a picture of herself waving the children off to school while holding a bottle of champagne (yes this gives her 3 arms but please don't be cruel about it).
I am so happy school started that I am having my bloody mary straight up, no floating xanax!
My girls have been beasts for about a week kicking it up to high gear over the delightful 3 day weekend. Absolutely Vile. So bad that it became apparent this was not an issue of behavioral choices, but clearly required a call to the Vatican. No thank you Dr. Psychiatrist, we have a priest coming.
Genea in particular has been a ping pong ball with hair. Her stress level exceeded her ability to cope with just about everything. Juice with breakfast? She wanted MILLLLLKKKKKKK. Can I have a candy before lunch? No? WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! I picked a movie to put on and now I want a different one but the first one is still on.....BAAAWAAA YOU RUINED MY LIFFFFFFEEEEEE.
Want to throw yourself off of a bridge yet?
And with all the fuss surrounding Genea starting school and getting new clothes and her own box of crayons, Teena has lost her shit as well. They are reasonably well behaved by my low standards when they are apart. Together, they are Damian's twin sisters (from the Omen movies).
Genea started school yesterday. Coincidentally, Teena chose this opportunity for a review of the house rules. Being a bright child, she has exceptional powers of recall and has been able to challenge just about every rule of civilized society as well as those of our home which are considerably looser. (Don't bleed. Don't kill your sister. When you decide to turn on your parents as a teenager kindly give us a chance to run, you can have the house). She has tested everything and has quite a skill for getting right up to the point of earning some time on the Bad Baby Rug (YES! I use the word BAD to describe BAD behavior) and then pulls out a SWITCHEROO to the next grating behavior.
Hmmmm, maybe I will float a xanax in my bloody mary for breakfast.

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